Chocolate... I need chocolate!! I have this big ol' pimple on my chin. I feel bloated! I want Matt, like now.

Ahh, I love being a girl. tee hee.

I haven't even started a ridestory for my competition this past weekend. Too busy/lazy.. but I'll tell you about what happened Sunday.

I was zonked out on my couch when Matt arrived to hang out for the day. We walked around Telegraph (Matt calls it Smellograph) and ate Fat Slice pizza which was quite yummy except the garlic gave me a little bit of an upset stomach. Walking helped, and we browsed a few of the shops.. including the hat shop where we took a bunch of goofy pictures before we got caught by one of the employees :) That's where that 'Kong in a Thong' picture came from in the previous entry's ofoto link.

Later that evening we went for Indian food at Mehak's Indian Cuisine on Sacramento.. we angered them by using our 2 for 1 coupon at the end of the meal. I have a lot more where that came from! I bought this big fat entertainment book for $20 with a bunch of restaurants with 2 for 1 deals, so we'll probably anger all of the restaurants in the East Bay by the end of next year by using them. The highly anticipated 'Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow' was a *big* disappointment.. don't waste your money. Matt summed it up quite well when he couldn't resist the urge to scream, "OH MY GOD THAT MOVIE SUCKED" in the echo-ey stairwell outside of the theatre. Indeed, that movie sucked.

For some reason Matt and I both can't stop snickering when one of us says 'punjabi'. Why is that? It sounds somewhat perverted.. but I'm not sure why.

New camera fun:

Gratuitous Isabella photos.

I also took a movie of her running around. The camera shaking is when I reached down to throw something at her.. after which commenced horse-freakin'-out-head-shakin.

Right click here and do a 'Save As'.

Stupid downstairs neighbor! I make a peep and he gets his panties in a wad, I swear. The past few nights I've used my front door (which is above his bedroom) for literally less than 2 minutes to grab my mail from the mailboxes out front or to walk China, and as soon as he hears me walking down my steps he bangs on his wall angrily. What am I supposed to do?? Be trapped in my house? Not be able to use my front door? It's not like I'm hanging out there having a midnight boombox party.. grrr... *rantrant*

Off to Folsom!

What started as a discussion about lunch..

Steve: two tacos combination
Julienne: carne asada?
Steve: just normal. i had a few of my friend's rolled tacos also
Julienne: is that a euphamism for penis?
Steve: no
Steve: although those was a good dose of homoeroticism in the meal
Steve: we talked about the time we went camping and i watched him take a shit
Julienne: what was that like?
Steve: kind of like watching your dog take a dump
Julienne: hunched back, strained expression
Julienne: why did you watch?
Steve: well he went behind some trees to go while i was cooking pizzas. i finished with the pizzas so i carried one over and started singing to fuck with his head
Julienne: wierd
Julienne: i peed in front of matt this weekend.. squatted in front of him while he blocked me from the public with a towel
Steve: where was this?
Steve: thats love right there
Julienne: at waterworld.. in one of the cabanas I was changing in. The curtains didn't really reach the ground so if i squatted people would've seen me peeing if they looked underneath
Julienne: i've peed in front of him on the toilet before.. but outside it was different
Julienne: i got pee anxiety
Steve: wait
Steve: you just peed in one of the cabanas?
Steve: was there a toilet there?
Julienne: nope.. i peed in the back cuz they were next to bushes
Steve: dude
Steve: ganxta

There's this hootchie momma gal that's been frequenting the dog park lately. She's totally ghetto, in her high heels, short shorts (of which she does not have the body to be showing off) and low-cut shirts. She bought a pit bull puppy(which I don't get, who buys a pit bull??) who she named 'Versace'. T-R-A-S-H-Y. I try and avoid her and whenever she comes near a bench I'm sitting on, I usually truck myself over to another spot to avoid talking with her. However, yesterday her and an older woman who was sitting next to me got into an indepth conversation of testicles.

The woman asks hootchiemomma (HM) how old her puppy was and why she hadn't neutered him yet. HM replies, "I'm waiting for his neuticles to arrive. She explains further to say she's paying almost $500 to pay for the neuter and neuticle implants. The woman asks HM why she is paying that much for that procedure? HM, "Well, I just like the look of his butt with his BAAAAALLLLS hanging down." She says this very loudly. The woman explains that people will probably give her crap constantly for not neutering her dog and that she'll have to explain every time that they're fake. HM says she doesn't care what other people think, that she doesn't give a sh*t. However, later on when asked why she liked the look of BAAALLLLLS hanging down between her puppy's legs, she said, "Well, people expect to see BAAAALLLLS hanging down when you're looking at a male pit bull. Otherwise, they say it doesn't look right." o.O Whatever lady, total hypocrite HM. She's friggin nuts. No pun intended. After this I got up and walked over to another bench to sit while she continued talking about the merits of BAAALLLLLSS loudly to the dog park crowd.

