I have a smile
stretched from ear to ear
to see you walking down the road

we meet at the lights
I stare for a while
the world around disappears

just you and me
on this island of hope
a breath between us could be miles

let me surround you
my sea to your shore
let me be the calm you seek

oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so

oh and every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say
and you just walk away

and I forgot
to tell you
I love you
and the night's
too long
and cold here
without you

-s.mclachlan

Last night I dreampt I was on a covert spy team. We were being funded by the russians and I was dressed up in Muslim women's clothing. Ozzy Ozbourne was a part of my team and people called me 'Tiger Balm'. I hijacked a bunch of college papers I didn't want to write. I remember at one point a few guys coming after me with big rock slingshots.. I took one guy out and stole his slingshot.. I remember wondering how to operate that thing. I remember getting further orders from a secret plant that was in the toilet seat.

Yay for f'd up dreams on NyQuil.. awwww yeah.

Still sick.. :(

If i was a Bodily Excretment i would be:

What kind of Excretment are you?

Poo, I think I'm getting sick.. I woke up this morning with a sore throat.

The oddest things happen to me in LA. On a dark and stormy night when I was 18 or so, I was rear-ended by a woman dressed up in flamingo-gear. I kid you not. A few years previous to that, I swear I ran over a 14 foot long king snake in the hills of Palos Verdes. Today I saw a guy driving an ugly truck who could've been a construction worker.. yet he was wearing a big long blonde woman's wig. Within 5 minutes I saw an old guy riding down the street on a tricycle, sporting a bag filled with bags. Bizarre.

If you had happened to be watching the cam on The Strand (Hermosa Beach), you may have seen my mother and I walking this afternoon with China! woohoo, we're famous! Tomorrow we'll be going back to do a little shopping. Look for us.. I'm not sure when we're going, so just watch all day. ;)

My second day of doing nothing. As stated previously, I started reading LOTR and I fell asleep. I was going to Hermosa Beach and walk along the boardwalk, but I thought that would be a better family thing.. so I'll wait until tomorrow or Sunday. Did not work out today.. turning into sloth-like creature.. growing moss.. time is moving slowly..

Hmm.. my first day of doing nothing. I woke up this morning, went to a step class at the gym (which was lame), and now I'm just IM'ing friends who are stuck at work today. muhah. I keep trying to read Book 1 of LOTR but whenever I do, I keep falling asleep :(

Last night I went over to my cousin's (see new link, Miri's blooger) for Christmas dinner. After dinner we went and waxed our arms in the kitchen (while eating chocolate cake!). I found I had this odd pleasure in ripping off wax strips off of my cousin.. what was even more amusing was when my mom came over to see what we were doing and she asked if she could rip off the strips.. and she found great delight in doing so. I guess it runs in the family.

Merry Christmas everyone! Today I spent about 3 hours sleeping.. and about the same time eating. :( This sedentary lifestyle is going to kill me over the next week and a half.. tomorrow is gym time.

I'm just about to leave for my cousin's for Christmas dinner.. to eat more.. omg blah..

I'm at my mom's place in LA! The house is decorated and there's a wonderful Christmas tree in front of the fireplace that turns on with the light switch. Good times.

The ride down wasn't too bad.. less than 6 hours and we would've made it in 5 1/2 if there wasn't traffic in downtown. I was very very sleepy.. last night we saw The Two Towers again and I kept falling asleep, can you believe it?? I remember waking to see the tree ents kicking ass, Frodo cumming, and Gandalf running down the hill with the other riders from Rohan.. then I fell asleep until the end credits. Mark was entertaining though.. he kept me awake by stuffing tissues in his nose. Then we got the idea of making faces like that to riders in the other cars.. many people pretended not to see him.. a few people stared, a few stared and laughed, and one person flicked him off. Quite amusing.

Where oh where have my comments gone? Hmmmm... no matter, I can sense your silent chagrin from here.

This weekend was fun. I went to the Tori Amos concert on Saturday night and had a wonderful time. For the encores people rushed the stage and I was about 15-20 feet away from her. When she sang she looked directly at me.. she loved me!

Smieeeegal neeeeeds the Preeecioussssss

After the concert I went to pick up Mark and he's been hanging out at my place until we go down to the family on Tuesday. For New Year's we'll be attending this. It's this big concert/dance thingamagigger in LA. Normally I wouldn't attend an event like this (see results of disfunctional personality disorder below), but since I'll be with Lizette and a few other close people (Andy, Ayren, Mark, and maybe Miho), I think I'll be able to survive and have a little fun.

