My tattoo looks very gross at the moment. The top layer of skin is flaking and itchy.. and it's driving me maaad INSANE!! I try not to scratch.. but I wake myself up in the middle of the night itching myself.. argh! Also, I try not to scratch the tattoo itself so I'm scratching the skin all around it.. it actually looks kind of cool because the skin gets all inflamed and red and the tattoo looks like its rising out of flames or something. Sweeeet!

Tonight I go to this with Merima, Chris, and a few other folks.

Today at lunch, one of my coworkers told Isa and I that he has been receiving random calls on his cell phone. He says they seem to be of arabic origin.. they begin to speak very quickly and unintelligibly then wait as if waiting for a response. He tells us that lately he's been getting tired of all the calls and has been responding nonsensically back. "PT 2003 pi 3.14". The caller remains silent.. grunts.. then hangs up. Maybe he is giving them the okay to bomb SF. Eeek. EEEEEEEEEEEEEK~~!!!

I'm so heart-broken today.. Mr. Roger's has passed on to his neighborhood in the sky. I grew up with the man. Even during high school, I'd watch his show in the morning as I got ready for school. He was a big part of my life. I thought it was odd that he would change clothes when he got home, but now I understand the need for comfort after a long day at work. When I come home I immediately strip of my "work clothing" and don on sweats or pajama pants with my house slippers. And just as he would escape into his neighborhood and stare at his aquarium for hours on end, I would do the same, escaping into the television or the internet, staring at the screen for hours on end.

I thought it was odd that he would only feed his fish occassionally, but later I realized that not all of his time at home was televised. He probably fed them at another time. I also always wondered where he worked. Was his show his job?? Or was that really his home, or what?? We never get to see where he sleeps!? And what was up with Henrietta Pussycat? That kitty freaked me out cuz she was so ratty looking, couldn't they afford a nicer looking puppet?? But I digress, he provided me comfort and knowing he was always there every morning made me happy and content. In all seriousness, I am quite sad to hear of his passing.. he's really the first person that has passed away that I really felt had an impact on my life.. I watched his show religiously.

Mr. Rogers, you've had more influence in my life than you will ever know. Rest in peace, dear man. My childhood heart loved you!

The haxor handle of Julienne is "Cabl3 Pari@h".

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Holy mother of crapola, boredom led to me look at my horoscope today:

Today you just might want to cut yourself off from the world and hide, dear Aquarius. Your backyard or bedroom seems especially attractive to you right now, and you might have just purchased a new paperback that you're dying to read. You won't even feel like sharing a meal with the rest of the household. Don't worry about this. We all want some time alone occasionally. Your family should understand.

I'm skeered. eeeep! What am I hiding from??

So last night was my last training session with my personal trainer at the gym. I must say, I've gone a long way with her since I first started in November. I know its gross, but I used to sweat quite a bit when I first started. I had a big pudge of a stomach and my arms had muscle but were covered in this lardy mess. So, after faithfully trying to attend 3 times a week and going to ride/hike with my horse on other days, I'm becomming more tolerant of my body.

When I first started out, I could hardly even stand to look in the mirror at myself. So when I'd work out in front of the mirror, I'd always look off at the side.. perhaps to some old lady with fake boobs on a machine, or an old sweaty guy on the treadmill. Now, I can look at myself and see definition in my arms.. my legs don't look like an elephant's quite as much, and my stomach is flat aside from a little curve at the bottom. Once I get my camera back from the repair shop, I'll try and take a few pictures if I can stomach them so you all can see (and laugh, and judge).

I still think I need to lose at least 30 pounds. The only thing about building muscle quickly (yes, it runs in my family), is that I build muscle too quickly!! I don't want to be bulky. *cry*

One thing I've discovered with all this training is that I LOVE kicking (people, babies, small defenseless animals, etc). My trainer is a martial arts expert so the past two sessions I've been working with the bag, punching and kicking. Go check out her site.. she's friggin hot! Anyways. The kicking is lots of fun.. leaves me nice and sore. I have yet to kick anyone out of necessity in real life, but I think I could seriously take someone down.. and I anxiously await the day. MUHAHAHAHA.

The itching on my leg from my new tattoo is driving me insane!! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I want to cut it off.. please someone cut it off..

Am I the only one that likes spraying cleaning duster in my mouth when I'm bored? C'mon.. I can't be alone here. Throw me a bone people.

I just realized that I'm a relationship retard. The epiphany of that is startling.. however, only a little surprising. I have no problems at all making girlfriends (oh yeah, new linkie! <------- check it out, Merima's site), but when it comes to guys, I find it suprising that I've had relationships which last longer than 2 weeks. Poopy-head. GRR.

