This morning I woke up at 8am because my alarm didn't go off.. sometime during the night, the power went out. This seems to be a problem in the apartment complex. No problem.. get dressed, walk China, arrive at work at 8:30 or so. Yay for 5 minute commutes!

Today is one of my coworker's 50th birthdays. I thought I'd be able to get by without breakfast because one of my bosses usually bakes a cake for occassions like this. Unfortunately, no cake. So I'm getting by this morning on 2 cups of coffee.. and all I have in my spare emergency food drawer are these stale Korean cookies (ew), a packet of mayo, and a packet of relish. Hmm.. which one first.. they're all so delectable.

Did you know they are now making peanut butter in a tube? Like toothpaste? Why didn't anyone think of this before? I think this revolutionizes all peanut butter eating. I think I'll stock my new apartment with Skippy Squeeze Stix, powdered non-dairy coffee creamer, and Spam. Anyone want to come over for dinner? :D

Day 8. This is getting tough. But I'm strong like bull, I tell ya.

Late post today!

Ahh.. crazy day so far. I've been running around everywhere and my job now entails new duties since they're transitioning me to the cancer team. So I've been in training while doing my regular lab and computer work.. plus I'm on the biotech newsletter board as well. Geezus almighty I'm stressing out big time.

Remember that movie 40 Days and 40 Nights? That's me. I'm on day 7 now. TEE HEE. This should be interesting.

Yesterday I got my hair colored cheap by a student hairdresser at a really nice salon in Berkeley. She put these dark auburn/red highlights in my hair and returned the rest of my hair to its "natural" color.. a really deep dark chestnut/brown/black. Currently my hair is looong.. about an inch past my bra-line in the back and next Monday she'll probably cut it a few more inches to smooth out the ends.

While walking around my neighborhood yesterday with China, I had to pass by these black dudes loitering in front of this liquor store on Adeline. I had on my ski hat and this huuuge jacket that makes me look like I'm about 300 pounds (it was raining). All my hair was tucked away but one of the dudes yells out, "Hey girly!", trying to get my attention. This pissed me off. For one, what the hell would he want with me. I mean, it got me pretty friggin angry. Doesn't he know I could beat the pulp out of him if I wanted to? Plus, I had China with me.. and if she saw me getting fierce, I'm sure she'd be happy to join in the action. I could kick some serious ass if I wanted to. GRRR.

Monday morning.. I survived this weekend of hell. Just barely. Need. More. Caffeine.

Saturday night was truely the worst night of my life. After going through all day with barely anything to eat, I arrived at the Underworld concert, drank a cosmo (which the flirty bartender made VERY VERY strong), and proceeded to walk along the path towards death. Honestly, I've never felt that bad and after getting an apple into my stomach and some explosive vomitting (in the bathroom, along the side of the dance floor, in the streets of San Francisco), I finally made it home. Thank you Bob AGAIN for helping me. We didn't even see Underworld because I had to leave early.

Then yesterday I had to move all my stuff to Berkeley and of course, it began raining on my last load.. which included my mattress/bed. Merima and Mark worked their asses off to get everything unloaded (thank you guys, too - words cannot express how appreciate I am to you guys) and then Bob helped put everything back together and set up the cable TV and internet connection.

Jon! I must apologize to you.. my cable internet sucks worse than ass. Another source of stress.. it took me about 5 minutes to load up a simple web page last night so I couldn't get on to say hello. I can't even check my hotmail e-mails because the page takes too long to load and times out. *sigh* So, I'm going to cancel my cable and just getting DSL. Screw it all! I have a need for speed. *rawr* I'm such a nerd.

So if you need to contact me, you can e-mail me at: waters@horsemail.com I can actually access this email from work unlike hotmail and yahoo which are blocked. Mkay? :)

Argh, this weekend was so stressful. I hate imposing upon people.. so I have my deepest gratitude for everyone that helped. Thank you so much!

Note to self: Bathroom at home is not like bathroom at work. Must not start unzipping pants before entering the bathroom at work.