Oh yeah, when Frodo feels the power of the ring and his eyes start fluttering.. damn if he doesn't look like he's cumming.. don't you think? Mmmmyeah..


Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
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Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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I know its kind of obnoxious for me to be commenting on my own post.. but I had to point out Faramir's nose. Look at the size of that schnoz!! You know what that means right? Mmmm-hmm.. nawmsayin'.

I also learned today that Elves don't have penises. Sucks to be an elf.

Oh gosh.. this is too too funny.. so very wrong and funny..

Oh boy.. saw the Two Towers last night. It was amazing, incredible, breath-taking.. and I've never seen anything like it before. By far the best movie I've seen this year.. possibly ever! Well, now that I got that out of the way.. (don't worry, if you haven't seen the movie, this post is still safe to read)

I went and saw it with Bob because no one I know embraces their geekiness as much as he does and he was looking forward to this movie just as much as I was. And OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! The horses!!! *insert wistful sigh* Incredible. Shadowfax.. was so beautiful. I was obnoxious though and had to point out to Bob the white neck ring that was visible in some of the scenes and the saddle that you caught a glimpse of under Gandalf's robe (he was supposed to be riding saddleless and bridleless).

..EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee, and one of the first scenes in itself!! The one after the panoramic view of the snow-capped mountains ("Previously on Lord of the Rings...") where Gandalf is fighting while falling with the Balrog. Holy crap! I was almost bouncing in my seat, "Did you see that??? OMG!"

Faramir, who is Boromir's brother is insanely hot. Someone please buy me the Faramir figurine with the sword-wielding action. Geezus. He's hot. Did I say that already? (excuse me for a few moments) Let's analyze for a few moments. I'd want Faramir to do me. Legolas, however, as hot as he is.. is kind of an elvish pretty boy. He's be fun to mess around with, but when it comes down to it.. I want to get dirty with Faramir. Oh man.. I want to lick him.



When I came home and saw my little China following me wherever I went.. I thought of her as my little Gollum, "Maaaasterrrr.. maaasterr is so greattt... will not trrrryyyyy the triiiiiiiickerryy on weeee, maaassssterrr". However, I do not have The Precious and if she wanted to kill me, she would have done it by now.

omegod.

< angry rant >

I saw something this morning that really REALLY pissed me off.

I don't get angry easily.. it's hard to invoke enough rage in me to incyte a reaction.. but when you abuse animals or children, who have no defense against an adult, THAT GETS ME MAAAAD!!

As I was driving into work today, a woman in her Volvo cut me off. No big deal.. I don't get mad - usually I'll mutter something like "gheylord FOCKER!" under my breath or something like that. So.. she cuts me off and drives slow.. one of my pet peeves. Dude, if you have the audacity to be obnoxious enough to cut someone off, act like you're in a hurry and catch up to the car in front of you!

Anyways. That wasn't what set me off. What set me off.. was that there were two little blond children sitting in their car seats in the back, and the woman in the car WAS SMOKING!!!!! She obviously was puffing away like a madman, every few seconds she'd tap her little white stick of poison out the window.. and very rarely did I see any smoke escape... so all that smoke had to be going SOMEWHERE!! You know where it was going? Into those little blond kids' lungs.. *that's* where they were all going. I could only imagine what it'd be like to pick one of those kids up, hug them and inhale the scent of stale smoke.. through no fault of theirs.

GRRR.

I wanted to drive next to her and YELL at her for inflicting that upon her children.

< /angry rant >

For the first time in a long time, it took me a while to get to sleep last night. I was excited. You may ask, What got you soooo worked up that you couldn't sleep?? Well, I will answer you my dear friend, it's a movie!! WOOOOOOO I've never been so excited about a movie before.. but the first one just BLEW me away so I've been eagerly anticipating this next one, watching previews whenever they come on the television. I will be watching it tomorrow !! Eeee.. so excited!! (insert girly jumping and screaming here) Yes, I am slowly becomming obsessed.. I want to buy merchandise. You know, you can buy the Fellowship broach and Elvish necklace from their website? Most of the stuff you can buy looks pretty cool.. except for these. :(

Can you believe Christmas is next week? Well, thank you to whoever bought me the LOTR book -- I'll be spending my time reading.. my goal is to read the whole book. I haven't read anything in the past few years besides horse books and the Harry Potter series.. so it may take a while for my reading neurons to build and make those connections again. I'm a dork.