Last night I was talking to my friend Matt (Burny burn burn) online. It was such an empowering conversation.. It didn't seem like it at the time, but I felt so much better. Dude is like my online therapist. He gave me some advice pertaining to some of the issues I'm going through right now.. advice to recapture what I stand for and uphold, advice which allows me to believe that I deserve better than how I treat myself. I only wish I could've given him better advice with what he's going through right now. The only thing I can say is to follow your bliss. Don't live your life wondering 'what if'.

Back to the retarded business. How do I quit acting retarded? I smell funny today (I know that didn't have anything to do with this post, but I thought I'd let you know).

I just found a chocolate kiss on the floor of my cube.... SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday morning. So sleepy.. had to get a full cup of joe to jump start me. It's 9:30 and I'm finally feeling my blood start pumping again.

Saturday night I went to this bar named Thallassa in Berkeley.. a big group of us stayed until closing. I had parked a few blocks away so Merima (I need to get her blog-link up!) drove me to what I thought was my parking structure. I climb the stairs and I don't see my truck.. perplexed, I walk around the block. As I'm walking a big black guy in his SUV drives up to me and starts talking to me. "HEY! GIRL, CAN I TALK TO YA" I glance at him sideways, "YES?" (hm. probably not the best answer) He yells over the bass thumping from his stereo "HEY!! STOP A MOMENT, GIRL, LETS TALK!" I walk faster.. mumble something about having to get to my car. This pisses him off apparently because he revs up his engine and yells, "YOU UGLY!" and drives off. This amused me quite a bit. All I could think of was at least he didn't say I was fat..

So I call up my friend B, left him a 1/3-sleepy, 1/3-drunk (well less than that.. I didn't have much to drink), and 1/3-scared outta my pants message. "Hey! I'm walking in downtown Berkeley at 3am in the morning and this guy just tried to rape me but you're not there so I'll just leave a message." hahaha.. nice of me, eh? Another car approaches with the bass thumping. I pretend I'm still talking on my cell phone like a doofus and they decide to just drive on by. Ahh.. the cell phone.. not only a means of communicating wherever or whenever you want.. but also a handy dandy crime-deterrant! I finally round the block to the same parking structure when it dawns on me that it *is* the correct structure.. but I parked on the other side of the building. *friggin ahole* Gah. Drive home without incident.

In another amusing little anecdote, I was e-mailing a friend who goes to Stanford and I inadvertantly wrote 'Stanfart' in a letter I wrote to him. I guess I'm so used to writing 'fart' that any 4 letter 'f' word comes out as 'fart' from now on. I didn't even realize this until after he wrote me back and I had seen what I had written to him. Luckily he didn't take offense. I thought it was quite funny.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I feel the caffeine coursing through my veins!! And that ain't my penis!!

What is this world coming to?? Recalcitrant genies snipping off unsuspecting babies' foreskins.. tsk tsk.

And.. be afraid, but be prepared.

Speaking of diarrhea, I haven't gone in two days.. I dunno what's up with that. So for lunch I am drinking an Odwalla Vanilla Al'mondo soymilk shake in hopes that the soy goodness will extract the badness from my body.

I met with my therapist this morning and discussed the post I had written yesterday. There were quite a few self-revelations I made while writing that introspective piece.. and he asked if he could either see my webpage or if I could print out the entry for him to see next time. I'm unsure how I feel about him looking at my webpage.. hmm.. would it be strange? I guess he's already delved into my psyche and he knows about the self-destructive thoughts and habits I have. However, not only would he have access to thoughts like yesterday's post, he'd also know facts like how I've been constipated.. which is kind of funny actually.

Yesterday I had dinner with a friend of mine who is going to help me find a position at Genentech. She's been helping me revise my resume to gear it more towards a computer-oriented science job. She's quite fun to hang around with.. she's a bundle of energy, the opposite from my mellow self. We get along well.

Afterwards I hung out with a friend whose 20th birthday is today! (Happy Birthday, Brian - if you're reading this) ;) The male attention and his sweet, honest, vernal demeanor makes me smile inside..

Hmm... I'm not quite sure how to start this post. So here goes, a diarrhea of thoughts!

I've been entertaining the idea of dating again. Perhaps just taking a peek into the dating world to see what's out there.. more likely than not, I will immediately reverberate back into my single, loner world. At the moment, I am quite comfortable not having to deal with the emotions that revolve around getting to know the opposite sex with romantic intentions in mind: nervousness, fear, disappointment, unrealistic expectations. I think the feelings I just listed should be enough to let you know how I feel about the whole dating scene to begin with. However, despite events in the past, I don't feel like I'm the completely black-hearted, jaded individual about guys I sometimes portray myself to be.