I just bought a tea kettle, a really nice knife set (Wusthof!) and the new Kelly Clarkston CD (teehee) from Amazon. Yay!

Julienne
~ Julia ~
(Latin)


~ meaning ~
Youthful


~ motivation ~
Has a sense of adventure


~ character ~
Considerate at all times


~ feelings ~
Enjoys giving and receiving affection


~ intelligence ~
Not easily deluded


~ spiritual ~
Has hope and trust


~ nature ~
Respects other people's space


~ inherent ~
You are aware of your surroundings

It's funny, as I'm sitting here trying to find something interesting to write, my life seems so boring. Yet in reality, it's been absolutely crazy and stressful. I'm trying to compile furniture together to look at least halfway decent in my new apartment, wondering where I'm going to get all that money from, trying to get a part-time roommate, switching over bills to my old roommates, unpacking boxes and setting up furniture.

Meanwhile, I weighed myself this morning and I lost 1/2 a pound from two weeks ago. ARGH!!! I try not to weigh myself often because usually I get much more self-destructive if I don't like what I see. And today I didn't like what I saw. No more late night eating. I'm craving pizza, is it lunchtime yet? Haha, I'm fucked up.

I've noticed I've been cussing much more often in these recent posts.

Hmm.. I suppose I should write something today, eh?

Well, today's commute took almost 2 hours. Lets break it down, folks. 120 minutes / 22 miles = 5 1/2 minutes per mile. That sucked. Traffic was pretty much at a standstill the whole way because there was a 9 car accident through the tunnel, then 2 stalls on the way to the tunnel. I missed my 8:30 meeting because I got in at around 9:15. I believe today was the worst commute I've ever had in my 3 1/2 years from Walnut Creek to Berkeley. 2 days before I move into my new place. WHY GOD WHY??!

I might get a commuter roommate.. someone who spends 2-3 nights a week to move into the new apartment. This way it'll help out with bills until the Merima woman moves in. The extra cash will also help because I'm thinking about getting a dog walking service for China sometime in the mid-day so she doesn't go nuts and I don't have to drive home everyday for lunch.

This Saturday I'm going to Underworld at the Fillmore! *insert girly scream here* It's probably not the best decision because I have to move early morning the next day.. but hell, I love Underworld. Plus Dirty Vegas will be playing. Look at the venue pictures. It looks pretty goshdarnfriggin cool.. FUCK YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cannot wait.

Do you realize if you did this full time you'd make $80K/year?

Last night I painted my fingernails green. I was going through random boxes, consolodating miscellaneous treasures I've accumulated throughout the years, and found one lone green fingernail polish. It was my simple pleasure for the day, hooray!

My new apartment manager yesterday called and said my unit was being cleaned today (ha, I said unit). So tonight after work I'm heading over there with a truckful of my grandmother's paintings and unpacking the dozen or so boxes that I've already moved. Then later watching "Anger Management" with a few people. Saturday morning I may wander around a few garage sales to pick up some furniture. I still need a coffee table, kitchen cart, microwave, a cookware set, knife set (I'm itching for the Miracle Blade 3 ULTRA), and one more area rug.

Also, in my quest to avoid IKEA at all costs, I went to Target last night and picked up a bunch of housekeeping items. Merima is convinced I need to go.. ACK!! Please no.. IKEA is the devil!

Midnight - You are a deep thinker, always searching
for answers and never quite at home. You are
very contemplative, and enjoy being alone with
your thoughts.


When are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I've had this song stuck in my head from yesterday:

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Did I mention that I can't wait until I move? I'm so sick of living with roommates.. sure, they could be much worse, but when I get home I just want peace and solitude, not 1/2 a dozen boys raiding the fridge while I'm trying to get my dinner. I'm neurotic enough as it is when I'm making my food, I don't need people there watching me, argh! Serenity now... only 5 more days.

China got up to go diarrhea in the middle of the night as well. I think my roommate's guests have been feeding her crap to upset her stomach. 5 more days.. sigh.