I don't like my neighbor's dog too much. He peed on my shoes, he's peed on China's bed (both of them), he doesn't know what 'NO' means, he almost made me fall down the stairs from pulling on the leash, and I'm allergic to him. Bad dog (probably stemming from bad owner). No likey.

All this makes me appreciate China that much more. She's such an awesome dog.. I guess I didn't do too bad of a job of training her.

Bizarre dream last night.

My left hand had two splinters underneath the skin. They looked unobtrusive so I went on my merry little way and ignored them because I had stuff to do. Finally I took a tweezer thingy and pulled one of them out. They were the size of a pencil, dark charcoal grey, and rounded. WTF. The second one I pulled out was like that too. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN.

I had a nice ride on Isabella last night. I took China along and we went about 6 miles or so. This one time (at band camp), my entourage and I passed this old couple who were on their Sunday hike. The lady smiled at us and said, "How fun, out with your two best friends." I always think about that whenever I'm out on the trails with them. :)

China can be very annoying, however. Whenever we pass anyone that looks A LITTLE different, she ruffs at them and refuses to pass them on the trail, leaving me yelling after her after she decides its time to hightail it home. Last night we passed this little old lady, rounded and chubby, with fuzzy white hair that stuck up. I said hello to her and she smiled and said hello back.. but China wasn't having it. Her hackles stood straight up and she ruffed suspiciously at her. We were at a Y on the trail so the lady was nice enough to turn around and head up the other trail so China would feel comfortable passing her to get to me. She sprinted as fast as she could towards where Isabella and I stood. Argh, crazy dog. Not only is this embarrassing, but totally dangerous too.. she did that once while we were on a trail next to the road, and she went off the trail onto the road to avoid the two men joggers and get back to us. Frustrating.

I swear, my whole building is shaking today! My office itself has been rattling all morning long - it's raking on my nerves, and even with headphones on I can hear the high pitched squeeeeeeking! Arrgh.

Weekend update:
Saturday: Matt and I went along with Merima, her bf John, and Amit to Waterworld in Concord for Merima's company picnic. For $10 we got: free food and drink, free admission, and a free ticket to Marineworld's FrightFest, MUCHO SCORE. It was a little chilly, but overall not too bad. I went on this one single slide that was all dark and covered that scared the crap outta me (Slide number 4, evil). NEVER AGAIN. I slid out of the slide really fast also.. way faster than everyone else! Merima came out of her covered slide (Number 1) next. Matt and John took the two in the middle which were open, and Matt shot out next (Number 3). 5 minutes later, John came out of Number 2, very slowly. Number two apparently is very slow and painstaking.. many peeps find it hard to get out of Number 2, unlike Number 1, 3, and 4, which are smooth and quick. We saw several people having difficulty with Number 2 that day. Next time I think I'll go for Number 2.

There was also this slutty blue haired chickie that kept eyeing me when we went for an ice cream break in the picnic area. I kept looking back at her wondering what her problem was, and as we sat down to eat our ice cream, she passed us and gave Matt this "sexy" look with her ice cream spoon. WTF. I'll beat her ass for lookin' at my man, c'mon bitch! You wanna piece of me?? YO WHATUP WHATWHAT MOTHAFUCKA BRING IT AWWWN. I think the rattling in my office is making me a little jittery.

Sunday: Woke up next to Matt to a huge downpour of rain. Exclaimed, "It's Raining!" and went back to sleep (for some reason I find this funny). Later on I went for a nice ride on Isabella.. all the trails were damp and quiet. Very pretty. I vegged out the rest of the evening and watched Titanic on TIVO even though I have it on VHS.

I like the trumpets in Modest Mouse's 'This Devil's Workday'. Snazzy.

Just got my new toy today.. A Nikon Coolpix 4300.. SHEAH! I'll be taking A LOT of pictures of everything from now on, be afraid.

Our company just released the holiday party invites today.. an evening at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. So cool. I love an excuse to get all dressed up.. it'll be fun to see Matt all gussied up too. :) So cute.. so hot. *drool*

I've been enjoying my new Tivo at home. I have season passes to: Scrubs, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, Teen Titans (sensing a trend here yet?), Yu-Gi-Yoh!, America's Horse, Survivor Ventanamo (whatever), and Surreal Life.

