Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

This is an improvement from the last time I took this test..

The following quiz has absolutely no purpose whatsoever but its a cool picture. :P


You're a 50's corset. You'll poke someone's eye
out with those babies.


What corset are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ahh yes, I am back.. and there's soooo much to post about.

Last week was relaxing. It was nice to be in a safe home environment and not have to worry too much about what's going on in my job. However, I got into work this morning and found that 5 more people had jumped ship. Not good. The only consolation I gave myself was that I didn't have a pink slip in my mailbox when I walked in.

I enjoyed spending time with my family last week.. but I've learned 3 days is about the max I can spend submerged in any of my family's company. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death and would sooner experience death by razor and lime juice than have them experience any sort of pain.. but after spending 3 full days with my mom, I needed a break. Thursday we went to Melrose Ave to shop and you just can't go into a store named 'Retail Slut' with your mom intending to try on or buy ANYTHING. As soon as we walked into the store, my mom whispers, "Julienne, this is a baaad place" as she eyed the body jewelry and bondage fetish equipment on the walls. On a brighter note, I did buy two really cute tops (not from Retail Slut).

After we got home, I high-tailed it out to watch a movie by myself. I needed SPAAAACE!! So I went to a nearby AMC theater to spend a birthday gift certificate which Chris (dewd friend from Berkeley) gave to me and saw "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". This made me feel bitter about dating. Not only because I didn't have a guy, but because it got me thinking about how much Hollywood glorifies dating and finding a guy. The key to happiness in your life is being swept away by a handsome stud who falls deeply in love with you.. without even really knowing who you are! YARG.

On Saturday night after I had returned up north, a few friends and I went to Club Bas to listen and dance to some Russian house DJs. The crowd was lively and plentiful.. DJs were incredibly good. The place was filled with European and Russian guys.. so the place was pretty BO'tiful.. but hey, eye candy was everywhere so I wasn't complaining. A guy friend of mine that night came up to me and told me that whoever I end up will be a very lucky person.. he said I was smart, fun, good sense of music and style.. and pretty. I told him to go back to whatever planet he was orbiting.. but his comments made me smile.

Yesterday was Six Flag's Marineworld! I organized a group trip for my friend's social group because I had discount tickets to the amusement park. It was quite funny how people were so gung-ho about experiencing all of the roller coasters and rides.. however, after we went on the first ride, Medusa, quite a few people got quite ill and sat the rest of the day out (aside from water rides and animal attractions). Then one of the girls in our group got stung by a bee at one of the water rides. After I threw up the strawberry drink I had after the first roller coaster, I was fine and dandy. We stayed until about dusk when the mosquitoes came out in full force and began eating us alive. I proudly bragged that mosquitoes don't usually bite me )when in actuality I have some sort of sugar hybrid blood chemistry running through my veins) hoping that I would stay immune. Mind over matter. When I got home I found about 4 bites on my back. :( So now I must itch. Furiously.

Back to work! *sigh* I missed my non-dairy powdered coffee creamer.

Today I spent the whole day at Glen Ivy Hot Springs with my mom. Ahhhh.. sooo.. relaxing. The place had changed quite a bit since I had been there last a few years ago. For $25 you had access to mineral pools, a clay pool, pools to sit in floaty thingies, saunas, steam baths, and all the spa lotion you can slather on your body. soverynice.

A few funny anecdotes.

My mom and I were showering in this gazebo with a bunch of other people and I had my eyes closed because I was washing clay off my face. Suddenly I feel someone rubbing my shoulders, scrubbing the clay from my skin.. so I say, "Mom, that *better* be you!" My mom starts giggling then the 4 other people in the gazebo showering start laughing their heads off. I'm thinking to myself, 'southern california people must not get out much because it really wasn't that funny'.

Next, I was coming out of the sauna and for some reason I am looking at my mom's bikini line (don't worry, she was wearing a one-piece). Dude, looked like there was a tarantula about to attack. I told my mom to trim that sucka and I hope to God she doesn't read this because she will maim me. But geezus, let this be a public service anouncement to everyone out there. Trim those privates if you're going out in public!