My friend Diana who I went to the Tori Amos concert with organizes this social circle for people around our age group. She's invited me to a few events and I've met quite a few people through her, both girls and guys who seem fun and easy-going. There's one gal who I've really clicked with.. she works in the biotech industry as well and as it turns out, she lives about 5 minutes away! She's incredibly nice and I'm going out to dinner tonight where she'll help me update my CV in case I'm jobless (we'll find out in 2 weeks).

Guys are a different story. Remember that website I posted a while back? Basically it said that women automatically categorize men into one of two ladders: the friendship ladder or the relationship ladder. I find it sometimes easier to talk to guys because my sense of humor can be pretty rude and crass once you get to know me.. so there are a lot of guys that are on the friendship ladder who I've met through the group. However, once a guy is on the friendship ladder, I don't want him to think there is any crossover between the two ladders, so there is only a certain point to which the friendship can be extended. So I block people off in that respect. I get flakey and pull myself away.

Ok, I'm not sure what the whole point is to this posting. I think basically that I have yet to meet that person who is complementary. I'm a bit of an odd soul.. still trying to establish who I am and where I fit into this world. I look at my sister and brother who have clear opinions and ideas as they walk through life, whereas I've been more of an observer and thinker. I'm quiet and I would much prefer to talk about a person's truths and what evokes that spark in their heart which gets them through life rather than surface banter that these social gatherings sometimes can revolve around. I quietly accept what happens around me and decide whether I want to be around or I leave discretely. With this in mind, I often blend myself by being someone I'm not. I hate drawing attention to myself, I don't want to be vulnerable, I hate appearing selfish.

I often think I'm so full of oxymorons and conflict about who I am. I grew up in a rich upbringing, so I can hold myself with poise and manners in a social gathering. Yet my family went quite abruptly from one end of the economic income bracket to the other, so I understand what its like living without knowing where the money will come from next. With this life experience I grew to become the independent one. As the oldest child I didn't allow myself to feel anything through the hardships my family experienced.. yet now that I'm older, I'm finally allowing myself to feel and I'm not quite sure how to deal with the emotions I'm encountering. I'm quiet and serious with people.. and I have this overwhelming need to make sure everyone around me is comfortable and secure, yet in relationships I can be needy in reaffirmation of someone's feelings for me. I try to be light-hearted around people to ease any sort of tensions, and it floors me when I find that someone really cares for me.. even my family, which is odd. I sometimes lay down my insecurities and flaws right away to guys who express interest in me because I don't want them to get too close.. because they may not like what they find. I think that's why I protect myself with my silly, goofy sense of humor.

I think finding that complementary person frightens me. Maybe not so much getting close to that person and learning to establish that trust and friendship, but discovering that this person doesn't exist which I think has discouraged me from even trying (sad excuse, I know). I feel sometimes that it follows the whole pattern in my life.. if I don't pour my heart and soul into it, I won't be disappointed if I fail. That's the way it's been with almost everything in my life: school, friendships, hobbies.. even past romantic relationships.

But there is that stirring in my brain.. that is getting me thinking about meeting new people again. Maybe I should try. I'm not sure.

Over 120 people died yesterday in a subway fire in Daegu, South Korea. My heart goes out to these people and their families who tragically lost their lives. The cause of the fire was a distraught man who wanted to commit suicide and entered the train, lighting a carton filled with an unidentified substance. The fire raced through two packed trains before it was under control.. leaving people dead and scores of people still missing and unidentified. The man who took his life as well as the innocent said that he did not want to die alone. I can't imagine what their relatives must be feeling.. and through news photographs I can only glimpse the agony and pain cursing through their minds and bodies as they learned of their loves ones being yanked from their lives. My heart hurts.

Last night I was quite a few dreams (probably attributed to the 3 diet cokes I drank last night). I remember one of them quite vividly.

I was eating dinner with a group of friends, one of which brought along a small tank with an ecosystem enclosed. Inside the tank resided a small frog which was swimming along. Commenting on this, instead of saying "Hey! There's a FROG in that tank!", I exclaimed, "Hey, there's PORN in that tank!" Apparently this was the most craziest, hilarious thing ever.. and I woke myself up laughing. In that lucid, sleepy state, I went to the bathroom to pee, still chuckling and giggling at how funny I was. Apparently I'm quite the comedian in my dreamworld.