According to the personal trainer I've been working with, I have 22.5% body fat. I was measured on a contraption that she had and I'll be measured again at the end of 6 weeks time. This figure seems like a bunch of bull to me. According to the American Concil of Fitness, this chart says that I'm in a 'Fitness' classification with a body type as Normal. Uhmmm.. that does not seem right.. have they seen my thighs? My stomach? My arms? Very wrong. Blah.

Ass or Elbow? I got a 12/14. Stolen from Brian's blogger.. he's quite amusing.

This morning I saw a bumper sticker that read, "My other ride is from Good Vibrations." Hmm. I'm not sure I'd be advertising that on my car.. but who am I to judge? Oh wait, that *is* my job.

Today is the 17.. which means I have 14 days to go and I will be successfully celibate! (hmm.. that sounds strange) I am so much happier now that I made this decision. Just hanging out with friends without the pressure of dating in itself is a BIG load off my back. My roommate just broke up with her boyfriend as well, but she's on the opposite side of the spectrum (wild woman).

I ventured outside my lines recently and responded to an ad on craiglist. The ad was from a 26 year old girl looking for another girl to attend the Tori Amos concert this Saturday. What the hey, I thought.. I responded and it turns out she's from Walnut Creek too! We met last night and she seems very normal, a little quiet and shy.. but we seemed to have a lot in common. She's not a lesbian either. =)

I was thinking to myself what is considered normal? When I meet people from online I often wonder to myself if I'm considered normal by the other person. I've always crossed lines.. although it's not a habit of mine. I test myself and experiment to see if my horizons can be broadened by expanding those lines.. but oftentimes they're not what I want. However, just having those experiences themselves -- could they be constituted as abnormal? I mean.. some of the situations I've been through could be considered shocking to some. I could really write a novel with everything that has gone on in my life.

Now speaking of compatibility.. do I want someone who is "normal"? ...Who has never crossed those lines? I wouldn't know if that person would be able to accept me with the lines I've crossed. Perhaps I would get along best with someone who has crossed lines, but not necessarily the same ones.. diversity attracts, doesn't it? Ahhh well, just random thoughts.

I love my work/chat buddies:

jsrha: How's the burrrrrito? Farting yet?
aary33: as we speak!
jsrha: Mmmmmmm..
jsrha: if I asked, would you stick a bean in your pants?
aary33: depends what kind o bean it was
jsrha: one of your burrito beans
aary33: um, only if u would eat it afterwards
jsrha: mail it to me and I will eat it
aary33: okay--
aary33: its gonna taste like the envelop ehough
jsrha: not your pants?
aary33: lol--
jsrha: would you stick it in your butt and walk around with it all day like that?
aary33: nah, itd be farted out right quick
aary33: no point to that
jsrha: how about tucked under the boys?
aary33: ok, that mihgt work
jsrha: the hairs will keep it in place
aary33: dam, you soundlike uve done it beofre
jsrha: you're gross
aary33: youre the grossest
jsrha: whaa
aary33: like an old persons old brown mole thing hangin from his nose with a big ass hair hangin off of it
jsrha: a gangrenous tumor hanging from someone's neck oozing with green pus and buzzing with flies?
aary33: youre so gross youd suck on that
jsrha: You'd milk it and put it in your coffee as creamer
aary33: youd suck out all the pus, put it in the oven to harden and makea bust of yourself with it
jsrha: you'd squeeze it until all the nasty cottage cheese came out and you'd use it as a facial mask along with the cucumbers on your eyes
aary33: youd pull the hair out of theold guys mole, and use it to floss your teeth with--
jsrha: you'd knit it into a pillow case cover and sleep with it everynight, cuddling it tenderly
aary33: thats not gross
aary33: im the grossest!!! wohooooooooooooooo!
aary33: women are so easy!

Well, gosh.. I don't really have anything clever or interesting to write about today.. so you can move on to your next webpage if you're looking to be entertained. Thank you, come again.