ATHF is such a messed up show, I love it. It is just so completely wierd and crazy.. the episode I saw last had the neighbor, Carl, who was supposed to be babysitting Meatwad, sitting in front of the TV, watching women do Yoga, with his pants down at his ankles. He had hairy legs. My favorite character is Frylock.. he's such a tightass, but he likes to get down once in a while.. hehe!!

Lizette, I got October 8th and 11th off, so we'll be spending a few days down there..

Someone needs to take away my credit card!

Silver Spurs NATRC Ride, 2004. Ridestory up for ya'll. Enjoy! :)

Ridestory coming up.. hold yer horses!

Last night I went to Safeway to collect a few items for this weekend and picked up a BFS for dinner. (BFS = big friggin steak) It had been a while since I really had red meat and so I cooked me up a lovely piece along with some red potatoes. Mmm.. It was so wierd though, about 3 hours later I felt famished! What's up with that? It just didn't feel like it filled me up at all.

Anyone watch Six Feet Under? I'm watching the end of the 2nd season and it is sooo messed up. Brenda is sleeping with anonymous strangers even though she's engaged to Nate, who is having an illegitimite child with that girl from Seattle. WTF. It's a little too messed up - the first season seemed much better.

Just came back from lunch with the ex-coworkers. Ate a pork burrito. No beans.

Last night I had a crazy ride on Isabella. First off, I show up at the barn in my shorts, thinking I'd just turn her out and work on the trailer for this weekend. It had completely slipped my mind that I had agreed to ride with a newcomer to the barn with her Tennessee Walker. For those of you that don't know, Walkers are a gaited breed.. they walk extremely fast and its difficult to ride a "normal" gaited horse with Walking horses because you can't choose a good gait to keep up with them. So Isabella was getting quite riled up because she was constantly switching from a jog to a walk to a jog. I rode in my bareback pad because riding in a saddle in shorts isn't a good idea (stirrup leathers will pinch your legs), and it was quite a test of inner-thigh muscles just to keep on. Towards the end of the ride she was blasting up these hills after this horse, doing mini-rears and jumping up and down in frustration. ARGH. It wasn't a fun ride.

After the ride, I tied Isabella up to sponge her off.. she had worked up quite a sweat in the heat. Just by chance, I peeked in the neighboring stall which housed Sugar, an older horse used for the barn's childrens therapy program. She was on her belly and groaning, trying to roll over and alleviate her belly pain. Her eyes were glazed over and she made no attempt to get up when I walked into her stall to console her and check her vital signs. I pulled her out of her stall, informed the other people of her condition, and began walking her around the stalls. She was in such discomfort, whenever we'd slow down she'd try to lie back down. Poor girl. The emergency vet was called out and she was tubed with electrolytes, just as Isabella was 2 years ago when she colicked. Her owner kept thanking us profusely for noticing Sugar in pain and catching it before she had to spend the night like that. Colic is quite common when the weather goes to any extreme. :(

I didn't get home until 9 or so after keeping Sugar's owner company and finishing up with the trailer stuff. I was starving by this point so I stopped by a taqueria for a burrito (I had a wierd craving). TOO MANY BEANS!!!!!!!! This morning I was in pain with as much gas that accumulated in my intestines.. what's up with beans making so much gas? What is the reasoning for this?? Some cruel joke! GAH! Anyways, I didn't get much sleep either because China kept squirting after eating too many tablescraps this past weekend. She woke me up at around 5am pacing and breathing on my face to go outside. I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards, too many thoughts racing through my mind..

Let it be known I have the best boyfriend evar.

Yuck, what awful heat we've been having lately. This past weekend I went for a long ride on Saturday around Lake Chabot - about 15 miles or so (I got a little lost, it may have been longer). Temperatures were in the upper 90s, and I drank pretty much all the liquid I had on hand with me. Towards the end of the ride I was getting headaches (not good) and I kept having to stop in the shade to try and cool off. Isabella fared much better, she was happy to snort at horse-eating objects and spook happily throughout the ride.

Although it sucked, I'm glad I did it - this coming weekend is the Silver Spurs NATRC ride and I wanted to reassure myself Isabella was up for the heat and the distance. We'll be going a few miles further, but with more water available and many more breaks and vet holds throughout the day, it should be easier. I'll be going solo and I've decided to leave China at home (thanks Mark and Laquel for offering to look after her!).

The rest of this weekend was spent trying to avoid the heat as much as possible. Matt and I went to Southland Mall on Sunday - we played Skeeball and Stomp the Gophers in the arcade room. We won enough tickets for a little happy face magnet and 2 tootsie rolls (woohoo!) Oh yeah, I also won $10 in the lotto, yababy.

