I often wonder what ants are doing when they're carrying their fallen comrades around the place. I mean, I understand if they're clearing out their little den and need to get the dead out of walking space, but what about when they're just out in the open wanding around in circles? What could they be thinking? As I was peeing in my bathroom, I noticed a little ant carrying his dead friend around on the wall. First of all, they were nowhere near their friends.. no ants to be seen on the horizon, second of all, they were on the wall.. making the effort even harder. What's up with that? You'd think he'd just ditch his friend and go on his merry little way finding food or getting the hell back home.

I rode my fuzzy horse this morning! Yay, Isabella! Because of all the rain yesterday, she was quite clean. So, I hopped on her bareback and rode around for a little bit. I've been taking it easy because I haven't been feeling 100%.. must not get sick for tomorrow night! Amit is takin' us all to a wherehouse party in Oakland called "Wish". Should be good times!

An update on my wound (which is on my elbow, *not* my nipple as many people who have emailed me seem to think). It seems to be healing nicely, with a little scabbiness showing around the edges of the wound. It's not nearly as juicy as it was before.

Uploaded Christmas pictures.. too lazy to put them all on a page, but take a look if you'd like to.

Here are a few that amused me:
Mark, Frankenstein

China with all the ribbons from our presents, looking overjoyed.

Mark again.

I'm not sure what's going on here

Bein' a dork

This morning I woke up at 5:30am to make the drive back to Berkeley. My night sucked, veering off advances from my sister (we slept in the same bed and she kept trying to accost me!), China throwing up, and China waking me up to go outside and play (at friggin 3am in the morning! and now she's sleeping soundly.. bastard). The drive went smoothly, and I arrived to a rainy, dreary, soggy east bay.

The holiday was pretty good.. we ate at the really nice restaurant Andy has been working in and he gave us star treatment. With a cheese plate, seared scallops, a chicken salad sandwich, and a huge dessert plate, we were quite sufficiently stuffed. The rest of the weekend we went shopping (I bought a really nice Anne Klein suit on sale), looked at this amazing neighborhood all decked out in Christmas lights, and ended the weekend off by singing karoake at the local norebang.

"Don't speak.. I know what you're thinking.. and I don't need no reason.. Don't tell me cuuuuz it huuurts"

Ahem.

So anyways, I tried to sleep today, but only managed in about 2 hours.. so exhausted I can't even sleep. I've never had that problem before. In the meantime, I've been looking up old high school friends on friendster. It's amazing how little memories I've had from those years.

I enjoy being home. Although I loved being with my family these past few days, there's something about being in your own space.. although looking around my apartment, I've realized how much crap I've accumulated. So these next few weeks I'll be looking to decrease my posessions. Then I'll go into the forest and live naked in trees. Aight. Peace out, man.

Merry Christmas everyone!

I think its quite amusing that China signed my guestbook..

Alas, my intrepid readers, through wind and hail I ventured through the perilous roads of I5 to bring you more pictures of my disgusting wound via my sister's webcam.


As you can see, it's healing quite nicely. See all that brown stuff at the bottom? All that is wound juice. It doesn't hurt and it doesn't smell, so it seems to be a pretty sterile environment (ie, not infected). I'm wondering if I should change the dressing because I'm worried that it may burst at a inoppurtune time like Christmas dinner with the relatives all over the mashed potatoes.

Made it to socal in 5 1/2 hours, I rock. Throughout the 5 1/2 hours, many thoughts passed through my head. Like creating a dressing with the ideal media included for the optimal propagation of human epidermal cells. Which growth supplements would be needed? A quick query lead to the following:
1:1 mixture of Dulbecco's modified Eagle's medium and Ham's F12 medium
20 ng/ml Human epidermal growth factor
100 ng/ml cholera toxin
0.01 mg/ml bovine insulin
500 ng/ml hydrocortisone 95%
horse serum 5%

Hooray, I'm a nerd!