However, if you're dying to read what I did this weekend.. went Christmas shopping and I'm all done! Time to wrap and write out my cards.. I love this kind of stuff. =)

We had a fairly big storm.. with thunder and lightening. I'm a wimp so I get a bit frightened when it gets loud. I've been letting China sleep with me on the bed (I know.. bad).. but ever since her doggy friends left, she's been wanting to be near me constantly. It's fairly cold in the evenings so its nice to have her nearby. In the mornings she gets PO'd because I move around to much and leaves.

It's odd.. I've noticed that I move around quite a bit when I'm sleeping. I tend to move UP and OVER to the other side of the bed. I'll wake up in the middle of the night for some reason, realize where I am.. and reset myself.. but in the mornings I find myself in the odd spot again. Maybe my bed is tilted. Or maybe I am.

It disturbs me how many hits I get for this site from the google search: brother sister fucking stories

...

I had a credit on my Motorola phone to get one 'specialized' ring tone.. After perusing through the different songs, there was no doubt in my mind which to get:

o/~
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung.....
o/~

I will never become this desperate to lose weight..

I just found pictures of Isabella's baby! She had one foal with her previous owner/breeder. Look here and scroll down to a horse named 'Kangaroo'. He's a 3 year old.. very small and cute, doncha think? :) I also love the stallion they have on there, 'Hercules'. Beautiful coloring.. for sale for just a mere $16,000. Anyone want to buy me a really nice Christmas present? hee hee

Oh yeah! Someone bought me some LOTR stuff on my wishlist.. (probably Mom) and now I'm obsessively looking to see if anyone bought me more stuff.. I'm a loser!! muhahah...

Yay for quizzes!

LOL

What's your sexual appeal?
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MMMM.mmm..

What Sign of Affection Are You?
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""Which cocktail are you?""
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HAHAH!!! I love these quizzes

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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Shit.. I wasn't even trying for him...

The Ultimate *Which Harry Potter Character are You?* Quiz
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What's YOUR Writing Style?
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Hmm.. I think its time for our weekly self-reflective post..

My self-esteem/self-image is pretty bad.I don't want to bore you all with all the excruciating details of what I don't like about myself.. but to put it simply, I don't even like looking in the mirror. Not at home.. not when I'm walking out on the street.. not when I'm working out at the gym. I can't stand it.

The other night I was sitting at home and a random person on yahoo msg'd me from the 'Equestrian' group. I started looking around to see profiles of other people in this group who were online and found this sweet 17 year old girl I've been talking to. She's very much into horses and her picture is in her profile. Also listed under her 'interests' are anorexia and bulimia nervosa. Under her hobbies she includes 'starving and purging'. In her picture she looks beautiful and skinny.. but she doesn't believe so.. it's actually quite funny when we talk because she compliments me on how pretty she thinks I am (and skinny.. haha FUNNY) and I don't believe a word she says.. and I tell her how cute she looks and she refuses to believe me. Isn't low self-esteem great?

However, its interesting to see where our eating disorders stem from. She doesn't care what anyone else thinks of her.. she believes she's an 'ugly ass' loser that no one would want to befriend anyway.. whereas I obsess and care so much as to how people view my body that it causes me more anxiety than anyone could ever imagine. She meticulously counts calories and makes sure she exercises/purges away anything she eats.. whereas I.. well, I'm getting help.

And it's like.. when I look at us objectively.. she seems like such a sweet soul.. and I feel bad for her because she's a beautiful person and she really has nothing to worry about with the way she looks.. and then I look at me and I think no WONDER I have problems.

Well, anyways.. I've felt like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest since I've decided not to date anymore. I'm looking forward to meeting new friends (I met a guy who I'm showing around Walnut Creek on Sunday because he's buying a house), and hanging around my existing ones (going to see Nemesis this weekend with a guy friend, then Two Towers next week with another friend). Last night I hung out with my roommates then watched Swordfish on HBO while the male roommate made a cake. How domestic! I'm going to be that girl that has a bunch of guy friends but will remain single forever! haha.. well, this probably won't be funny in a year or so but at least I'm happy right now.

What the hell?


Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
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Stress + Chocolate = Big Ass Pimples

As of today I no longer have a peanut butter fetish. My peanut butter phase, as fun as it was.. is gone. The mind is a powerful thing.. for some reason I envision peanut butter as the egg field of all things gross and hatching.. and now I don't have quite the enthusiasm as I did for the stuff. Plus for lunch I made myself a sandwich slathered with peanut butter and blackberry jam (which I hate) and now I'm completely sick of it. UGH. I had to change my msn profile.