Personal Introspection Time:
I recently read an article that had to do with abandonment issues. Childhood memories of abandonment are often blocked out, "the feelings which are stimulated in these childhood situations are often simply too painful to be experienced (felt) and integrated (understood) at the time. Nonetheless, they are a part of the person's experience, and cannot be dismissed. They must, eventually be experienced and integrated." I think this is the reason why I remember little to nothing of my early childhood memories, and even memories up to my teen years. My earlier relationship with Bob was "safe" in that I was younger, less mature, less experienced. These memories, although present, were not ready to resurface. In my relationship last year which lasted a few months, I began exhibiting signs of these emotions which began to stir and rear their ugly heads. I smothered my affections and clung onto a projection of my dad who was to be my caretaker and nuturer. Even when things weren't going well, I couldn't let go in fear I'd be left alone, and when the relationship finally did resolve, I was devastated. Not for the relationship on itself, but rather, feelings of defeat and guilt for losing "him" again.

I see these emotions manifest in several ways. I become unnecessarily harsh towards other people to push them away, to give them an excuse to leave. I am also very self-defeating when people leave, even when it has nothing to do with me personally. This in turn leaves the other person feeling guilty, which makes me feel worse. It's a non-ending cycle of self-destruction.

When I am alone, I can get along fairly well. These feelings are kept at bay because it is easy to supress emotions when my life is pretty much stable. However, when a trickle of passion of any kind is released: love, happiness, anger, guilt, sorrow, a myriad of unaddressed issues are released as well, and without the arsenal of being able to cope, I find myself on the cusp of two paths. Either a path to let go and face these inner obstacles God placed before me and to come out a stronger person, or to a familiar place I was 2 years ago when I felt I was falling down into a well of nothingness with arms reaching out to help me, but only wanting to fall deeper into the darkness.

I'm afraid I'm doing that again. This time around I have devotion, love, and understanding to the scope that sometimes I don't even comprehend to help me get over this. I need to get over this.. I'm seeking help to hopefully finally deal.

Crazy, yes.

Ugh, I'm so tired of this heat. I'm OVER IT.

Me running through a sea of peeejohhhnss...

Series of morning events:

Woke up late, realized carpool was arriving 15 minutes early, rushed around like a madwoman trying to get dressed/walk China/feed China/eat breakfast.

Period started. (ugh)

Went around back after walking China, walked up back patio steps right into a giant spider web which wrapped around my face. Tried not to panic and calmly located spider and flicked it off shoulder.

Carpool arrived, sat in traffic for almost an hour, late for meeting with supervisor.

Loverly. Why does my computer keep dinging at me? I can't find the dinging source.

If that doesn't amuse you enough, Matt wanted me to share a few stories with ya'll that happened this weekend.

In Half Moon Bay, we had stopped by the Rite-Aid to pick up some drinks/sunscreen for the beach. After collecting what we wanted to buy, we lingered in the shaving cream isle. Matt found a big bouncy beach ball and kicked it towards me.

Matt - "Hey look, a beach ball."
Me - "Oh Cool." *KICK*
~ball proceeds to hit the ceiling then richochets down onto a row of hair care products *cringe* a few cans drop to the floor and the ball lands in between us. oops.
Matt (in loud voice) - "I can't believe you did that!! You're so destructive kicking that beach ball around!" (in soft voice) "That was awesome sweetie, I love when you do things like that."
This amused me greatly. *kicked ball towards Matt* *Matt kicks ball up into the air*
~ball travels off a few aisles over where its no longer in view. we hear the sounds of multiple women's makeup products hitting the ground
Matt (in loud voice) - "Honey, I told you to stop kicking that ball around!!" (in soft voice) "heheh."

Off to the beach. Luckily we met a few really nice people who told us how to get to the dog park. It took us a while, but we finally arrived to a long stretch of foggy beach where tons of dogs were running around and having fun. As soon as we stepped onto the sand, I remembered the fiasco at Ocean Beach where China ran around with dog poo stuck in her butt. "Oh crap, I forgot to bring a poop baggy. Do you have one?" Matt shook his head, no. I scan the beach's collection of trash for a bag but can't find one.. however, there is a bucket. ha! That will do nicely.

As if on cue, China gets in her poopoo hunched position and begins straining. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with the bucket, but just out of instinct I rush towards her and catch the poo mid-air as it drops. China runs away - I think my rushing towards her scared any more poo into making an appearance and Matt is laughing his ass off. I'm not sure what posessed me to catch the poo instead of scooping it up. Matt felt it was worth documenting.

Good times.