I'm down in LA at the moment. Last night I gathered my brother, his friend, Merima, and China and high-tailed it down south. Driving was a bit tough since we left at around 7:45pm or so. Around 12:30am I began getting very tired through the Grapevine, even with lively conversation going around and China's bad breath on my cheek. We stopped at a McDonald's where my brother asked for a cup for water and stole lemonade instead and I was energized after a cup of coffee.

My sister and I were at the tire dealerships today and we had a conversation about butt smells which fascinated me. There weren't many seats left and I wanted to sit in her lap. She told me I could as long as my butt didn't smell. I knew peoples' butts smelled, but ya know, I never really had that problem. I asked where were butt smells originated from and out came this fascinating discussion about how butts sweat and how the hairs on the butt hold the butt sweat stank in. Also, non-sufficient wipeage may lead to butt smell as well. Fascinating. I missed my family.

How evil are you?


Red/Green/Blue:
To you, the world is logical. Everything happens
for a reason, life is scientific. You like to
find solutions. I doubt you needed to take this
quiz in order to realize this.


What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oo... my hair is officially past my bra line. Longer than its ever been! I saw this girl in the company cafeteria yesterday that had beautiful thick permed hair down almost to her waist. It made me consider getting a perm.. but I kind of like the layers I have right now. Long layers.. and having it straight gives me the flexibility to curl it if I want. So I dunno.

I love my new down feather comforter and pillows.. it's soooo delish. At night I'm surrounded by luxurious soft sheets inside my cozy nest of a bed.. ahhh.. so loverly..

Despite everything that is going on this week, I am *happy today*

Sore from bags and gloves class Wednesday night. Instructor is HOT. I like punching and kicking things. We were doing these cartwheel side-kick things that were pretty fun. Watch out, my side-kick will take you ouT!!! I think I'd be a pretty good boxer.

Penis Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labor
* I work at great depths
* I am always using my head first
* I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays
* I work in a damp environment
* I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
* I work in high temperatures
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Response from Human Resources

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

* You do not work 8 hours straight
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team
* You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit other areas
* You take a lot of non-rostered breaks
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
* You don't always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits
* You don't like working double shifts
* You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed your work
* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags!

I feel so anxious at work.. here's a blog from a guy writing and living in Baghdad. Just 15 minutes ago Yahoo news reported that US missiles just hit government buildings in Baghdad for the second time.

Finally did my taxes last night and I'm coming out even again as far as my federal (owe $121) and state (refund $90) goes. Darn. Why can't I get money back like everyone else?? *grrrrr*

Ok, here's my little schpeel/opinion about the war. Just skip this part if you're tired of reading about it everywhere.

I still feel like I don't understand it. I heard Dubya's speach 3 days ago. He sounded like a big fat money/oil greedy bully. One of the points that struck me during his speech was his statement of the lack of mercy he was going to endow upon Iraqi soldiers that surrendered or were captured. He said that simply 'doing what was told' was not going to appease any sort of punishment they would encounter on our side. Then you hear about the horrible things that happen on Saddam's side to any sort of defectors... people getting murdered by his supporters by being put through shredders, etc. What can you do. You're fucked either way.

My heart goes out to the soldiers on the front lines, American or otherwise. Newsreporters last night were talking to some of the American soldiers about what was going on and some of them had no clue about the big picture. They were simply being told to wait for orders from their superiors. My heart goes out to them. I pray that God will look safely after our friends and family that are being put out there.

I just don't understand. We're fighting for our freedom? From where I'm standing it seems we're fighting for our gas and oil prices. Dubya says we're fighting for the "greater good", fighting for the opressed people under the dictatorship of Saddam. I'm not sure when we were invited.. or what gives us to right to impose our ideals upon another country when our own is in a state of turmoil with the recession and lack of education and health care support. Is it our duty to save that booty? (sorry, I had to add that in there)

Oh well. Those are my simple, uneducated opinions on what's going on. I know I need to become better informed, but it's difficult to find an unbiased source of news these days.. whenever I read anything about what's going on, it usually leans heavily towards one side or another and I stop reading in disgust. Propoganda still lives strongly in our government and media.