As much as I hate to go to Ikea, I think I may have to venture over there to purchase some general household supplies. I am dreading it. The hoardes and masses of people walking slowly, rocking back and forth from leg to leg as they walk through the show rooms drives me mad. MOVE PEOPLE!! MOVE!!

Sorry, I sound a bit stressed about moving. I'm just going to need a massage after all this is over..

Ahhh so sleepy and tired. Coffee is my friend, my dear precious friend.. my precious.. yes..

Weekend update!

Saturday evening I went to see a movie at the Chabot Space and Science Center. Saturn, The True Lord of the Rings was playing and I organized a group of people to go watch. The movie itself was pretty interesting and fun. I don't think I've absorbed any sort of knowledge since college so my brain was stimulated a bit. The same night at the science center, there was some sort of odd Star Trek convention going on so while we were waiting for everyone to show up, a bunch of Klingons, Vulcans, and Star Trek officers would wander slowly through the doors. It was a little surreal. The highlight of my evening was watching a Klingon lead a costumed tiger through the doors through a leash then having all the other Klingons who were already inside rush over and declare they were going to eat the tiger. Hm.

The rest of the weekend was pretty mellow. I rode Isabella both days.. have I mentioned how beautiful she is lately? Her winter fur is almost all shed out and she's almost completely white now with her black mane and tail. Absolutely gorgeous. I rode pretty hard and fast yesterday bareback out on the trail.. and today I'm hurting. Towards the end of the ride, she kept wanting to go.. mommy can't keep up. Mommy is too old and decrepit.

Yesterday I watched "Bulletproof Monk" which was pretty fun. Who knew Seann William Scott was SO FUCKING HOT!?!?!?!?!? GODAAAMNN I SAY GODDAMMNNN!!!!!!!!!



*rawr*

At one point in the movie they show him doing kung fu moves in his t-shirt with cutoff sleeves. I didn't even notice how cheezy it was because his upper arms were so delish.. if I were a gay boy I would've jizzed in my pants. Biceps on guys are equivalent to me as boobs on women probably are to guys.

(It's probably a good thing I never saw "Dude, Where's My Car" or remember "American Pie"

Had so much fun last night! Went with Merima and a bunch of friends to dinner, drinks.. then this little hole in the wall club in downtown Oakland called Oasis. Good music! We were all being silly and watching everyone was so funny.. it's interesting to see how people's personalities change with a little alcohol. It's a great group of friends though.. everyone takes care of themselves and watches out for each other as well. Merima decided she wanted to embarass me by approaching a guy I thought was cute and telling him I wanted to make out with him.. hahahaaaa!! For some reason in my buzzed state I told her it was okay. Then I shook my head a few times.. wait! nooooooooooooo....!! Talked to him later and found out he was only 20. Tee hee. No making out.

Right now my truck is parked out in front of the house and I'm moving a dozen or so boxes plus assorted pieces of furniture over to the new place. Yay!

Why were the little strawberries so upset?



Because they were in a jam.

Comments, questions, suggestions?

"Only when we are in love have we blind faith in humantiy; everything is perfect, everything is beautiful, and ... everything is so poetically unreal. Still, it is a wonderful experience; worth going through, notwithstanding the terrible disappointments that usually follow. It puts us on a level with the gods and incites us to all sorts of artistic activities. We become real poets; we not only memorize and quote poetry, but we often become Apollos ourselves." -Victor Hugo


GAH!

Woke up late this morning.. I vaguely recall waking up to pee then adjusting something on my alarm clock. I must've turned it off somehow. Rushrushrush hurry out the door.. must get to meeting at 9am. Left the house at 8:10 and it takes 40+ minutes to drive to work. Sleepy.. very tired. I was relaxed through my presentation and it went fairly well. Guzzled down coffee which isn't helping at all.. still very tired.

I was so rushed this morning I didn't get my gym bag.. so tonight I'll hike with China again. I'm sure she won't mind. Happy birthday Merima!

For your amusement:

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa.

Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America.

Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, she is like India.

Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France.

Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia.

Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia.

Very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia.

A glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.

After 70, they become like Afghanistan.

Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.



THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 15 and 70, a man is like Iraq.

Ruled by a dick.

Lots going on in life at the moment.. I'm trying to figure stuff out. Wondering what my priorities should be. But I'm getting by..

I scored 46½% on the classic 400 Point Purity Test!

Take the test here!

Thanks for visiting for my weekend update.. brought to you by, Spam - delicious Spam.

Friday evening I went on a date for the first time in a while. A mutual friend set us up and I had a pleasant time, the conversation flowed easily, the dinner was yummy. However, I didn't really feel any chemistry between us. I was telling another friend of mine about him and she seems to be interested, so I'm hoping they can get together. Afterwards we went to Blake's in Berkeley to meet up with more people and to see Zoostation and Stung (U2 and Police cover bands). I dared Merima to approach a random guy and say, "Buy me a beer, bitch", and with a little alcohol (ok, a lot) in her system, she was successful in her endevour (came back with a cosmo!), much to the delightfulness of me! hee hee.. I love that girl!

Saturday, a few friends and I went to the Stinking Rose in North Beach. Yummm, me loves garlic, however I was too full to eat the garlic ice cream which is why I went there in the first place. Poo! Afterwards we went to Chi Chi's, a dance club down the street. Talk about a pretencious stuck up crowd. The vibe was bizarre in there.. I didn't want to dance so I just sat in my corner and observed. All the girls were skinnier than me (most were size 0-1's) and danced odd. They would go through the dancing motions, with one eye on the girls around them (to make sure they were prettier), and another eye on the guys along the wall to make sure they were being stared at. There was a guy standing close to me who I observed getting shot down by 3 different girls he approached (all were dancing very provocatively), all within the span of 10 minutes. I was not having fun.. so we went to a friend of a friend's house party in Berkeley. The crowd there was completely different.. more mellow and relaxed, even saw a few cute boys. We sat around talking and hanging out until 3:30am before we headed home.

Sunday went shopping with Merima at Sun Valley.. we both bought cute outfits for cheap! (I bought an $80 dress from Express for $30, and some undies, yay!)

And that is all I'm going to reveal to protect the innocent... muhahahhahahaha!

You are worth exactly: $1,757,140.00.

Play MASH online! Remember that game? That was an awesome game.

Here are my results:
You will live in Shack.
You will drive a white Yugo.
You will marry Mark (my brother) and have 3 kids.
You will be a suppository tester in Buttfucksville

Awww yeah..

As I'm losing weight, I'm getting more and more paranoid that my ass is getting flatter. This isn't supposed to happen!! ARGH. Okay. I need to lose 25 more pounds. Tummy, thighs, arms need to go. Not my ass. My gluts are sore from my hike on Wednesday.. that means I'm burning more fat on my ass... NOOOOOOOOOOO........ butt, don't leave me now! Must stop clenching butt muscles.. must not burn ass fat.

Yesterday I was able to come home from work early so I bypassed the lease signing until today. It was a lovely warm day so I grabbed China and headed out onto the trails to hike for a bit. I hate carrying any sort of crap when I'm hiking, so I slipped my tennis ball-sized wad of keys onto China's collar for her to tote around. She would look down at this huge new weight hanging from her neck for the first 10 or so minutes and try to lick my automatic door opener to my truck. Eventually she became distracted by squirrels and quail and left it alone.

However, it was quite amusing when she'd run off into the hills after some small animal... "Yay! There goes all of my keys!" (I hope she comes back or I'm screeewed)

So I'm going to hang off on finding a roommate until July/August when Merima might move in with me! That is quite awesome as we can stand each other for hours at a time and we're already friends. Yipee! Tonight I ride again.. Friday and Saturday nights, party in the city.. it's gonna be fun. :)

I sign my lease for the apartment tonight. Way waaaaaaaaaay excited. I'm contemplating trying on making the rent on my own.. that might mean either finding an additional source of income to live comfortably, or just get by through living frugally. Decisions, decisions.