A few months ago I signed up to be a 'literacy pal' through work. This program matches you up with a middle school child nearby (in Berkeley) and you correspond through mail about books, personal interests, etc. Today I got my first letter! The student is a young girl in 6th grade who doesn't like reading much. haha. I love writing letters.. and I remember when I was that age I wrote letters all the time.. to friends, pen pals, family.. everyone. What a fun program.. I'm excited!

I think we may have finally found a roommate. No BJs were involved in the transaction. This takes a lot of stress off my mind.. although I'm still thinking about moving to Berkeley, with a stable household situation I may be encouraged to stay a while.

Although I'm feeling much better than I did a few weeks ago, I still have my sensitive moments. Yesterday I had a conflict with my roommate and it upset me quite a bit. I was on my way out to the barn with China and when I arrived, I broke down and cried. I absolutely hate conflict of any sort where I have to stand up for myself.. and he was treating me like an ass. It was dark at the barn and I was sitting down, watching Isabella eating her supplements. China came over and I just hugged her and began tearing up. Animals are amazingly intuitive creatures.. China, normally a hyperactive bundle of energy when outside, quieted right down and stood still while I hugged her for a few moments. The calm and quiet placated my thoughts and allowed me to think of what to say to him when I returned. Later that evening, all was resolved.. I told him the way he treated me hurt me as a friend.. and he apologized sincerely. From an avoidant personality, it was a big relief.

So my appointment was on Saturday to get my tattoo. I chose the lesbian, woman-owned establishment because I really wanted to get the tattoo from a woman artist.. someone who could understand that this was a big decision and would be patient in designing something that I would want permanently on my body. I was told that Anne was very good at tribal designs when I called up Black-n-Blue Tattoo. As soon as I walked in for my appointment, I saw a large gathering of women (I'm assuming lesbians) congregated around the front desk laughing and talking with each other. I've never really been around too many lesbian women, so it was interesting observing the dynamic between them as they talked. They were all very very cheery and talkative, sharing their thoughts freely and often. There was a bit of a catty air to their conversation although everyone was friendly. I wasn't attracted to any of them. They were all a little butch.. plus the idea of touching someone's boobs in a sexual manner kind of disturbs me.

Anne was more my type.. a little more quiet and earthy. If I were a lesbian, I might have been attracted. Anyhoo, I brought along the picture of the tattoo I liked mentioned before. She listened to the qualities I liked about the design.. it was curvy, with reaching arms.. yet thorny and funky. With this in mind, she drew a few concept designs that I didn't really strike me.. so we sat down together and went through the tattoo piece by piece, creating as we went along. Finally when we came up with the finished tattoo, she told me to take a walk to rethink my decision and for her to set up. I browsed a nearby bookstore and returned 10 minutes later, with no doubt in my mind that the next time I walked out I would have that tattoo on my leg.

So I took my pants off and lied down on the table to get ready (uhm.. another reason I wanted a female tattoo artist). As she began, I closed my eyes and breathed, trying not to focus on the pain. The outline was tough.. she had to make the lines thick and precise, so I couldn't move at all. I tried to stay quiet because the pain was more tolerable that way. It sounds strange, but there was also less pain when I had more contact with her body. She was leaning over my legs and hips, resting herself against me as she worked.. maybe she was some sort of shaman that absorbed pain from her clients. That would've been cool. After the outline was finished (which took less time than I thought it would.. or maybe I was thinking that the pain would never end), she filled out the tattoo and that didn't hurt as much (there is a different type of needle that is used for this part). Whew, almost done. She cleaned up the tattoo then went over the parts where it appeared lighter.. which hurt just as bad as the outline because by then the area was pretty sensitive and sore.

We were both really happy with how it turned out in the end. Even while she was tattooing, she'd stop and smile to herself because it was turning out so well! hehe.. Afterwards, she took a photo of it for her portfolio. I love that the design is curvy and smooth.. kind of like a woman dancing.. green and earthy. Very cool.

Anyways, that's my story. Not that exciting.. but it was an awesome experience. I think that's it for tattoos for now. I've had my share of piercings and tattoos to last for a while.

My D&D stats:

Str: 13
Int: 11
Wis: 14
Dex: 11
Con: 7
Chr: 10

Got my tattoo today..

I highly recommend Anne from Black and Blue Tattoo. She was incredibly nice, sensitive, and did a wonderful job of helping me design this tattoo. I absolutely LOVE it!

Had to share with ya'll.. I'll write more about my experience later.

Please don't make fun of my massive thigh or I'll cry.. The bandage is still in the picture (that's what the white cloth is on the right), and my skin is still blotchy from getting pierced by a thousand needles.. Anyways, I'm very very happy with it.. turned out much better than I expected. yay!