Take a peek at this ingenious ebay'er. She takes very good pictures of her fishing reels.

Need... quiz.. fix... had...to...search...for...quizzes...to...take


Which OS are You?


See what drug you are.

Yesterday evening, I found that my friend Sharon had to put her horse Thunder down. Words cannot express how horribly sad I was.. I probably wasn't much help when I heard the news.. I immediately called her up (crying) :( and did my best attempt at trying to console her. I wanted to meet her back at the barn from the emergency hospital, but she said she'd rather just be alone.

So I went to eat 50 cent tacos and got drunk off of $3 margaritas with a group of people. Good times. Alcohol numbs emotions.

I have the biggest pimple festering right now on my lower left cheek. I picked at it all afternoon yesterday and when my coworker saw it he asked if it had any teeth or hair growing in it. I told him, no.. but it did communicate to me that it wanted to lick him. Or perhaps just a taste.

<---- revised my cam pictures. I took some of the boring ones of me down and put some more recent pictures up that were more flattering.. such as me picking my nose, making faces, etc. Yes, boys and girls, I do take requests.. as long as it guarantees that no guy will ever want to date me after viewing them. :)

In these perilous times on the brink of war and bioterrorism, be prepared.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost.
-FOTR, Tolkein

I love that quote.. Several more night's reading, and I should be done with the book.

I'm safe in my little life sphere. No rejection or disappointment with those that I allow into my sphere.. only when I venture outside my safety zones will there be that risk. Unknown repercussions lead to self-destructive behavior.

Last night was fun, Merima and I went to this Irish pub in Berkeley. There were people doing lord-of-the-dance dancing, moving as if their legs were detached from their bodies. We went with Diana's social group and there was this one guy who would suddenly get the urge to dance and run up in front of everyone and do his best imitation of the actual dancers that knew what they were doing. Quite humorous. He either had very big balls or was very very drunk. My guess is the latter.

L33t-5p34K G3n3r@t0r v3r510N 0.6

1 @m T3|-| l33te5t OF j00 @Ll!

Here are the long awaited pictures of The Pool. Experience the horrific nastiness for yourself.. know that there are swarms of mosquito larvae teaming under the surface of the algae-ridden, potato shodden water.

A nice length view of The Pool



Closeup of the stairs inside the pool. Note, you cannot see the second step.



There could be a dead body in there, and we'd never know.



A random puddle of water formed into a penis shape I had to take a picture of.

Update on The Pool:

This weekend roommate and I looked inside The Pool. "Hey, we have tadpoles!" roommate said. "Oh?" I said, as I walked over to peer over the edge. No. They were not tadpoles. They were thousands upon millions of mosquito larvae. I must get out. I must get out before mosquitoes hatch and cover me with mosquito bites. I must get out before I get West Nile or malaria or Yellow Fever and die. God help me, I MUST GET OUT!

That is all.

Hmph. I am going insane. I think I shall bury myself into Quake3 Excessive CTF world again and re-invent myself as 1337 player master defense playa. My friend asked me if I wanted to start up another clan again and I told him yes.. this would mean I play more Q3. Only guys on computer here so I am safe. No crazy stalker wierdo, only geeky gamer loner chick again. Yes, this I must do.

Happy St. Patrick's day to ya'll, laddies. For the occassion, I shall make my homepage greeeeen!



Weekend update, oh boy oh boy!

Friday: Went to Ireland 32's in the city with a group of friends. My friend Amit knew of a band playing there called 'Stung', a cover band of the Police

Saturday: Went to Polly Esther's, an 80s dance club in the city with Merima and a group of other girls. I drank a watered down Cosmo and a Sex on the Beach and I was pretty much plastered for the rest of the night. I was incredibly tired because my friend Sharon had woken me up at 10am in the morning to go riding.. so lack of sleep and alcohol had me lying down, napping on the couch in this club. I did get up a few times to dance.. although there were a lot of creepy nasty foul guys there rubbing themselves up on random girls. I had one guy drooling/rubbing all over me which was just vomit-inducing.. I later saw him mesmerized by a girl's crotch (she was dancing up on a platform). Good times.