Fixed Merima's new webpage link and added Rachel's page. If you want to be linked, let me know... seeing as I have all this free time now. :D

That Tegaderm stuff is awesome.. it allows me to see how everything's healing. The wound is draining and filling up the dressing, so I added some bandage tape to the sides so the lymph fluid doesn't leak out. Apparently the moist environment is ideal for regeneration of epidermal cells. The initial swelling also went down quite a bit.

I added a picture for you guys. See the whiter stuff? I think that's skin regrowth. Pretty cool, eh?

Hooray picture!

As requested by my sister, I went ahead and took a picture of my elbow. Unfortunately my digital camera ran out of batteries, so it had to be on my crappy webcam. The shiny stuff is Tegaderm, a dressing to keep it clean but allowing the wound to "breathe". It's too bad there isn't much detail.. the white stuff is just naseating to look at, and I wish I could share it with everyone. The whole thing is growing also.. pretty soon I'll have a mini-arm for my arm.

I fell off my bike today! Biking back from work, I left the main exit of Bayer and proceeded along my merry little way. Riding parallel across the remnants of Berkeley train tracks that run along the roads, I turned to shift over to the right to make room for traffic and my wheel caught on the metal tracks and I went toppling over.. ack!

Slow motion ensued as the majority of my weight landed on my right elbow, then wrist.. my knee also caught on the ground right before the right side of my head went *clonk* on the gravel. I was wearing a helmet, thank goodness.. or I'd probably still be lying there unconscious. I stood up to assess the situation. I could move my elbow, my head wasn't too dizzy (this year I've had my fair share of head-bonking falls), and I could walk. My bike was also in decent shape. I was okay, but in a little bit of shock as the adrenaline was pumping through my veins.

Anyways, the whole ordeal was totally embarrassing, so I scampered back onto my bike for the rest of the ride home. I could feel the areas where the skin was scraped off begin to burn.. but knowing myself, I was afraid to look because I'd probably gross out and be too sick to ride any futher. At home, I took my jacket off and saw that the elbow scrape was the worst.. right down to the white part (disgusting) and a good chunk of flesh was torn off my wrist as well. Then I puked because it was all so gross-looking. Then I treated myself.

I don't think I'd make a good doctor and probably not a nurse.

Ah well. Off to the dog park with Miss China Vagina and probably to the drugstore to pick up bandages for my decrepit arm.

Oh yes, Faramir.. the hottest guy of all of Middle Earth. Not a bad result.. not bad at all.


Congratulations! You're Faramir!


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
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Nihilist Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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I'm going into the city today to see the Macy's holiday decorations, yay!

Hey everyone, I'm going to give away my old mountain bike. It's real old skool and kind of rusty. The seat's torn and the bike has only two gears (really hard to pedal and really fast to pedal). But it can get you around town and no one will want to steal it. If anyone wants it, let me know.. otherwise I'll post on craigslist.

I finally sauntered into work at 1:30pm today after debating the whole morning whether I wanted to come in or not. I figured I have the next two weeks off, so I might as well come in to see if there were any job leads around.

I decided to be doubly productive and ride my bike in.. unfortunately my bike's tires are half-flat, so I have to work twice as hard to pedal. Geezus. I'm going to have monster thighs, folks and it ain't gonna be pretty. As soon as I got in, I munched on some candy in the breakroom since I didn't bring lunch, and now I'm sitting in my cube, my head abuzz in the sugar coma state.

Well, I just went and talked to a coworker of mine for a while, and now I'm sitting back at my cube again, wondering if I should go home.. it is now 2:04pm.

I just came back from my department's holiday lunch and let me tell ya, I ate *so* much.. I had to get my money's worth since it was on the company's bill. We went to the Townhouse Bar and Grill in Emeryville. Very yummy
Here's the low-down:
Drink
Iced tea
Appetizers
garlic fries
nacho's
sourdough bread and butter
Main Course
Ahi Tuna Nicoise on a bed of lettuce and roasted vegetables
Dessert
Persimmon and Date Rum Cake with whipped cream
Cappucino

Dear lord I'm going to explode. I'm pretty happy though because I think I cost the company a nice chunk of change with my lunch and I'm full. Excuse me now, need to go spend some time on the 'loo.