I moved up from number 4 as the top google search hit for 'brazilian wax photos'! Yay me.. oh yeah, someone else found this site by searching for 'mangina photos' which I thought was amusing.

You are 17% geek

OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

It's raining! My commute this morning was an hour and 20 minutes when normally (without traffic) it will take me about 35 minutes to get in. *sigh* It's days like this I seriously consider moving closer to Berkeley. I live out in the boonies in Walnut Creek and it took me 1/2 an hour just to get to the freeway today. However... I live a minute down the street from Isabella and China has a huuuge yard to play in and chase squirrels.. but days like today make the trade offs lean towards finding another place.

21 days to go! No problem... :)

A few interesting anecdotes from this weekend:

Yesterday I went to a kickboxing class in the morning. One of the participants was this beautiful blonde girl with big boobs.. who didn't wear a sports bra. She clearly used the class to show off her wares to the oggling guys in the gym and she delighted in this tossing her hair around and batting her eyes to whomever may be watching. Usually I just roll my eyes and go on my merry little way.. but as the class began, I was delighted to notice she had no sense of rhythm whatsoever.. she looked like Elaine on Seinfeld trying to dance. Quite amusing.. I guess we all can't be perfect, eh?

Afterwards I rode Isabella then took China to Pt. Isabel dog park. At one point I picked up a stick and threw it.. and China - always eager to fetch - ran over to the stick, spent a great deal of time sniffing it.. and ultimately decided not to pick it up.. UGH. Of course I smelled my fingers and couldn't smell anything.. but it must've been pretty foul for her not to pick it up. YUCK!!...

I then went to dinner and saw 'Solaris' with a friend. The movie was quite wierd.. and I would say NOT worth the money to see. Slow and predictable... although there were a few scenes that would've made nice desktop photos.

22 days to go! No problem... ;)

Shamelessly stolen.. cuz it's funny:

Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck! May all 0ur
base someday be belong to you! May j00 0wn earth just
like j00 0wn heaven. Give us this day our warez, mp3z,
and pr0n through a phat pipe. And cut us some slack
when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz
when they act lame on us. Please don't give us root
access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed
off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you
could keep the f3i off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3n 4ever and ever, 4m3n.

Last night I went to my first spinning class at the gym. The people in my class were just insane! There I was in my corner on my little Schwinn, cruising down the country road and enjoying the view on my leisurely bike ride.. and here come the other participants racing down the alley, butts up in the air moving their legs as if they were disjointed from their bodies.. how the heck they moved that fast, I have no idea. I had a little bit of difficulty because my legs are short.. when the instructor told everyone to stand up and pedal, the seat would rape me, even though it was adjusted all the way down. That, combined with wearing underwear that crept up on me all day long yesterday left with me with the biggest wedgie of all wedgies after the hour of insanity.

These past couple of weeks I've been blessed by the zit gods with clear skin. However, a few days ago the zit gods spit on me and gave me a few blemishes for me to anguish over.. they must have a sense of humor because one is right smack dab in between my eyes. I look like I'm posing to be an Indian girl. :(

I'm not even sure what slash fanfiction is... but I guess I'm going to hell because of it.


Why Will You Go To Hell?
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You Are An Intense Kisser!

Deep tounging, nibbling, and locking lips for hours are on your agenda.

You've been known to wear lovers out with your kiss,

before getting to anything else on the menu.

And given that you kiss so well... imagine how you do everything else.



How Do *You* Kiss?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

You Are a Moderate Madame!

You've heard of occasional vegetarians, who mainly prefer vegetables, but just
can't resist their needs for meat once in a while.


That's how kinky sex is for you.


No one would dare classify you as prude.


You've done your share of experimentation, and you've found some things you like.



Are *You* Kinky? Click Here to Find Out!

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Mmmmm...Your Boobs Are Perfect!

Shapeley, firm, and a total man pleaser. Well, at least for now.

Remember that beauty fades (unless you have a fake pair)!

Your perfect breasts eventually will go sour - and South!



Do *You* Need a Boob Job? Click Here to Find Out!