Sunday: Watched Amelie which was so incredibly cute and reminded me of Merima! However, I was interrupted halfway through by a call from Andrea. Our friend Sharon has been having a rough time with her horse Thunder. She's had this horse for 14 years.. he's her baby and they're completely devoted to one another. Last week they found a mass in his abdominal cavity and he was scheduled for surgery this Wednesday. For the past two weeks he's been losing weight incredibly fast and has been looking like he aged 10 years. On Sunday he came down with colic symptoms and was spiking a fever of 103. Sharon was understandably deeply distraught and with limited funds, she's going through much stress as to what to do.. so the emergency vet came out last night. I spent most of the late afternoon and evening out there with her for moral support.. she held up much better than I would've. So, please keep Thunder in your prayers! His scheduled surgery is now being postponed.. although he will probably still need to have surgery of some sort. Andrea and I don't think this is looking very hopeful at this point.. but animals are amazing creatures and never cease to give us hope when times look bleak like this.

Tonight I celebrate leprechauns and shamrocks with friends in Berkeley.

Happy St. Patty's day to ya'll noggins. Be green and merry!

I was sooo friggin annoyed today. Hence, a good excuse to make a list.

Why I was annoyed:

I HATED the shirt I was wearing. It pulls at my neck and gives me shoulder pain, however, I kept it in my closet because I thought I'd wear it again someday. Why, God, why did I choose this shirt when I have 10 other perfectly good shirts that don't stress me out!?

The fact that I have to go into the pharmacy *every single month* to get my birth control refills. Why can't they give me 3 months at a time like normal prescription services?

Traffic going into work. On a Friday. GRRRR.

My hair. It's frooey because of the rain and I hate it!!!

I didn't bring a jacket and I got rained on my way to work. Geezus, it was sunny and warm when I left my house this morning!!

Looking at my naked wrist, knowing my lost watch is supposed to be there.


What I did to relieve my annoyance:

I have a cat-hair covered sweater at work which I changed into. Express shirt is now in the trash. Ahhhhh relief. In fact, this makes up for all the other things I'm annoyed at.

I went into the break room and ate some non-dairy powdered coffee creamer with my coworker.

Made a list, because lists are fun.

Remembered that I wore deoderant today, yay!

Okay, maybe its not so bad (especially now that I've changed shirts). I'm okay. Life will go on and I didn't forget deoderant today.

Gah!! Forgot to wear deoderant today.

So last night I had the choice for pizza/beer/movie at the Parkway Theatre in Oakland or working out. Hmm.. yeah, tough choice there. I went with a bunch of people go to see "About Schmidt" and I was impressed. Now I had been hearing that Kathy Bates appears naked in this movie, and to be honest, that was the reason why I wanted to see it. Being the consumate female that I am, I always enjoy looking at chubby naked women and comparing my body to theirs. So I wasn't disappointed, you see the length of her naked flesh from a side-shot, and also several shots of her saggy big boobies. I can't say that it turned me on so much.. but it was fascinating and I couldn't stop looking.. you know, the way you can't stop looking at a bloody animal carcass on the side of the road. It was horrifying, yet unexplainably intriguing.

The rest of the movie was good. It got me thinking about the wierd people we encounter in life.. Many times I have talked to people I encounter in my life and the whole time I am listening to them speak I am thinking to myself, "Self, is this normal? Is this how people really are?" But then again, what is normal? Is it telling a person you just met all about your sex life and how horny you are? Is it finding a pen pal through a third world child protection agency and writing about how much you hate your wife? Is that normal? Am I normal? What the heck is going on? Where am I? Bah, people are so strange.