I just realized I've been sending off resumes from my email address with the nomenclature, "Julienne The Conquerer". Oops!

Not much to write about today.. I'm really tired for some reason. I think my body is fighting illness, go go immune system go.. must not be sick. Did I mention I'm paranoid of getting sick?

So, I'm working on getting another roommate for the 2nd bedroom. I am *really* looking forward to living alone, so I am going to see if I can find a commuter roommate for only a few nights a week, or someone with different hours than me so we wouldn't be home at the same time. The whole job situation has left me considering other places to live.. although I love Berkeley very much, it would be exciting to move somewhere else and see where my opportunities lie. Just for fun I applied for this job on craigslist. That's right.. it's in Hawaii! How awesome would that be.. of course I'd have to ship Isabella and China over there with me. But that would be sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!

Oh geezus. I'm remembering this dream I had last night.. I slept with a guy friend of mine (the thought makes me want to vomit and I think I was pretty queasy in my dream), but he was really really good. Yucko!! *must cleanse dream mind from gross thoughts* Ugh, excuse me while I go pop a few Tums.

Gawd!! I'm really deathly paranoid that I'm going to catch the flu. I'm pretty much the only one I know that hasn't gotten sick this season, so any time I feel a little throat itching going on, I start downing the vitamin C, echinecea (which makes me queasy), and zinc lozanges. I'm been avoiding public areas like the plague, and drinking lots of orange juice. Ugh, my stomach.. echinecea is nasty stuff I tells ya.

Nothing really extraordinary happened this weekend. Merima is moving out.. with 5 months left on the lease we decided it was better to preserve our friendship rather than end up killing each other. Our friendship is pretty strong, but combine that with her working long stressful hours, our two breakups, me being laid off, and an assortment of other small-life stressors, it was taking a toll on us.

Yesterday I walked around Berkeley's Art festival for a few hours with Amit and Laquel, enjoying the sun which was a nice suprise from the incredible rainstorm that hit the night before.

I purchased two investing books: The Buffettology Workbook and The Intelligent Investor. Warren Buffet has made over 30 billion dollars in the past 40 years with an initial investment of $100K. According to these stats, I will make $30 million dollars with my initial investment of $10K by the time I'm 60 years. I like those odds!

When China's on her back and I'm standing over her, I often like to drop spit and see if I can get it into her mouth. She then gets pissed at me and walks away. Tee Hee.

One of the advantages of being laid off is that now I can stay out as late as I want. Last night I went into the city with Walt and Amit to meet up with some of Walt's friends.. they were Highly Intellectual. Anyways, we had pizza from Pizza Orgasmica which was on the level of rivaling Cheeseboard pizza, although Cheeseboard is still the best so far. SO FRIGGIN' YUMMY!! omg

Afterwards we went to this beer pub on Haight.. going into the city is always an interesting experience. It is such a completely stark contrast from anywhere in the east bay. Just teeming with life and young people.. no parking and lots of homeless. The architecture of the rowhouses that line the street are breathtaking.. we saw several spectacular Christmas displays as we walked to and from the pub.

My plan today:
discovered I can't check work e-mail from home
did laundry, including my sheets
discussed the greatness that is George Michael with my sister for a while
need to cut my nails which are reaching Wolverine status
grocery shopping at Trader Joe's
need to pick up some picture frames from IKEA (ugh, I dread going there)

I think I'll also pick up some financial advice books from the bookstore in Emeryville as well. Then tonight I shall eat lots of meat with Mark, hooray!

A typical conversation with Walt:

Akasha1557: Baha, you're up to 25%
Akasha1557: It wasn't me!!
wjquestus: someone at work warned me after they saw that you warned me :-(
Akasha1557: that's my kinda person
Akasha1557: omg, look at this post
wjquestus: i wish him luck, hizzoes are hard to find...
Akasha1557: werd
wjquestus: just once, I'd like to say, "Jump on my dick, bitch, while your hot friend watches" and have it go over well
Akasha1557: Hm.. interesting.

