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Friday, February 07, 2003
More quizzes
Akasha 2:45 PM This morning I had my blood drawn. It was a routine check up including additional tests done on my liver enzymes. A few years ago, I had elevated enzymes that were found when I had a check up done for starting employment. Although I had already been vaccinated against hepatitis, there was some concern that there was something going on in my liver. In subsequent years, I was scheduled to get it checked every 6 months, but being the consumate in-denial kind of person I am, I haven't gotten it checked since then. A terror of needles entering my body probably has something to do with it as well. So I enter the phlebotamist's office and the first thing I say (not even a 'good mornin' to ya') was, "I'm REALLY SKEERED!" haha. dork. She says, "Hm, have you ever fainted before?" and as a matter of fact, yes I have fainted. When the Oklahoma city bombings occured during my high school years, I thought I'd be a good samaritan and give blood. I went down to the Red Cross and in the middle of the procedure, I imagined my whole right side being shriveled up and turning yellow due to lack of red blood cells circulating in my body. I began sweating. And shivering. The nurse rushed up to me and asked if I was alright. I didn't want her to think there was a problem so I nodded to her and managed an f-d up smile through my drenched brow. She didn't believe me and I was unhooked from everything and told to go over to a bed that was set up, apparently for other 'blood giver failures/chickens' like me. I slept.. for an hour. haha. Then drove back home. Back to this morning.. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes and tight as I could. I felt the pinch of the needle.. hmm.. didn't feel so bad. But then she had two huge tubes to fill of my blood.. and thoughts began entering my brain again of a shriveled up zombie arm. However, before my thoughts ran too rampant, she yanked the needle out of my arm (OWW!!! THAT SUCKED!!) and told me it was done. No cookies or OJ here. I was sad. Yet happy it was over. My arm hurts and it's only half-shriveled. Which is better than wholely shriveled. Akasha 11:11 AM Yay, quizzes! Bah!!
Okay I took the political test and first I got far-right conservation.. I said, F-THAT!! So I took the test again and I got far left-liberal. So I don't think these quizzes are very accurate. bahahahaha!
Cool! I didn't even know horse was an option. :)
Akasha 10:11 AM Thursday, February 06, 2003 HOW COULD YOU ? By Jim Willis, 2001 When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day. Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a prisoner of love. As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed, "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself --a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty. Akasha 1:30 PM I had a very odd dream. My family was gathered and were exchanging presents. There was a small, strange-looking bicycle that one of the members bought for a child. I decided to get on it and everyone in the family gasped (she's going to break it, she's too FAAAAT!!!). At about the same time I got into this horrendous fight with my sister. There was a ball which I threw away because it was bugging me, and when she asked why I threw it away, I made up a lie to her. She argued that I was lying (which I was), and got extremely upset at me and stormed off. Then my dog came into the room where I was in and poo'd. All I gotta say is.. what the?? I understand why I dreampt my dog was pooing. In the morning my roommate makes a big breakfast and sometimes I smell it while I'm sleeping and I always think it smells like poo when I'm half awake. And of course, I know I have issues about my weight.. which is why I dreampt everyone was horrified at me getting on this child's bike. But what was the dealio about my sister? Hm. Thanks for the bday present, Lizette.. it's a cool book!! And thanks to everyone else that sent me well-wishes. It really brightened my day. Akasha 10:24 AM Wednesday, February 05, 2003  your bitch. What swear word are you? brought to you by Quizilla Akasha 4:30 PM I love craiglist!! Read this.. then later in the day, this ad appeared. People are too funny. Akasha 2:41 PM This song has been in my head all day yesterday and today: I have a smile we meet at the lights it's just you and me let me surround you oh and every time I'm close to you and I forgot oh and every time I'm close to you and I forgot Akasha 2:18 PM As much as I was determined to look forward to this day with dread, it's actually turning out not so bad. I feel a little silly. :P First off, I woke up and holy moly, I could hear! My ears were clear and I had little to no snottage when I went to blow my nose. Then, I drive into work.. head over to the cafeteria for my group's meeting.. and they had set up a little birthday party with a cake for me.. eek. I had no idea how they knew. After the embarrassing requisite birthday song, I blew out the candles (4!) and I realize now that I didn't even make a wish. Does that mean I don't get a wish for this year? I have no idea what to wish for anyway. My coworkers are taking me out to a birthday lunch, then this evening I'm going out with a few friends to Todai's for a birthday dinner. So the day isn't turning out so bad after all. I'm