*just a note.. I know its silly to mention.. but the design was made with being unique and custom in mind. If you like the style, just change it so its not exactly like mine :)

Last night I was with a group of people and posed with the question, "If you were taking a life changing, crucial exam.. and had the opportunity to cheat safely, would you do it?" As the question moved across the room, it warmed my heart to see that people had a strong enough conscious to answer 'no' to the question, no matter how tempted. It made me feel good that there were still good people in the world that were still held to their strong morals and beliefs.

When the question came around to me, I answered 'yes' with no hesitation. NEXT!

Hmm.. seriously debating whether to get the license plate " U R PWNT ".

Oh yeah, Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

I seem to do things on impulse.. when I decided to get my tongue pierced (I believe it was on a Monday), I went ahead and got it done the next day.

My appointment to get my next tattoo will be tomorrow at 2pm. I'm a little nervous.. but I'm pretty calm about the pain. I looked for different places around the bay area, and the most important criteria I wanted was to have a female artist. Someone a little more sensitive because I can be a little bit of a wimp.. For some reason I think they would care a little more about permanently marking their art on someone's else's body.. maybe it's the female guilt trip thing, but hey, it's still motivation not to fuck up. So I did a little searching and found this place. A lesbian owned and run tattoo parlor in San Francisco. How perfect is that?? They have around 6 artists and I'll be seeing Ann, the one specializing in tribal art designs.

Today for lunch a coworker and I went to visit another fellow coworker who had gotten his wisdom teeth pulled. He lives over in Portrero Hill and both of them have been trying to convince me to move to either Berkeley or San Francisco. It was a cute little area, full of lots of cute shops and the parking wasn't too bad either. I know I want to move within the next few months, but finding a place where I can keep China and have Isabella nearby has been a bit of a hinderance. We had lunch at a quaint little Chinese restaurant nearby his loft, and as I watched all the cute geeky boys pass by the restaurant window, I thought.. well, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

On a side note, I'm seriously considering getting another tattoo down the outside of my left thigh.

A design like this:


would be kind of cool.. except ouch.

edit: I changed the photo.. this one is much clearer and nicer i think.. I like the symmetry better and how it tapers off at the bottom.

Currently bored outta my skull at work, waiting for my gel to finish running. In the mean time, I'm looking through my access-log to find interesting search words that people typed in to find my site through different search engines:

mom's boobs
peewee's playhouse
34HH boobs
Lord of the Rings Engrish
pics human liver
akasha
azn love stories
to be patient being the breadwinner
people fucking there pets pics
Joe Millionaire possible scenarios
brother sister porn
bind her
Paso Fino arab
dead dog pictures
inside her mind
severed feet
getting masterbated
guy wearing shortalls
anal play pics
photos of dogs peeing
meatwad pics
movie theatres and perverts stories of being masterbated
japanese bukkake porn
pics inside of a dogs ear

ALL I've got to say is.. ugh. People are disgusting. And they gravitate to my site. haha!

I just wanted to mention that I'm a total nerd because I love doing lab work. Maybe its because I'm working alone at the time. Pipetting and sucking stuff up makes me feel tranquil and happy. Getting a good groove on with the radio tuned into the local dance station helps too. Molecular biology is my meditation.

The Act of Insertion
If the man is ready (same vice-versa) 14 calories
If the woman is not (same vice-versa) 274 calories



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Satisfying Partner (organ size)
Most experts agree that size means nothing. Shape is what counts, and the man with a shaped organ can write his own ticket. In those rare instances where a man has a genuinely small member, he may have to compensate by working slightly harder, but this is good for weight loss. A man with a really large organ, while he might not have to work as hard once inside, may exhaust himself just trying to convince his partner to let him put it inside.

Normal size 22 calories
Oversize 15 calories
Tremendous 8 calories
Teensy-weensy 163 calories




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Positions
Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other) 20 calories
Woman on top, man on bottom
(Many women find that in addition to its inherent sexual possibilities, this position affords a better view of the clock.) 25 calories
From the rear (Mysterious variation) 40 1/2 calories
Standing: Both partners of equal height 18 calories
Standing: Woman 1 foot taller than a man 90 calories
While in traction
(very useful during ski season) 124 calories



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Locations
On a bar stool 20 calories
Rear of a Honda Civic 38 calories
In a phone booth, standing 14 calories
In a phone booth, lying down 274 calories
On an airliner, aisle seat 24 calories
On an airliner, middle seat 42 calories
On an airliner, window seat 30 calories
On an airliner, in the lavatory 100 calories