Anyhoo, Jack Nicholson was amazing. He's able to convey such depth of emotions through a few facial expressions and you really can feel and relate what his character is going through. Sad sad movie.. yet funny. If we can't laugh at our shortcomings, what can we do?

Someday I'd like to marry a man with a balding mullet and a fumanchu mustache.

Today at 11 we have a site meeting to find out what is going on with the company. Most likely there will be layoffs.. so we "officially" find out what the damage will be.

Oh yeah, I won the bidding for the Swiss Army watch, woohoo! :)

I am so incredibly unmotivated at work these days. The company I work for has been in "re-organization" for a year now and there has been serious talk about possible massive layoffs. Tomorrow the VP is supposed to have a "big" announcement as to the decision that has been made about our department. Latest rumors (from the director) say that we're going to stay on for another 3 years, but we're unsure of where our funding will be coming from. This was a bit of a bummer, I mean.. it's great I'm not going to be laid off, but I was looking forward to having some sort of change in my life.

I'm applying for a forensic scientist job in Concord. Not sure if I'll get it or not.. I mean, I have more than enough lab experience for the job, but I didn't get my degree in forensics.. so it's a little doubtful as to whether I'll get it or not. However, at least its a goal to aspire for. The pay cut will be drastic. Right now I make pretty decent money.. enough to live in a nice place, afford my horse, and pretty much buy whatever I want. But when I feel the quality of my work right now isn't doing much good without any reward, what's the use?

Procrastination is my middle name. I've examined every inch of my face in my little hand mirror at my desk. It kind of sucks because I don't have any blackheads to pick at (gross, eh). At least if I had them, I'd be able to do something productive in my procrastination. I bid on ebay auctions, read/comment on people's journals, write in my own journal, and cruise through craiglist.

I'm really looking forward to going home in 2 weeks. Mom has the week off so we'll be able to do stuff together.. go to Glen Ivy, eat good food, go shopping. I've also planned trips with friends to Hawaii (October) and New Orleans (August).. woohoo!

I swear I'm going crazy!!

In the past two days my really nice Express sunglasses and my Fossil watch have gone missing. I told my roommate this morning and he asks, "Have you been smoking pot?" Uh.. NO. Anyways. I'm sad sad sad. I have a feeling my watch might have fallen off while I was riding Isabella last night. No clue about my sunglasses. Anyways. I'm bidding on this watch on ebay. Please watch it for me and tell me if someone outbids me. My ID is: jsrha. Email me immediately if they do: harleyrider at horsemail dot com. (the only personal email I can check through work) Thanks! *muah*

Oh! I just remembered a dream I had last night! On my amazon wish list, I have a set of cloud-decor flannel sheets. I drempt I walked into Lizette's room and she had my sheets! I was like.. "wha.... mommy? but but.. " anyways, that is all.

Yesterday at the gym I ran two miles and discovered that I hate running.

I'll stick to the elliptical machines, thank you. Running is boring. It ain't fun. Plus, 40 minutes on the ellipticals I can go 4 miles and I burn about 400+ calories. On the treadmill with an equivalent amount of time I burn 250 or so. WTF??? The treadmill is much harder and it sucks!!

Still have to do taxes.. procrastinating.. anyone know of a good online site?

Okay what's up with guys. He was funny, sincere.. looking for something a bit more serious than the average guy. We exchanged photos and met up for drinks on Monday night. We had a good time.. conversation was easy and playful. We joked around and laughed. He kept touching my leg, making eye contact and smiling. Tuesday morning 8am he emails me to let me know he had fun and if I was available for a movie in the coming week. He wants to know when I'm available. I email him back.. a simple email letting him know what days I'm free. Then nothing. I email him Sunday.. wanting to know if he still wanted to hang out? Nothing.

Can someone explain that to me? Maybe a horrible car accident? Or maybe he met the woman of his dreams? The masochist in me checks to see if he wrote another ad. Nope.. nothing.

Bah! I think I've reached my dating quota for the year. :) It was fun while it lasted!

