The Carrot Juice Saga, June 2003


Last week I was being productive, yet slightly bored at work. This combination leads to a flow of creative genius and I posted the following on craigslist’s barter/swap/free section:

I bought this bottle of Odwalla carrot juice from my cafeteria today for lunch (approx. 30 minutes ago). I took a few sips and realized that it tastes like ass to me. If you enjoy carrot juice and don't mind a little bit of backwash, contact me and I'll hook you up with the rest of the bottle.

Even though I spent $2.99 for the juice, you can have the rest for free. Maybe give me a 15 minute massage if you feel the need to pay me back.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I received several interesting responses. Most were quite interested in my juice and I had on-going dialogue about how to pick up the juice, but alas, my schedule was quite busy and no one followed through.

Here are some of the responses I received.



From: sanchez_hung@yahoo.com
 after reading that all i could think of was.. MMM ASS if it's still available, BART over to the city and gimme a sip or two. i could use the taste of a nice tossed salad. yummilicious ;)
My response:
 Amazingly, the juice is still available!! You're in luck!
However, I can't BART into the city right now.. too busy looking busy at work at the moment. BUT (no pun intended) I will be in the city on Saturday. If the juice is still available, you may have your sip of pureed carrot then.
Reply:
 hey... won't the juice be rotten then? hmm.. perhaps like a new booze. carrot alcohol..... beer and butt mixed together? pure heavenly delight what'cha gonna do on saturday in the city? and don't knock ass tasting til you try it. munch, munch!!

I liked this person’s enthusiasm, however, we didn’t get to meet up in the city.



From: ankrum@pacbell.net
 that sounds great I can come by at the following dates/times
thurs. at 6:30, 9:00
friday at 7:00, 6:50, 7:53
sat. all day
sun. 3:00, 7:00, 7:34, and so forth.
thanks.
My response:
 The next few days are hell for me so I might not be able to coordinate times with you. Do you need the juice to be refrigerated? Maybe I can leave the juice somewhere.. I live in Berkeley. How about MLK and Ashby? On the corner near the BART staircase?
Reply:
 Perhaps sometime after the 27th. I also am quite busy but fond of juice. You may leave it at the following intersections.
ashby and college
shattuck and university
marin and oxford
at the first between seven and eight. at the second between the hours of 9:32 and 4:44 and so forth
My response:
 After the 27th would work fine. If you don't need it to be refrigerated, I'll leave it in my truck until then. I hope you don't mind but my coworkers took sips to confirm it tasted like ass so there are a few more speckles of backwash in it now. I'm sure it won't affect the taste.
I'm fond of juice as well, just not carrot juice as I discovered today.
His response:
 yes

How cryptic. This guy was pretty cool



From: TParra@d11.uscg.mil
 This sounds wonderful....I love carrot juice and giving massages. Call me to exchange the merchandise. Nina 510 415 XXXX

Didn’t get a chance to call her.



From: willsace@yahoo.com
 ARE YOU FRICKEN NUTS. WHY WASTE A SECOND, POSTING A STUPID AD LIKE THAT YOU MORON. GET A FRICKEN LIFE YOU NUT

Argh, I need a life, yes indeedy.



Follow up post on craigslist.

Although I got several delightful responses from juice lovers around the bay area, I didn't get the chance to follow through with the exchange. The carrot juice is still sitting on my desk (not even half-gone, I barely took a sip before I decided it was not to my taste - I prefer the greenness of Superfood myself, but I digress).

The expiry states June 21st, so time is running out. The juice bottle is getting bulbous so not only will you get juice, but a nice whiff of unknown gasses which I'm sure you juice connoisseurs can appreciate. Please be serious and pick up soon.

Unfortunately my post was flagged in a few hours and my carrot juice is still sitting on my desk. I fear what lies within.


Contact me at Akasha1_@hotmail.com