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Possible Side Effects of Intercourse
Bouncing 7 calories
Sliding around 9 calories
Serious Skidding 12 calories
Full cartwheel 20 calories
Whiplash 27 calories
Knee burn 6 calories
Chafed elbows 5 calories
Chafed nose 11 calories



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Sex Related Noises
Short gasps (per gasp) 3 calories
Wheezing 5 calories
Squeals 4 calories
Ecstatic moaning 11 calories
Low growling 8 calories
Squishing 10 calories
Shouting 16 calories
Screaming 18 calories
Urgent begging 22 calories
Any short speech giving partner directions
("Please don't stop," "Faster," "Just a little more" are common examples.) 25 calories



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Approaching Orgasm
Letting go 5.5 calories
Controlling yourself 79 calories
Digging nails into your partner's back 11 calories
Trembling 15 calories
Shaking 20 calories
Shuddering 25 calories
Trying to keep eyes open 33 calories



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Orgasm
Real 27 calories
Faked 160 calories



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Orgasmic Intensity Scale
Expression didn't change 1/2 calorie
Face turned purple 15 calories
Orchestra swelled 6 calories
Magical explosions 10 calories
Blazing Sheets 25 calories
Earth moved 30 calories
Vesuvius erupted 47 calories
You began moaning in Latin 60 calories



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Pulling Out
After orgasm 1/4 calorie
A few moments before orgasm 500 calories



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Multiple Orgasms
For women:
2 14 calories
5 30 calories
8 47 calories
(Depending on greed her rate of recovery a woman can enjoy around 8 orgasms within an hour period without losing consciousness or disarranging her hair. As the number increases, however, she may begin to experience a form of "reduced sanity" that will temporarily interfere with her ability to cook, worship ,and ride a Moped.)
For Men:
2 21 calories
3 39 calories
4 57 calories
(For a man, its a different situation, perhaps due to physiological and biological reasons. Many men can enjoy up to 4 orgasms in an hour with little discomfort except for the slight ringing in the ears. With few exceptions, however, a man who tries to achieve more than 10 orgasms within that same period is flirting with irreversible brain damage.)




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Special Orgasms
Clitoral. 15 calories
Vaginal 21 calories
Penile 21 calories
Scrotile 15 calories
Rectal 25 calories
Oral
(can also occur during an especially good meal) 30 calories



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Premature Ejaculation*
During insertion 2 calories
During intercourse
(Approximately. 2 sec's or 3 thrusts after insertion, whichever comes first.) 5 calories
During foreplay 3 calories
Immature ejaculation
(Similar to premature ejaculation except male acts childish and throws a tantrum.) 4 calories



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Consequences of Premature Ejaculation
Even if you have a good heart, it takes much understanding not to feel like a victim when your partner climaxes after 3 sec's of intensive sex, especially if he immediately sits up to watch the football on tv.

For Women
Frustration 8 calories
Anger 15 calories
Violent mood swing 20 calories
Surpressing rage 25 calories
Not surpressing anger
(In extreme cases, this can include cursing, nose tweaks, and gently massaging partner's head with a tire iron.) 65 calories
For Men:
Cursing 10 calories
Apologising 3 calories
Snivelling 5 calories
Pleading for mercy 8 calories
Begging for another chance
(Note how unfair: Men never seem to mind if a woman has an orgasm after 3 seconds of sex.) 15 calories




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Possible Side Effects of Good Sex
The first indication that sex was a positive experience will be a buzzing in the pelvic area and a clear complexion. You might also feel pleasantly light, as though you were dozing in a vat of cream cheese. If sex was really terrific, you feel dangerously drained, as though your body had been connected to a large milking machine for several days. Additional reactions include:

Swooning 6 calories
Palpitations 10 calories
Shortness of breath 5 calories
Perspiring 8 calories




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Possible Side Effects of Bad Sex
A less-than-sunny desposition 1 calorie



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Recovering
Un-entwining 3 calories
Regaining motor control of pevis
(After especially tiring sex, you may feel numb from below the waist to the opposite wall. The result will be an inability to walk [put one foot in front of the other], which will seriously impair your chances of going to the bathroom or getting some juice.) 7 calories
Standing up 9 calories
Getting some juice 11 calories



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rolling Over and Going to Sleep
After intercourse
(Classic behavior for shiftiness men who believe they've done their job and are now entilted to a rest. This "rest" may include snoring.) 18 calories
During intercourse
(Women find this to be a subtle, yet direct way of suggesting dissatisfaction.) 32 calories
During foreplay
(Indicates either an advance case of fatigue or a serious lack of interest.) 12 calories
Avoiding the wet spot 80 calories