I have a few minutes before I have to go home so I shall devote this post to the pool.

The pool is small, runs about 10 feet deep. There is no filtration for the pool. During the summer it was nice and clean. A poolman came by to clean it every week. Although there are trees that shed leaves into it, it stayed clean because people would skim the water. When hot weather came around, I enjoyed the pool. I would lie next to the pool and sometimes go inside the pool. I would stroke the pool's water, telling it how nice and beautiful it was.

After the first winter storm in October, the poolman left. The pool filled with all the leaves that flew down and eventually I couldn't see the pool water anymore. Eventually the leaves fell to the bottom of the pool and you could see the water, but the water was now brown. I could see that the bottom of the pool was covered with leaves.

Nobody takes care of The Pool anymore. I cannot see inside The Pool. The Pool is angry because it is gross. My roommates shoot stuff into The Pool and the algae on top of the water seperates because we violated The Pool, then the algae moves slowly back together again, restoring itself to its normal state. China drinks out of the pool even though it is gross. The Pool calls wildlife to it. Occassionally there are ducks that swim inside The Pool, adding duck poo to the filth. When I wake up in the mornings, I sometimes look outside at the pool and see birds walking on The Pool water.

The Pool does not care that it is gross anymore. I will give $10 to anyone who does a lap around The Pool. You can be naked. If you're shy, it's okay because I won't be able to see inside The Pool while you're taking the lap.

Weekend was fun, a little strange.

Friday night I went out with the 2 male roomies. We went to this local bar in downtown Walnut Creek called O'Kearney's. Talk about skank-ho bitch-Concord-slutty-trash-hootchie-mamma-meathouse! Lots of girls there with fake boobies falling out.. it was quite a show. There was one cute guy there I noticed, but of course.. didn't do anything about (I have no clue about bar etiquette or manners on going about picking up a guy.. plus I'm too shy anyway). Drinks were weak and expensive. Afterwards we decided we wanted fajitas and donuts.. so we drove to the Safeway completely drunk and silly (luckily it was very close). S-roomie is a construction worker and he had glue stuck to his face and hair which was the funniest thing in the world at the time. We had a good time laughing at him in the produce isle. Anyhoo, after we made food back at home, R-roomie showed me this potato gun that he made. This thing shoots off potatoes so fast and hard it could kill someone! We shot a few at the wall, then into the gross, ranky pool which was hilarious. I shot another up into the air which landed somewhere next door.. so we quickly turned off the lights and ran inside, giggling like little school girls.

Next morning I took Isabella on a looong solo ride. We went on a few trails I hadn't been on in a while.. with some incredible breathtaking views. Single-track trails roaming through hills.. with birds chirping, no one for miles, and green lush grass everywhere. We went fast.. it was sooo much fun. The new order of hay they have her on now at the barn gives her oodles of energy (read about my fall from Wednesday) and that made for a fast, fun, exciting ride. No falling off this time.

Saturday night went to Albatross in Berkeley with Merima and a few other people. At around 11:30 I thought I was going to fall over dead.. I was so drained and tired. I met this girl (argh, I forgot her name), and she gave me a pill which I gladly accepted and downed immediately. I'm just trusting that way I guess. A mysterious pill and a diet coke later, I was up and cruising again. We played some mean games of dart (which I suck at, I just like to throw it HARD), pool (I really suck at pool - hit the cue ball into my partner's crotch, I just like hitting balls hard), and Uno.

Yesterday I didn't do too much. I finally watched Swingers (it'd been YEARS) and was generally a lazy bum. I should've done so many things.. taken Isabella out, taken China to the dog park, done my taxes, gone to the gym, gone shopping for a new purse.. instead I stayed in a sloth-like state in my room, wandering out only when forced and to gaze into the black entity which is our pool.

Oh yeah, I got my digital camera back.. woohoo! I will take more pictures for you all.

Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, work when people are watching

I love eating powdered dairy coffee creamer in the breakroom when I'm bored. Mmmm.. non-dairy coffee creamer..