Last night I had a lovely ride on Isabella alone. I love the time change.. longer days mean I can ride out further during weeday evenings. There's nothing quite like riding out in the hills by yourself bareback, with your horse's ears perked at a lively trot. Except maybe a shorn scrotum.. It's breathtaking really, I suggest you try it!

Nothing too exciting happening so I thought I'd write a little about dating.

Dating turns us into freaks! I think its interesting how people completely change personalities when dating. This is especially shown in the beginning of the movie, 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days', when Kate Hudson's coworker in the movie turns into this neurotic freak, spraying her perfume onto the pillow of the man she's just beginning to date. She also sleeps with him in the first week, tells him he loves her, etc. BAH!!

Geezus, I'm unimpressed with this entry, it sounds like I'm trying to write a school essay. I guess my point is.. when you meet someone with the prospective thoughts of romance on the mind, the person who you get to know initially may not exhibit their *real* personality. Dating spurs a lot of deep seated insecurities in people which in turn makes people exhibit actions that are atypical. So how do we get past these insecurities and be normal and sane, showing our real true selves?

Well, speaking for me, right now at this moment, this is my conclusion.

no internet dating. Meeting a complete stranger in an uncomfortable environment (read, not at home, but somewhere outside around people that is "safe") for a possible romantic involvement breeds too much pressure. I act like a complete frigid boring idiot.

have friends set you up. Most likely they'll know both you and the other person and if you trust their judgement, they'll have some inkling of an idea of your personalities are compatible. Plus they can act like your medium, "Dude, she doesn't like you, move on".

don't look. Keep in mind this is me.. 6 months ago I was ACHING/NEEDING someone to be with. I needed a boyfriend asap. The guys I was dating back then probably feasted on that desperation which aided me into a downward spiral. Now, I'm out there, but I'm tired of putting my hand on the chopping block.. hence, no more reaching out for me. If someone wants me, I would hope they would put forth the effort and I'll respond in kind.

keep yourself occupied. Make friends, have fun with them.. enjoy what you have and feel thankful! Life doesn't have to revolve around having a significant other such as Hollywood and the media portrays.

no expectations. This is the toughest one, the key to the *transformation* into the dating demon.. this can make it or break it as far as keeping everything low key while maintaining your sanity, or stirring up the craziness inside which we are all capable of.

Again, a few months back I would have scoffed at what I just wrote, but I feel like I'm at this stage right now. I wouldn't be opposed to meeting anyone right now.. but I'm a little wary right now of the possibility that I may take steps backwards if I do. So I'm going to try to go with the flow, ride the wave.

Hmm... I *do* have a queen sized futon.. tempting.. tempting..

free enneagram test

At this very moment, I am sitting at my desk and construction workers are banging on the ceiling something fierce. It's scaring the crap out of me because it sounds like they're going to fall through the ceiling at any moment.

This weekend seemed long to me. I didn't go out Friday or Saturday nights because I am an old person and was very tired. However, Saturday I went to Santa Cruz to visit the Mystery Spot with Merima and her boyfriend Jon. I got quite car sick on the drive up and doubly car sick on the drive back down (puked at a gas station on the way back) so Saturday evening I was pooped.

Yesterday I went for a nice long ride on Isabella and later on that evening saw Spirited Away. The director of this anime movie was the same as Princess Mononoke. Comparatively, I liked Princess Mononoke better, but both movies were quite good. I love watching new storylines, ones you don't normally see or experience in typical Hollywood films, and you get to see quite a few novel characters (ghosts, spirits, mythical creatures) in this movie. I enjoyed it quite muchly.

Oh, and the greatest news of all! I found an apartment. It's a cute (read, small) 2 bedroom apartment in Berkeley. Here are some photos of the place.. the rent is $1150 so eventually I'll probably find a roommate. I'd like to find a student or someone that works a different schedule as me so they could walk China when I'm not around. Preferably a nice hot buff male student who will parade around in his skivies and do all the chores. Maybe I should make that a prerequisite when I post the ad for a roomie.