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Trying Again
If the woman is ready 5 calories
If the man is not 156 calories



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Dreaming
Regular dream 2 calories
Wet Dream
Add 5 calories if it occurs while in bed with your partner;
Add 20 calories if your partner notices 16 calories
Wet Trance
(Usually occurs in the presence of a sensual hypnotist.) 20 calories



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Group Sex
Introducing yourself 3 calories
Overcoming shyness 8 calories
Swapping partners, willingly 4 calories
Swapping partners, unwillingly 62 calories
Jealousy
(Partner having more fun than you are) 16 calories
Mixed doubles 26 calories
Being nice to everyone 100 calories
Anger
(You suddenly realize that you're wanted for you body and not your mind. Difficult to cope with, especially if you have a Ph.D.) 10 calories
Finding your clothes 5 calories



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Masturbation
For pleasure only 6 calories
For exercise, too 10 calories
For relief from tension 12 calories
To pass the time 7 calories
To avoid overeating 16 calories
To get in touch with inner self 10 calories
To get in touch with outter self 10.5 calories
To avoid insanity 24 calories
To avoid spending money on a date
(In addition to being a viable alternative to television, shopping, and binges, masturbation is a quick and inexpensive way to get warm.) 9 calories
Using your hand(s) 11 calories
Using your finger(s) 9 calories
Using tweezers 2 calories
Using an inflatable doll 24 calories
Using Any fruit or vegetable
(Except watermelon or a sprig of parsley) 19 calories
Using a vibrator, hand-operated 12 calories
Using a vibrator, windup 9 calories
Using a vibrator, electric 5 calories
Using anything not mentioned here 50 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - purchasing the ticket 2.5 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - finding isolated seat 78 calories
In a pornographic movie theater - adjusting raincoat 3 calories



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Typical Sex-Related Fears
Partner hates me for what I did 4 calories
Partner hates me for what I didn't do 8 calories
Forgetting the instructions in the sex manual 10 calories
Climaxing too soon 5 calories
Climaxing too late 6 calories
Not climaxing 20 calories
Partner thinks of me as a sex object 9 calories
Partner doesn't think of me as a sex object 47 calories
Partner will neglect to adminster last rites should I not recover from orgasm 88 calories



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Personal Fears
Gigantic cellulite that shake and ripple during orgasm 6 calories
Stretch marks that look like a plowed field 8 calories
Penis envy 72 calories
Body odor of a disgruntled yak 25 calories



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting Caught
By partner's spouse 60 calories
By your spouse 60.5 calories
Trying to explain 165 calories
Stuttering 28 calories
Throwing up
(Calorie counts here are flexible, depending on type of spouse-whether understanding and open-minded, or narrow-minded and armed) 40 calories



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost Getting Caught
Trying to remain calm 100 calories
Fright (includes trembling) 66 calories
Leaping out of bed 25 calories
Getting dressed in one large motion 300 calories
Thanking partner quickly 2 calories
Jumping out of window
add 5 calories if window wasn't open 15 calories
Landing 1 calorie
Running very fast 50 calories



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Freaky!!

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words won't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...

Are you Addicted to the Internet? 58% Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%) You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer. The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!

find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com

Just stopped by GNC to pick up a bottle of Stacker 2's. I totally got ripped off because I payed $39.99 for the bottle.. but oh well. This stuff is like speed. wheeeeeeee. I think I've been losing weight because my belt (size medium) is on the tightest hole now.. woohooo. Still going to the gym and I think my endurance is increasing because I'm not sweating as much as I used to.. ugh, I hate sweating!! I've still got a loooooooooooong way to go...

This Valentine's day, I shall prop myself in front of the TV and watch chick flicks until I pass out! Maybe have a pillow fight with myself if things get a little roudy, ya nawmsayin.. ;)

Looking for a roommate again, $600 for a room in a HUGE house in Walnut Creek.. any takers?? :P Free BJs! haha just kidding.. or am I...? o.0

Anyone need a raccoon? Found a good deal on craiglist..

Kind of a lame quiz.. but here ya go.





I'm Chandler Bing from Friends!

Take the Friends Quiz here.

created by stomps.





I am a punctual sausage link that likes to megaFUCK ringtails!

Where to begin.. my weekend was pretty funfilled.

Friday evening.. went over to Andrea's place with Sharon for some yummy food and hot tubbing. She fixed up T-bone steaks, crab marinated in balsamic vinegar, artichokes wrapped in proscuitto, and some KICK ASS bread. It was all soooo yummy and now my pee smells funny which makes going to the bathroom exciting! About halfway through dinner one of her friends called. Her boyfriend of 3 years, whom she trusted with all her heart, called her up and told her he kissed another woman and he was planning on sleeping with her. *this is why I'm not dating, folks* Her life was devastated. Andrea convinced her to come over and soak in the hot tub with us.. so we all sat around, got stoned, and bashed on men for the evening. It was quite fun.