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

This is my friend Chris who I just linked. He lives in Berkeley and entertains me while I'm bored at work.
<------

>jsrha: I'm bored
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: me too
jsrha: cybar?
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: ok dewd
jsrha: you be the girl
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: i always have to be the girl
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: fine
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: uh my pussy is so weeetttttttt so very very dripping weeetttt mmmm yeah baby
jsrha: :( I'm at work.. use euphemisms
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: what you don't like? i'm turning you on aren't i
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: oh i'm sorry
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: my box of love is hot and steamy for you baby
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: my nipples, I mean sucklers of the gods are standing at attention just thinking about your holy impaler
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: i mean penis
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: i mean holy impaler
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: am i doing a good job?
jsrha: wow you're good at this
jsrha: do you practice?
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: yeah
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: oh you mean this? no
jsrha: oh
jsrha: I do
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: ooooookkkkkkkk
jsrha: :|
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: talk hot to me
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: i am so worked up i could explode all over the walls of my cubicle in a shower of worked up explodiness
jsrha: I want to give you a peanut butter enema..
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: mmm i like peanuts
jsrha: and have you spit it out on some french bread
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: crunchy or smooth?
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: spit it out of my ass?
jsrha: so I could eat it with some loganberry jam.. Mmmmm yeah
jsrha: yes out of your ass, keep up!!
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: mmmm my balls, i mean my crevice of nectar is piping hot like a tea pot that is being served at the chinese embassy with american politicians inside it
jsrha: Uhmm.. hello you're a GIRL!!
jsrha: nm i read that wrong
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: i said crevice of nectar
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: i got confuseed but i corrected myself
jsrha: sorry
jsrha: yeah I'm confused too
jsrha: can I be a dog?
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: STAY IN THE MOMENT GOD DAMMIT
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: now i have to get myself hot again
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: sheep
jsrha: ok
jsrha: *walks into the room looking a bit confused*
jsrha: *goes baaaa?*
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: oh you're a sheep
jsrha: yes, geezus
jsrha: keep up..
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: i grab your spindly legs, pulling them apart in a flurry of lust and excitement
jsrha: *baa! BAAAA!!!!* *emits a string of poo in panic*
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: as I slowly rub my prong along the hinds of your quarters, I chew on my piece of hay that I brought with me
jsrha: your prong? wtf you're a girl
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: noticing your excitement i shove your face in the poo, your nose takes in the intracacies of your own fecal waste
jsrha: ok that's sick
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: dewd i'm a farmer right now
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: you started it
jsrha: no you did
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: you get offended too easily
jsrha: no you do
mrguydewdwhousestheinterweb: I pwned you dewd

Yeah okay.. we're both disturbed.

By far the most badass website I've ever seen!

I notice when I'm content with things in my life I don't have as much to write about.. but of course my idle mind can think of random thoughts deemed worthy of written word (in my opinion at least) =)

If I were gay, I'd be sooo into twinks. Hmm.. my track record with guys this year have been with the "younger" crowd which goes along with this preference. There's something about the sweet innocence of boys that make me rawrr.. or at least the outwardly appearance of innocence (but this doesn't necessarily mean I'm attracted to pansies).. and if there's a wild streak hidden in there, even better! For the longest time I wanted to be able to corrupt someone... but we won't get into that.. I think that's why I like people to think I'm a bit evil. tee hee..

And the countdown begins.. 26 days. Very strange occurrance this morning.. I went to take my birth control pill and there was one missing. I think I started this pack a day early and I didn't realize it until today. No matta - !

Did you know that little girl who starred with Macaulay Culkin in "My Girl" is now all grown up and working for Zagat as a food critic? Well she's 22 years old now and so FRIGGIN HOT.. with those big lips and beautiful blue eyes. If I weren't straight she'd be my girlfriend. She's kind of a twink isn't she? Can girls be twinks?

Congrats to Lizette for getting that VA job..!! yay!

Uhh.. two throw up quiz references in a row.. that's never good.

Last night I went and saw Die Another Day with my male roommate. On the way over there, we were talking about male/female relationships.. romantic and friendships. Have you heard of the Ladder Theory? It's quite interesting.. take the time to read it! Basically what it says is that women automatically put men into one of two ladders: the first - the friendship ladder, the second - the "real" ladder (possible relationships). Men only have one ladder: the fuckable ladder. Of course there are variations according to individuals. Buuut as far as friendships go.. the website states, "IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS". I was talking about this with said roommate, and he was talking about beautiful women, etc.. and at one point he said he thought I was "very beautiful". I was like.. whaaaat? I thought I heard wrong. I've been complimented by guys/girls before when they saw my photo online, but I always tell people when I'm complimented, "that is one moment captured in time.." For that moment, I was cute or whatever.. but do I consider myself a beautiful person? Well.. that's why I'm seeing a therapist I guess. I was suprised.. but at the same time I felt a bit uncomfortable.. because he's definitely right smack in the middle of the friendship ladder. Previous to his compliment we were talking about friends hitting on friends as well.. and I told him my guy friends pretty much stay on the friendship ladder (with very rare exceptions).. and if there is a guy I put on the 'real' ladder, very rarely does he move over to the friendship ladder.. most likely if he is to move, he'll fall into the abyss (but most likely its me in the abyss most of the time.. this year it has been anyway). haha.

On a different note, believing in yourself, building stronger character and knowing you're loved for who you are.. those are traits I would've scoffed at if someone asked be about them a few months ago. I'm not sure what's snapped in me these past couple of days.. but I can see that I'm much stronger emotionally and mentally right now than I have been this year (about time, you say!). I've found a sense of peace which I haven't had before. I'm working out, eating well, and taking better care of my body.. this self-destructive mode I was in.. I'm not sure if I'm over it yet.. but I'm taking preventive measures to stop myself before it happens.

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention.. I'm going to be celibate until the end of the year.. yay me. Well, it's only 27 days, but still..

My insulting name is Pusjuice Brachiosaur!
What's yours?

My Mormon name is Juliene DaRhonda!
What's yours?

What kind of drunk are you?


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I love this picture..

HIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do I always do this to myself.......

Last night I was flipping through channels and saw that 'Hannibal' was playing on HBO. "Bad idea, Julienne.." I thought. buuut I watched it anyway while I putzed around the internet and re-read my Harry Potter book. As I'm getting ready for my shower I notice that the gory scenes are coming up.. the TV is fairly loud because my space heater and air filter are buzzing away.. so I hurry up and get undressed and into the shower because I don't want to watch. Unfortunately I can still hear the TV from the shower. :( The sounds of the boars eating the people.. the people screaming and being disembowled. UGH. I'm getting more and more freaked out.. but I'm brave.. I finish up and leave the shower.. dreading the fact that I have to go outside to walk China one last time before bed. I lock up all the doors after she does her business (while I look suspiciously out into the darkness for any octogenarian-types with a penchant for human flesh) and climb into bed.. scaring myself with memories of people screaming and getting gored.

Nice huh?

Aside from that fact, I slept quite well.. despite a dream I was being chased by a homeless guy who wanted to kill me.

I had a great Thanksgiving with my family in Los Angeles. The drive down and back was bearable, albeit a bit rough on the body. Both days Mark and I woke up early in the morning (we're talking pre-dawn here, folks) and made the trip in less than 6 hours, not too shabby I must say.

Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful.. everyone fell asleep after dinner and when I woke up at 9pm, all the family was gone! It was a little strange.. I had even bought Trivial Pursuit 20th Century edition to play with everyone and now it goes unused, sitting at the bottom of my truck.

Friday morning I went to the local Bally's to work off some of the previous evening's gorge-fest. It was interesting to note all the fake boobies I saw.. when I first walked into the locker room, there were about 5 buff bodied, silicon-implanted women in various stages of undress chatting away. I quickly put my stuff away and went to the main room where I jogged alongside a petite women in her 30s. This woman was amazing.. she ran for over an hour very quickly and her boobs did not budge one inch! Yay for fake body parts.

Saturday morning I had breakfast with Miho - it was sooo good to see her again! I missed you, girl!! It's rare to find that type of friendship where you can just sit and talk about anything and not feel self-conscious or wierd about it.. and it just felt so good to be able to talk to someone like that and know that you're loved and accepted. We've been friends for over 10 years.. wow.

What happens when someone you've been talking to stumbles across your webpage? I've been trying to play most innocent and nice.. but eek!, he did a search for me and found my page! Hmm.. well, I don't blame him for wanting to know more about me.. but it is a little embarrassing. I guess.. this is a fairly accurate depiction of me with a few embellishments here and there. I am growing quite fond of him.. he's very different from the others I've dated this year. I guess I feel he's seen a bit of the vulnerable side of me which hasn't really been exposed in our conversations as of yet.. Plus feelings I've had with past relationships... A picture of my boobs!! Aiiiieeeeeyaa--well, this is me.

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