Hmm.. went to my therapist this morning. Oh boy!! I had soooo much to tell him about this week.. lots of drama/excitement. Who knew my life was so crazy?? Or maybe I'm just feeling that because of the 4 cups of coffee jizzing through my blood at the moment.

HEY MERI IF YOU'RE READING THIS WHATCHA DOIN TONIGHT? WANNA GO ON A DATE??? (writing in caps will call her to read my site, therefore making her respond to this) YOU CAN TOUCH MY BEWBIES!! Actually I kind of want to go see a movie tonight.. any takers?

Last night I had a massage at Yoga Mandala from Sophiah. I stink of oil. She was quite good.. and was able to knead some of the tension and soreness away from my fall off of Isabella. However, I am still quite sore this morning.. I could barely lift my head off my pillow.. speaking of linens.. I just bought a really nice goosedown comforter and pillow set yesterday for $130. Bargain deals through my company. I'm hoping I can replace my existing 7 comforters with this warm one and be able to actually move around under my sheets.

China is being an idiot and is driving me insane.

I just want to let you guys know that I have wonderful friends.. including some of you out there.. :)

Argh, I had such a shitty day yesterday.

First off, new guy doesn't call or email. That's fine.. whatever, it's just been a day and he's already expressed interest in me. I'm fine widdat, yo.

Well, I go to ride my horse. I'm riding her bareback. She's feeling good and spunky so we're running around the arena. She spooks sideways at China (who was being an idiot) then slows down and starts shaking her head and bucking. My seat is already off because she's slippery as hell and because of the spook.. and I come tumbling forward off her front shoulder, doing a somersault right into the arena sand. I land on my ass, completely embarrassed. I get back on, canter her around again. That was my first fall of off her since I got her 2 years ago.. so anyway. I'm sore today. My shoulder, left forearm, and my left ankle which I think I tweaked. However, I think my ego was bruised more than anything.

Next, a guy who I've met called me fat. After I was already feeling crappy about myself. Self destructive mode was definitely on at that point.

It was nice of those of you who caught me online that tried to console me.. I was feeling pretty bad about myself and I felt myself slipping down the well again. For some reason I picture an analogy between my psyche and a big deep well.. like the one in 'The Ring' the little girl was trapped in. Sometimes I feel myself slipping down.. and last night was one of those nights. So many hands reaching out to try and save me and I wanted none of that. I feel bad about that. The last thing I want to do is to be a stress on anyone's life!

And then, for the clincher. Someone who I've cared about for a long time msg'd me. He made me feel that it was my fault for feeling hurt at something he did a few months back. There's so much more to this story.

I was going to go to the gym tonight but my body just feels tweaked and sore.. but I'm afraid if I don't go out and see someone I might revel even more in my self-destructiveness. Just talked to Andrea.. talking to friends on the phone seems to ground me a little bit, brings me back to reality. That's it for now.. la de da.

Looks like MJ got another surgery. Yeah, I'd pork him..

Last night was quite traumatic. I was coming home from the Cantina in town (where I recieved YET ANOTHER parking ticket, gRRRR) and got a call from Bob. Apparently Blade had gotten in a scuffle with his roommate's dog (an old fat rottweiler) and his leg was pretty munched up. I was a mere 2 minutes drive away so I scoot on over there to asses the damage. For those of you that don't know, I worked for almost 2 years at a vet hospital as a technician.. and numerous other internships at the large and small animal hospital throughout college. His leg was bloody and bruised.. but wasn't horrendous. We shaved his leg to look at the wounds and there were a few where Baron (the other dog) has torn right through the dermis so the muscle beneath was exposed. Baron's wounds were more superficial. He had gotten a few bites through his muzzle, but because Baron had so much extra skin, there wasn't any serious damage. I cleaned out the wounds and bandaged the leg up.. this morning Bob took him to the vet and no sutures are needed, thank goodness. Just a good wound cleanse and antibiotics.. and a big ol' bandage and he should be fine.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to school for vet medicine. I really enjoy taking care of animals, but I just don't know about the motivation to take the time to go back to school. I've been considering getting my master's in nursing for quite a while. 2 years of full time school and I could go into patient care. I worked in a children's emergency hospital ward for a while back in school and I enjoyed that quite a bit. I love the fast paced work conditions.. being efficient and good at what I do makes me happy. Biotech work is a lot of waiting.. planning.. meetings.. waiting.. etc. Not my style. Ideally, I'd love to work with neonates.. *sigh* we'll see where the next few years lead me.