Resume is posted on the left, please don't stalk me.

There ya go... the press release. The official announcement came today at 1pm. Bayer let go over 150 people at the Berkeley site. I have 90 days guaranteed employment and a pretty nice severance package plus vacation payoff.

Bah! I'm getting nice and sloshed tonight..

It's doomsday, T minus 20 minus and counting..

Hm, anyone know of any research scientist position openings? Particularly with an emphasis on cancer immuno-pharmacology models and molecular biology? =)

Yeeee-haw!! My boss just gave me tomorrow off. SUPERSCORE!!!!!!!!!

Ahhh!! When I've found myself thinking about nothing, this song has been creeping its way into my head for the past two days!

I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic.
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere.
Imagination, life is your creation.
Come on Barbie, let's go party!

I'm a blond bimbo girl, in a fantasy world,
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly.
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky.

You can touch, you can play, if you say: «I'm always yours»
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
Ah, Ah, Ah, yea.

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please,
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees.
Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,
hit the town, fool around, let's go party.

The weekend seemed long to me.. don't know why. I was pretty productive, and had fun all the while.

Friday night Walt came over and played Trivial Pursuit with Merima, Krista (neighbor) and me. It was a quiet night in.. and we got ice cream. Ice cream always makes an evening 10 fold better! We discovered how mentally retarded we all are.. although Walt kicked all of our asses (or is it assi - plural?)

Saturday was more of the same low-key activity. I worked out, rode Isabella, then spent the evening writing Christmas cards and wrapping a few presents. Merima and I made a visit to Target where we saw two people fighting in the parking lot and a store employee running in yelling 'Call 911! Call 911!' Ahh, the ghetto is a fun place to be!

Sunday I did some more Christmas shopping and then played pool again later in the evening. For those of you who don't know, I play pool on an average of twice a week or so. But that doesn't matter.. I don't get better! I suck at pool!! I don't know why.. but I've accepted this fact and I'm okay with it! I think it goes back to my tennis days.. where my only goal was to smack it really hard. It worked because I played in tournaments and did fairly well.. but the same doesn't seem to apply at pool. It's all good..

Someone buy me Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo for the Playstation. Kthanx.

Last night, I spent around 3 hours trying to fix my computer. I installed MsnPro, a messenger add-on with cool little smileys and accessories, but in doing so in typical me-style, I installed the version that came along with 50+ spyware programs. Didn't pay enough attention. Well, they added all sorts of casino games and porn pop-ups all over my computer, and every other webpage I visited, huge genitalia would flash up suddenly on my screen! Ack! So I began distinfecting everything with a program called PestPatrol, but that didn't get everything.

So I went back to the website and read the forum. Fortunately I wasn't the only dumb-ass that has done this, and there were instructions on getting your computer back to normal again. Install the program again since I messed with the spyware software, then uninstall. Doh! Easy.

Well, a small blessing in disguise, I got rid of other spyware programs I had with my "free" (heh heh) new anti-virus, anti-spyware software.

On a side note, do not eat Kashi Go-Lean cereal until you want major gastrointestinal disturbances. Both Merima and I fell victim to this cereal yesterday. Approximately 6 hours after ingestion, your intestines will fall into hyper-active speed mode and cause major fast-forward of colonic materials. Use with caution.

Ack! Work rumors that look to be true. Not good news.. Serenity now.. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack! If I had 'roids, they'd be flaring up, if I had an ulcer, I'd be clutching my stomach. Thank GOD I have the money from the townhouse selling. *sigh* This ain't good.

A few days ago, I was watching a news segment on diagnosing prostate cancer. Apparently, there is a brand new technology that is making colon endoscopy obsolete. It's more comfortable and quicker.