Saturday evening.. went to a SF Chat party with Chris (see dewd friend from Berkeley on the left). It was my first "chat party" and everyone was really personable and friendly. I finally got to meet a few people I'd been talking to for quite a while. Chris got bored so we left and went to the San Pablo Indian Casino. I didn't want to play.. but he convinced me to sit down at a $10 minimum blackjack table. Because of my extensive experience in playing Yahoo! Blackjack (really, I play a lot.. can I be more of a nerd??), I won 5 hands in a row and we came out of there $45 richer! Woohoo!! GAMBLING ROCKS!!!

Sunday evening.. I got free tickets to attend this comedy club in Concord. It was my first time going to anything like that.. I took my roommate and both of us had fun. Good times.

So I kept busy this weekend which was good. I'm planning on competing next month in the Monterrey Bay Competitive Trail Ride so I've begun conditioning Isabella again. OH BOY I CAN'T WAIT!! The greedy person I am -- I want a 1st. SOOO BAD!! I think Isabella and I can do it, considering we've gotten 2nd's consistantly.. and the gal who kept beating us out is now in the next division. Now that I've said that I'll probably fall off at the competition and Isabella will be in raging heat, trying to get mounted by anything with four legs.

My doctor called me this morning and told me that I have high cholesterol.. so I have to go in Wednesday morning to talk about this with her. I will probably get a lecture of how fat I am and how I need to go on a diet (ha, if she only knew!).. The only consolation is that my mom has the same problem.. so maybe a small part of it has to do with inherited genes. Oh well, I have a feeling I will probably die young anyhow. Liver enzymes were normal which was good news.

More quizzes


discover your inner candy heart @ stvlive.com


discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com

YELLOW You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

This morning I had my blood drawn. It was a routine check up including additional tests done on my liver enzymes. A few years ago, I had elevated enzymes that were found when I had a check up done for starting employment. Although I had already been vaccinated against hepatitis, there was some concern that there was something going on in my liver. In subsequent years, I was scheduled to get it checked every 6 months, but being the consumate in-denial kind of person I am, I haven't gotten it checked since then. A terror of needles entering my body probably has something to do with it as well.

So I enter the phlebotamist's office and the first thing I say (not even a 'good mornin' to ya') was, "I'm REALLY SKEERED!" haha. dork. She says, "Hm, have you ever fainted before?" and as a matter of fact, yes I have fainted. When the Oklahoma city bombings occured during my high school years, I thought I'd be a good samaritan and give blood. I went down to the Red Cross and in the middle of the procedure, I imagined my whole right side being shriveled up and turning yellow due to lack of red blood cells circulating in my body. I began sweating. And shivering. The nurse rushed up to me and asked if I was alright. I didn't want her to think there was a problem so I nodded to her and managed an f-d up smile through my drenched brow. She didn't believe me and I was unhooked from everything and told to go over to a bed that was set up, apparently for other 'blood giver failures/chickens' like me. I slept.. for an hour. haha. Then drove back home.

Back to this morning.. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes and tight as I could. I felt the pinch of the needle.. hmm.. didn't feel so bad. But then she had two huge tubes to fill of my blood.. and thoughts began entering my brain again of a shriveled up zombie arm. However, before my thoughts ran too rampant, she yanked the needle out of my arm (OWW!!! THAT SUCKED!!) and told me it was done. No cookies or OJ here. I was sad. Yet happy it was over. My arm hurts and it's only half-shriveled. Which is better than wholely shriveled.

Yay, quizzes!

Bah!!


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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Okay I took the political test and first I got far-right conservation.. I said, F-THAT!! So I took the test again and I got far left-liberal. So I don't think these quizzes are very accurate. bahahahaha!


Ehhh good enough 75%


How azn are u?
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Cool! I didn't even know horse was an option. :)


Horse


What Is Your Animal Personality?
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Well, if you can't keep it in your pants, at least
you're keeping it in the family. Hopefully,
Grima will call the cops on you once he gets to
Isengard.


What Lord of the Rings engrish subtitle are you?
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You're in the Prep box.


What box do you get put in?
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You are a goddess! Powerful and seductive, you
sometimes sit back and wonder at those poor
people's tiny minds. Not too many people know
you, though many worship you from afar, but
your acquaintance is well worth cultivating.


A different quiz, what strange type of person are you?
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