Must be hot, smell yummy, and willing to do chores half-naked. No complaining. Stay quiet in room when not working. Pay rent on time and cook me food occassionally.

Argh, all this pounding on the ceiling makes me want to kick someone in the ear.

Confucious say....

Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on desk.

Man walking sideways through airport security is going to bangkok.

Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.

Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.

Baseball all wrong -- man with four balls cannot walk.

I'm definitely getting a little more stressed out about finding a place. I think I want to live in Berkeley.. so I'm looking for an affordable, non-ghetto studio for less than $1000 (which seems to be an impossibility these days with a dog). I'm going to cancel my membership at the gym (my job will supposedly be transfered to a city/state that is 100+ miles away from the nearest chain) and eventually I think I'll move Isabella down to a barn in Oakland.

So that's the plan.

Backup plan is to rent a 2 bedroom and find a roommate. Yarg, I want to pull my hair out. No bosses in today so I think I shall leave early and see Isabella.

Happy Birthday Mark! Woohoo! 19 years old!!

2 more places to look at today. The first is in Berkeley, 1 mile from work, situated in between a bunch of friends, far from Isabella and my gym, on Martin Luther King Blvd which is a pretty busy street, but close to the UC Berkeley and Shattuck which is filled with cute shops. If I chose this studio, it would be the most ghetto I've ever lived. I think that its pretty safe as far as Berkeley goes, but I've never lived "in the city" like this before, so it would be a new life experience for me.

The second place is located in Orinda, an upscale neighborhood on the other side of the tunnel from Berkeley. Intermediate location between work and Isabella/gym, slightly cheaper rent, and China would have another dog to play with. I haven't seen it yet so the only downside would be if it were too small for all my crap. I'll keep ya posted.

I've had the chance to parallel park my beast of a truck 2 times within the past few days. Each time I do it, I have an audience that stops to look at the little asian chick attempting to fit her land yacht in a small set space. It's quite amusing and I get a huge kick out of it. Tuesday night I was parallel parking in front of the Barnes and Noble in Walnut Creek, right in front of the huge picture window. My diesel got the attention of a bunch of people inside who were reading/browsing through periodicals and I deftly maneuvered my vehicle in front of the skeptical crowd. As I slid into the spot flawlessly I yelled, "A-HA!!! You suck, I ROCK!!!" Never doubt the parallel parking mastah, yeah yeah yeah!

I went and saw 2 places last night.. both in Lafayette, both no go. Eeek. This is going to be more stressful than I thought

Another fun pool update.

My roommates and I have decided that our pool has been the source of the SARs epidemic. We're not sick because we've developed immunity to SARs as well as AIDs, herpes, influenza, and cancer. We are superhuman mutants, yes! Yay for our pool!

Oh yeah, and the previously though 4 mosquito bites are more like 15 of them. They're all over my back. Maybe they're actually pods of mutant babies.. and I was impregnanted by the pool.

Ya know, just looking into the pool in this picture gives me the heebie geebies.

Last night I gave my 30 day notice to my landlord. Soo... I'm officially moving out of Walnut Creek. The commute sucks and is wearing on my nerves. I'm keeping Isabella where she is (all my friends are there and she loves it) and I'll be looking for a studio/1 bedroom or to share a 2 bedroom with someone low key in Lafayette or Orinda, halfway in between Berkeley and Walnut Creek. My gym membership is also in Walnut Creek so I can't go very far anywho.

Anyone want to help me move? I'll give you free pizza and BJs!!

I'll be looking at 2 places tonight. Unfortunately there aren't many vacancies in these cities so I'm having a rough time looking.

It'll be nice to have a place set up for me long term. I haven't really felt at home at the current place I've been -- I still have boxes that are sitting in my bedroom closet that I've never bothered to unpack. Moving will be expensive, but in the long run I think I'll be saving money with gas being cheaper (right now I spent $50/week on gas) and a shorter commute.

Oh yeah, I'm pregnant and I'm quitting my job to join the Navy.