I've always wondered about colon endoscopy. To do any sort of endoscopy procedure, you must put air in the area to get a good view of the surrounding tissues on camera. When the tubes are pulled out, is there a massive fart that comes out also? I would think this is more embarrassing than having your colon on screen.

Last night I went to visit Isabella. I anticipated a horrid drive to the barn due to the past rain and early darkness, but the drive went smoothly.

When I arrived, I was amused to see that my grey/white horse had turned into a big brown crusty large creature. Apparently she had a wonderful time rolling around and getting herself as dirty as she could for my arrival. No matter, the arena was completely soggy and wet - unrideable, so I set upon my task of brushing off the caked mud and revealing my white horse once again which was no easy task. Her mane was in large dirt clumps, yet her tail was left unmarred. Her left flank also remained clean, which puzzled me to think of how she could've rolled and left those parts untouched.

After about 40 minutes of scraping, currying, and brushing, I stepped back and admired my work, my lovely (chubby) Arab/Paso Fino mare was a lovely sight to be seen. Her mane and tail were brushed out and looked smooth with the wisps at the end curling slightly in the night breeze. Her fur which was once hardened with slop, was now soft and fuzzy with her dapples shining through. I picked out the mud from her feet and gave her a bucket of beet pulp and all-in-one, a yummy wintertime treat. China and I played for a while until Isabella finished up her bucket and threw it to the side dramatically to indicate she was done.

I cleaned out her bucket and gave my clean fuzzy horse another once over, making sure I didn't miss any big dirt clods on her body. I untied her from the hitching post and led her back to pasture. As I unclipped her halter, she stood for a while, nuzzling me while I gave her poll a good scratch. Once satisfied I didn't have any more treats, she wandered away to finish her dinner. I watched her white figure disappear into the darkness, knowing as soon as I left she'd probably roll and play in the mud again. I called out to her as I alway do, "Be good, Isabella" and walked away smiling, knowing I'd probably repeat the whole thing again on Saturday.

Last night I watched American Psycho with Christian Bale. I didn't think he was particularly hot in the movie - the way the character was portrayed was way too GQ and cut for my tastes, but he looked *quite* hot in the interview afterwards.



Ahh, I needed new daydream material. Yes.. very hot. I love me some dark haired boys. I think I need a cold shower, my hormones are on overdrive.

Last week I decided to sell my Bayer stock and Putnam mutual funds to play the market. I'm young, I'm a bit stupid, so I thought, what the hey?

I looked at a few analyst's reviews of biotechnology/medical stocks (since I know diddly squat about anything else like insurance, oils, etc) and purchased the ones that seemed interesting and had the highest long term estimates.

Today I bought stock from:
Barr Laboratories - a pharmaceutical company which is sole proprietor of a novel vaginal ring drug delivery system.
Forest Laboratories, Inc. - I liked its name and it manufactures drugs that treat depression, hypertension, and constipation-prone irritable bowel syndrome.
Gilead Sciences, Inc. - a stable biotech company, big name.. no funky reason other than the fact its gone up the last 5 years and its expected to increase even further the next 5 years.

So these will be long term investments. Yay, I'm a stock owner!

I feel like a creature crawled inside my body and died! I'm so tired.

Yesterday I was up for 19 hours, beginning at 5am driving back to Berkeley. The drive went smoothly - I sang along with Dido and skanky Jewel to keep myself awake while Mark was conked out in the passenger seat. I tried to sleep when I got home, but instead I just twiddled my thumbs and wandered around the apartment (looking for some ACTION!) Alas, there was none. Then had dinner with Travis and watched Two Towers: Extended edition until about midnight when I finally slept. Getting up this morning wasn't hard, but staying awake is proving to be painful.

Thanksgiving picture 1

Thanksgiving picture 2

Thanksgiving picture 3

Thanksgiving picture 4

If those links don't work, let me know. E-mail me (julienne@insidehermind.com) if you want the link to see all of the Thanksgiving pictures so I can make fun of how bored you are (and give you the link).