feeling warm and fuzzy inside.. the first time in a long time! :) Akasha 11:24 AM Tuesday, February 04, 2003 Well, just as I'm headed over the hill, getting over my bronchitis, I think yet another bug has come to take its turn to reek havoc upon my body. When Miho visited me, she brought along a little cough that she's been trying to get over and I'm afraid that it decided to turn on me as well. I've been sick for so long I don't remember what its like to be healthy! Despite all this, I'm still going to the gym and riding Isabella.. its better than locking myself in my room and heading down the downward spiral again. The worst part of all this is that the congestion has moved back up to my head and my right ear is completely plugged up. There isn't enough pressure to hurt or anything.. but just enough to make it really annoying for me. I'm constantly saying, "WHA?? WHADJA SAY SONNY??" On a side note, I had the most delightful conversation with a young man going to med school in SF. He was quite sweet and he insisted on making it into my journal. ;) Actually, I had a lot of fun chatting with him.. he's a sweet character. Akasha 11:02 AM Monday, February 03, 2003 Welp, it's Monday morning and it's back to my world. Miho left for southern California this morning. I had a good time with her and it was good to be back to my normal self again. I wasn't perfect, but I told her I'd try to be healthy this weekend and for the most part I was. Friday evening we went with my roommate to this Italian restaurant for dinner. I swear, this boy has no tact or manners at all. He was pissing me off and I could tell Miho wasn't too keen on him either. Throughout dinner, I was talking about "Resident Evil" and how FUCKING SCARY the movie was. I had just purchased it on DVD and I told them it would scare their panties off (well, don't know if my roommate wears panties, but nothing surprises me these days). Well, of course I hyped up the movie waaay too much and they weren't very impressed and the whole time I was wondering if they were as scared as I was the first time I watched the movie. Just ask my brother. He shares the same deep dislike for the undead that I do. Saturday morning Miho and I went to Calistoga for our spa treatments. It was an interesting experience.. first off, you get completely naked. Then you are put onto this imaginary conveyor belt and sent down the 'mudbath/mineral spa/massage' naked woman assembly line. You enter this room, are asked to shower, then are plopped into this big vat of heated peat moss and volcanic ash which smells like horse butt. In several curtained compartments around you, there are various women lounging in tubs filled with mineral water. What makes the event even more surreal is that there is 'tranquil music' a la harpsicords and guitar playing on the speakers. So Miho and I get into our respective mud baths and are immediately assaulted with facial masks (oo, that sounded bad) and cucumbers over our eyes. Being the tactful sweet girls we are, we immediately started gabbing loudly about how wierd the mud felt and how bad it smelled. When you can't see anything, you immediately assume you are the only ones in the room and all other customers in the room were completely disregarded. After giggling and laughing for a while, we quieted down and tried to enjoy the womb/poo-like environment. After about 10 minutes or so, we were asked to shower again and head into the mineral baths. I had mud in crevices where I never realized I had crevices. It amused me to scoop out my butt and see a big handful of brown slop come out.. odd, yet strangely fun. After soaking in the mineral baths for around 10 minutes, we went on down the conveyer belt and were wrapped in blankets like mummies for approximately 30 minutes. Then came the massage. My masseuse was named Clarissa and her eyes weren't set on straight. She was also quite fat and has gross looking toes. Her massage was even worse. I don't know what kind of Chinese accupressure crap she was trying to pull on me, but she'd place her fingers on two points on my body and breathe real deep for a few minutes. It freaked me out cuz I could feel her breath on my skin. She'd also work on one side of my body and completely disregard evening it out on the other side. After the joke of a massage, we lounged in their hot mineral pool for a while then found a nice ranch house to spend the night. The next day we went wine tasting down Napa and headed on home. On a side note, my birthday is this Wednesday. Bob got me a cool ATHF shirt and Miho gave me this huge bath set from Origins. Thank you!! Unfortunately, I'm not looking forward to this birthday at all. In fact, I look towards it with dread.. Valentine's day is just around the corner. I just found out that two of my high school friends are getting married this year. I'm happy for them.. but it makes me look at my own life and get frustrated. I spoke to Lizette on Saturday (made sure she wasn't upset with me with that comment I made) :P and I decided to further look into taking something to get me out of this bind. Negative thoughts aren't productive and that is all I seem to conjure up these days when analyzing my life. On a positive note, this weekend I'm going to Andrea's lake house for the weekend.. I'll have to call her to make sure its a go! It'll be oodles of fun. Whew, long post! Akasha 9:44 AM |