Soo..... he emailed me the next morning telling me he had a fun time. And we're gonna get set up for date #2.

*HERCULES, HERCULES!!* (claps hands, wheeeeee!!)

Not really sure if I should give out details yet.. if this lasts for longer than a month I'll fill you all in. :D Otherwise I'll just look like a foolio.

Will someone buy me this necklace?



It's only $3150 from Tiffany's. Please? :) I'm not a big jewelry person.. but this necklace takes my breath away.. it's sooo purty!

I'm so bored I wanna pluck all the hair off my body one by one..

I miss chat at work.

Okay this is sickening.

Hehe, funny.

Ugh.

Funny again.

And ugh again.

*cheesycheeeeeesecheeesssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

Good times. Ball is in his court. No pressure. It's ok if he doesn't call.

Here it is.. my romance horoscope today.. prompted by events later this evening.. eek.

The movement of the planets may present you with an opportunity to meet someone that seems to have all the qualities you have been looking for in a perfect person. But you won't find them in your local grocery store or bump into them in your neighborhood. You need to go out on a limb and do something radical that puts you in touch with those that are truly unique.

Sheah. No pressure.

Golly gosh golly, an influx of new guestbook entries has prompted me to change the questions.. so if you haven't signed before or if you've signed already and want to make me soo verrrry happppy and scream like a little girl, go answer new questions. Now. Damnit.

YARG!! (is my new favorite word)

My water nightmares are coming back after 3-4 years. I had my first one last night.. the tide coming in and rushing, overcoming people trying to escape. The strong waters washing people away. I'm sitting on a bleacher with children, trying to protect them.. the water comes through this cave nearby in a rock formation.. it forcefully comes out of the hole like in Indiana Jones.

Friday night was fun dancing with Chris and his friends! There were quite a few drunk nasty guys at the club, but plenty of cute ones to oggle over. Merima and I kept running into this pair of fat midget girls that were there. The first time I ran into them I was coming out of the ladies restroom. I'm in the doorway and instead of waiting for me to pass, both of them decide to go through the doorway at the same time on either side of me, squishing me (and hopefully making me more skinny). This amused me quite a bit. Second time we ran into them we were in the bathroom again.. we were delighted to hear that they even had the little freaky midget voices. The last time we saw them they were dancing on the second floor. It made us happy to see them.. like we were spotting leprechauns or something.

I'm hating today. Things I hate today:

the new route my coworker told me about which took 10 extra minutes on my commute

this new baby tank-top I bought for $24 which the decal in front is all stretchy and fucked up cuz my boobs are too big

my messy truck

China's hair which is everywhere cuz she's shedding

the mysterious gunk on my boot which I'm afraid to touch

the fact that the meeting in which we were supposed to find out if we're all laid of has been postponed

dating

just went to the bathroom and realized my white tank top is see through GAH!!!

tata for now!

Holy quizzes galore, Batman!!


you're the color blue! you're most like aliya! you
enjoy throwing or going to awesome parties and
being drunk or high.you enjoy time with your
friends and hanging out with your significant
lover.


Which Color are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Uhh.. I don't need these!!


YOU HAVE BREAST IMPLANTS!!!


what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

Shirley Temple-- you're cute around people but
naughty when you get away from the crowd


What's your stripper name? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a Photon.
You run at your own pace, and dont have the need to
socialise as much as others, you get along with
Electrons more than others, and you tend to
express your individuality more than others.


What Subatomic Particle are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


The Ebola Virus


Which Parasitic Organism Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are burning


What Self-Mutilation Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla