Wednesday, July 31, 2002

Today I'm headed to Lake Chabot with my work group for a fun day off.. but I'm at work at the moment *sigh*. I'll write more tonight..

Tuesday, July 30, 2002

Okay because I was on a webcam picture taking spree here are some more pictures. These were taken without me doing anything to my hair.. so check out the nice fro action.



Alright, I was bored.. here are some photos. I don't know if you can tell anything from these.. but I was just getting ready to work out. There's your obligatory boob shot!



So the pimple thing is under control now.. my back is one thousand folds better and I'm not getting those huge nasty ones on my face now. Yay for my pimple arsenal!

Goals for tonight: exercise, pack AT LEAST one box, hmm.. doesn't seem like much, but it'll be good if I can get those done.

Apparently I have a nice ass.. :)

I tried on my old jeans this morning.. they're so big you can pants me with them! Just don't take my underwear along with them. Otherwise, pants ahead!

For some reason I'm getting a lot of hits for this picture for the google image search for 'asian boys'.

How sad.. my guestbook doesn't seem to be accepting entries except for the new one from dave. Poopoo... sad day.

Let the bodies hit da flo'

Monday, July 29, 2002

I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
'cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay
'cause I could take you in my arms
And never let go

I could fall in love with you

I can only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if i take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still

so I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
And i know it's not right
so I guess i should try
To do what I should do
But I could fall in love with you

Friday, July 26, 2002

Wow, this article is umm.. HOT!

I was chatting with a friend that I play Quake3 with the other night. He's 31, lives in Texas, and he'll be getting married in the Spring next year. He's been with his fiance for 3 years and they met through a church singles group. Both him and his fiance had some rough relationships in the past.. so when they met each other, they decided to do things differently this time. To build a solid, strong foundation, they left the physical part out of their relationship until they became engaged, and even now, they are holding off mostly until their wedding. This was a mutual decision to develop a friendship and bond first based purely on a mental connection.. before spending the rest of their lives together.

In my mind, this is something that I would be keen on doing. One of my greatest fears is feeling used by a guy physically, yet I realized that I use sex to have guys want me.. whether I like them or not (a recent epiphany in my life!). The problem would be, of course, self-control.. by nature, I am impulsive and brash. I am a strong believer in seizing opportunities as they come.. Carpe Diem! Unfortunately this has its downsides.. I am not always able to see the long term consequences of my actions. However, I view each "mistake" as a learning opportunity.. I try not to regret anything that I do, but rather use the knowledge I've gained to prevent similar errors in the future.

For now, I don't have any objection to messing around and enjoying myself. However, if I did meet the right person.. someone I knew I wanted to be with and perhaps spend the rest of my life with one day.. I would consider this.

Ooops, I missed my nutritionist appointment last night..

Taking care of all the critters is tough. Not only am I taking care of all the animals (3 cats, 2 dogs, 2 horses), I've also been taking care of the 2 cats across the street. Between all that I've been trying to work out and think about what I should pack first. I'm planning on taking some of the clothes that I am not wearing right now (winter stuff) over to the new place this weekend along with books to store in the garage.

It's kind of nice having the place to myself. I worry a little bit about being alone.. I always double check to make sure all the doors and windows are locked when I'm home. It's reassuring to have the dogs there in case anything happened. This weekend is pretty open. Tonight I'm going to go rent a few movies and do the couch surfing thing. I've been wanting to see "Chasing Amy" for a long time. Tomorrow and Sunday I'll probably ride.. stop by Old Navy and Trader Joe's.. and Sunday evening I'll probably do dinner and a movie with Sharon. Insert moving crap and there's my weekend!

Doooood - I'm so exciting...

Thursday, July 25, 2002

I was a little productive last night..!

There have been piles of papers sitting around the house..I'm a little disorganized so I had all my bill receipts, important papers, insurance, bank statements, etc just piling up this year. I never used to be like this I swear! So I sorted through all of them, filed the important papers away, recycled the rest. I came out with a few treasures!! Yay for TRESHA!

1. One Strawberry Tootsie Pop - contrary to popular belief, it was promptly eaten, not stuck up my ass. It was about 10 months old.. but hey, hard candy doesn't go bad right?
2. Old Navy Gift Card - from Mark, unknown amount. Yay, I'll have something to do this weekend.. shop for new clothes. This is good because jeans I just got a few weeks ago which were a size lower than I normally wear are getting loose for me now.
3. Gift certificate for 1 pound of Sees chocolate - yum. I should probably get this AFTER I buy my new jeans.

Mom and Mark are headed for a week in Korea tomorrow.. I'll miss them!! But I'll be happy that Mark will be moving up here soon after he gets back. I told Mom to buy me necklaces and earrings.. fun stuff.

I'm sorry Lizette for overreacting.. I hope you understand the circumstances surrounding my reaction. Anyways, I don't want to fight with you.. I need you in my life! Heh, this must be a first.. apologizing to your sister over blogger. But I know she'll read this probaby before her email or phone, whatever.

I spoke to Miho for the first time in a while last night on the phone.. we had an awesome conversation. I'm so lucky to have her in my life.. talking to your best friend is therapeutic and she couldn't have called at a better time. I don't think she reads this, but I love you girl!!

In my July 12th entry I mentioned a guy. I don't talk about him very often because my feelings for him are one of the very few things I've kept private from this journal. I mention him now because I just need to keep reminding myself to forget about those feelings.. I was doing just fine ignoring them and moving on with my life. But how can I forget about them when he contacts me and jokes around about moving up to Washington? Damn you. Don't say it unless you mean it.

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Right now.. I'm majorly stressed out of my freakin' mind.

Money, moving, this stupid fight I'm having with Lizette. Having to take care of all the animals this week.. PACKING ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sigh* It's been a tough week and I'm doing all that I can to not just break down and cry and forget everything. That's the thing.. I deal with conflict by not dealing with it.. avoiding it. And my problems right now can't be avoided.. why? Because I'm by myself.. I have to step up and take responsibility. As much as I'd like to, I can't ignore them. At least last night I was able to go on a peaceful ride on Isabella. She is my sanctuary right now. Ever since that ride I had on her this past weekend where I gabbed her ear off, I've been talking to her more. Last night I told her how awesome of a horse she was and how much I loved her.. and she proceeded to step on my foot.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

I've had more chocolate in the past 3 days than I've had in the past 3 months. I need an Isabella fix.. :(

Monday, July 22, 2002

Oh I got two more weapons for my zit fighting arsenal:

1. Origins Foundation - Nude. The people at the Origins counter are so nice! I went in totally broken out and this lady talked to me and helped me 'reset' my skin tone. Its very light and it covers nicely along with some powder.. it doesn't aggravate my skin either.. holy crap, only $15 too.. much cheaper than Clinique!
2. Origins Exfoliating Toner. Oh my gosh.. this stuff is awesome. It sloughs off dead skin and really gets into your pores, clearing them out. No alcohol in it either so it feels really fresh on your skin. THIS IS GREAT!!!! I use it morning and night now before I put lotion or makeup on my face.. and I was amazed at how much dirt I was going to bed with on my face even through I clean with Clearasil Face wash in the shower.

My face is so much clearer today... too bad I can't say the same for my back yet.

Ok, so I've been dreading having to write this.. but I will just for your entertainment.

Alright, so I did go on a date yesterday.. it sound so strange, me going out on a date. Anyways.. I decided to try out one of the online personals, lavalife. I thought, what the hell.. I don't meet that many guys normally in person.. so I'll give this a try. Online personals do have their advantages over meeting someone in person. You can look at a lot of guys, look at the age category you want, and immediately weed out the ones that you're not interested in without having to hurt people's feelings.

So I met this guy.. exchanged photos, and started talking to him online. It was hard to gauge how we clicked online.. sometimes it seemed we were on two different planes.. but we had a few good conversations. We talked on the phone.. clicked better, had some great conversations. So we decided to meet in San Francisco Sunday evening. I won't go through all the details.. but GEEZUS it was really awkward. Without a set agenda in mind, I felt like I was always saying, "So what do you want to do now?" "Want to do this?" Ugh.. I don't want to have to make the decisions all the time. Are first dates always like this??

It didn't seem like we clicked in person. He didn't look like his photo.. not that it was bad.. but I was imagining and expecting a different person. Anyways, the awkwardness of dating.. the uncomfortable silences.. that's what I'm not looking forward to in my future dating adventures. Then I got off BART and was walking to my truck.. and this guy approaches me, asks me for the time, then tries to make conversation with me about what I was doing in SF, him having to work on a Sunday, etc.. I was like.. go away.. please. I've had enough of small talk.. GAHAH!H!!!! I hate small talk.

So I got home.. chilled out for a little bit, hopped online.. he was on so we exchanged a few cordial messages back and forth.. but I don't think anything will happen from it.

I know it was only one experience.. but online dating has put a bad taste in my mouth. My date wasn't a horrible experience.. just an uncomfortable one. I was completely out of my element and I felt forced to talk. The thing is, I shared a lot of myself to this person and now its not going to work.. now in the future, how much of myself do I want to invest in each guy I talk with before meeting the person? I'm thinking if I'm ever going to meet another person from an online meeting that I should do it right away before investing any feelings or emotions.. cuz I did like the guy. Ah well, c'est la vie. It seems the only other guys I'm interested physically in that site live on the east coast anyway!

I was talking to a guy friend of mine last night who recently got done with a 10 year relationship with his girlfriend this past year. He's been a big match.com'r and he's met over 3 dozen women through that site.. I can't imagine meeting that many people and having to small talk with all of them.. small talk is my enemy..

Friday, July 19, 2002

Exciting night last night...

First I went into my nutritionist's for the weekly weigh in. I don't weigh myself at home because I don't want to get all depressed if I gain weight.. so I always wait for the actualy office visits. I lost another 2 1/2 pounds from last week.. yay! I was a bit suprised at first because I got on the scale and I thought it was the same amount as last week.. but then I compared my printouts and saw that I lost.. woooohoooo! Even with my brother visiting and the BBQ and Spaghetti Factory I was able to lose weight. Yay for me!

Then I went to visit Isabella.. she was a good girl. I was waiting for this guy Chris to call me because he had a room available in a house just down the street from where Isabella is boarded. I checked the place out.. its a small house, but with a huge backyard. He owns a doggy day care facility next door and he has 2 dogs himself.. so China would be able to play with them all day. The actual room I would be renting is small.. I think barely enough space for my bed and the computer desk. But the house seems to be peaceful.. Chris is very nice.. and he says the 3rd roommate, Shawna is really overly nice. AT&T Broadband will be accessible to all rooms soon.. and there's even a little pool in the backyard. What's the catch you say.. well, I had to pay August plus prorated a week in July and I won't actually be moving in until mid-August. So I'm going to be a little strapped for cash. The room was in pretty high demand.. and it seemed perfect for me, so I didn't pass it up.

Yay, I'll be moving soon. Not that I hate Bob.. I don't. But we really need to seperate our lives if we're to move on. I know he reads my journal so I'm wondering if I should even write about dating in here. What do you think people???

Thursday, July 18, 2002

Do you say 'hehe' a lot online? If so, you may consider joining "hehe, a clique for people who.. use "hehe" constantly online".

Or maybe you say Muwahahaha.. perhaps in plans of world domination? In that case, you should join this clique.

Wednesday, July 17, 2002

I have products in my zit fighting arsenal.
1. Birth control pills. I started breaking out when I quit using them.. so I'm on them again.
2. Neutrogena acne control body wash. Contain sialytic (sp?) acid.. it's a scrub also.
3. Neutrogena acne patches. These little doohickies are like stickers you put on zits. You wear them overnight.. I'm going to wear mine for a day. I have two of these little buggers on my back right now.
4. Freeman purifying clay mask. Supposedly draws all impurities out of my skin.. I'll use it on my face and back. Isa says I'm completely drying out my skin with all the products that I'm using/going to use. She hasn't seen my back! I asked her to pop some pimples for me yesterday but she refused. I don't get it.. she'll look at mouse tumors in lung tissue all day, but she doesn't even want to see the pimples on my back.

Being with my brother makes me hipper and cooler. I learned last night there is some sort of "sea dance" that people do that looks really cool. The Crips in downtown LA made it up.. and it looks really cool. yeah.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

An interesting ad I found on craigslist in the community section:

Reply to: anon-4700241@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jul 15 10:12:00 2002


My boyfriend passes gas when he gets up to pee every morning. This is something I'm not familiar with (I've had my share of different men getting up to pee in the morning and to my knowledge, passing gas didn't always accompany the urinating). Anyway, he says it's common. So I thought I'd find out... is this really common or is he full of hot air?! Thanks in advance for your response.


it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
this is in or around earth

Ok, I had to add this one in also:

Reply to: anon-4268253@craigslist.org
Date: Tue Jun 18th 04:58


Wanted! Somebody to go back in time with me!

THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You will get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons! Extensive computer skills are required.

Saefty is not guaranteed. I have only done this TWICE before.
Last guy who answered did not return home with me.

ONLY SERIOUS RESPONSES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plan to leave in a few weeks.




Other ways to contact poster:



it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
this is in or around desert, Arizona

Falling in love.. it's a feeling I haven't felt in a long long time. Do I want to fall in love again? Certainly.. but when is it too soon to be healthy? Rebounding is definitely not what I'm looking for.. but it would be nice to have a relationship again. I'm not even sure what I want in a relationship right now. A physical relationship would be fulfilling on one level only (obviously), but an emotional one wouldn't be fair to the other person.. because I wouldn't know if I wanted to commit to one person so soon. What would my criteria be? What if he was everything I wanted.. but had a lousy job.. and wouldn't be able to support his family? What if he had a brilliant job, treated me like I was the most important person in his world, but we weren't soulmates? Is compromise a part of falling in love?

[edit] I just reread my entry.. and I'm going to have to answer my own question. You shouldn't have to compromise your ideals when you fall in love.. that's the mistake I just made. If there is one thing I've learned its to learn from your mistakes and improve yourself upon your next challenge in life. I guess then my question would be.. what is okay to be compromised..

Monday, July 15, 2002

Hehehe.. check out this conversation I just had in the SF MSN Chat room:

RedWoodCityDawg316 : hey
RedWoodCityDawg316 : where in cali?
Akasha1_ : Wow that girl in your photo has big hooters
RedWoodCityDawg316 : lol
RedWoodCityDawg316 : shes one of my good friends
RedWoodCityDawg316 : and shes only 15
RedWoodCityDawg316 : so where in cali r u?
Akasha1_ : wow
Akasha1_ : walnut creek
Akasha1_ : are they natural??
RedWoodCityDawg316 : yeah
Akasha1_ : geezus
RedWoodCityDawg316 : her mom was a penthouse/playboy girl in the 70'2
Akasha1_ : girls are maturing fast these days
Akasha1_ : no way
RedWoodCityDawg316 : *70's
Akasha1_ : whoa
RedWoodCityDawg316 : yeah
RedWoodCityDawg316 : but ur really hot urself
Akasha1_ : thank you
RedWoodCityDawg316 : so, would u be down 2 fuck? if not, i completely understand
Akasha1_ : HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Akasha1_ : does that line really work???
RedWoodCityDawg316 : from time to time
Akasha1_ : LOL
RedWoodCityDawg316 : but like i said, if ur not interested, i understand...so could i jus get a regular answer?
Akasha1_ : uhmmm lemme think... no
RedWoodCityDawg316 : ok fine...u aint gotta be a smart ass about it
Akasha1_ : LOL good luck in your endevour

Ok, what's the deal with back pimples?? I've never gotten them before this year.. *cry* I hate them.. they are above my bra line so all I can do is glare at them before I get into the shower and sometimes scratch at them. I scrub them, I try and put medicine on the ones I can reach.. but why.. WHY ME????

Right now I have a big one. Thank god Mark is here.. I'm gonna make him pop it when he comes back tomorrow.. he doesn't know this yet.

Yes, I'm sick, I'm gross. I make my loved ones pop the pimples I can't reach. Live with it.

Monday morning! I got up at 6:55am and I was actually the last to wake up in the household. Mark and his friend got up for the Fall Extension orientation at Berkeley at around 5:30am (yikeS!!). China was wandering all around the bedroom because she could hear everyone else up and around.. damn dog wouldn't settle down. At one point she jumped on the bed lied down.. then spent 15 minutes grooming herself, licking, scratching, etc while I was trying to sleep out the next 1/2 hour left on my alarm.

This weekend was very quiet.. Friday and Saturday night I did nothing.. nada.. zilch. I went online and chatted with folks.. I'm getting to understand chat rooms much better now since I've been frequenting the San Francisco msn one for the past few weeks. About 70% of the girls in the rooms aren't actually girls but advertisements for webcam sites. The rest are 17 year old chicks that are bi, and others are 30+ year old women. Most of the guys are there to pick up chicks. There are the ones that private message you with 'asl' even though all that information is in your profile. Then there are the 0.5% that actually make it worth going into the chat rooms. Last week I met a really cool girl from Marin around my age - we chatted a bit then she gave me her number if I wanted to hang out with her sometime (she wasn't gay or bi either). Enough about that already.

Saturday was fun.. took the horses and dogs down to Del Valle and went swimming in the lake. China swam for the very first time in her life.. her doggy paddle was awkward and splashed everyone within a 10 foot vicinity.. but she seemed to really enjoy herself. I'm still sore today from the ride.. oi my thighs!!

Sunday, July 14, 2002

Mark is visiting me right now!!!!!!!!!!! He's downstairs as we speak.. woohoo!!

Saturday, July 13, 2002

Google keywords to this site:

9: nasty open ass with something inside
5: akasha dildo
3: kaila yu groups
2: gyn stirrups
2: "jensen ackles"doubled
2: brazilian wax berkeley
2: milfing
1: strip poker photos
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1: 3 day endurance horse ride california
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1: "smooth coated collie" breeder
1: photos of brazilian waxing
1: peewee's playhouse
1: rocco/porn
1: brazilian wax pic
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1: old mac hoof boots problems
1: "chris isaac - let me down easy"
1: a walk to remember personality quizzes
1: "walk-in oven" sex
1: photos brazilian waxing
1: /flash/waldo.html
1: muscle menage a trois
1: "brazilian wax" pictures
1: "my boobs look"
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mamma.com
1: peewee's playhouse

Friday, July 12, 2002

This post is going to be about boring weight loss stuff.. skip to the end if you want something spicier :)

So.. I had to weigh in at the nutritionists yesterday. I always dread weighing in because the last two times I've gone I've felt really gross and yucky.. like I hadn't lost any weight. The week before I had gone in on a Saturday morning on an empty stomach right after my period - I felt like I was this big old balloon retaining all this fluid. The night before I was hanging out with Sharon and had eaten a bunch of chips and salty.. yummy. Lo and behold.. I had lost 4 pounds from the week previous. So last night when I stepped on the scale, I was dreading it.. the scale they have is very high tech. You step on with bare feet and through an electric current it measures lean body mass vs fat mass. Very cool. I was also anxious because everyone knows that you weigh more at 7:30 in the evening versus 9:30 in the morning! All right.. so last night I discovered I had lost another 2 1/2 pounds.. WHICH IS PRETTY DAMN COOL!!!

I am really loving this.. but being on this program is expensive.. but I think it's a worthy investment. I feel like their ideal patient.. I'm so good at keeping my food balance and exercising every week. Ok, I have a little slip up here and there. Yesterday I had a bit of ice cream at an afternoon meeting, and I also helped myself to chips and salsa at Chevy's for lunch. However, I've been exercising regularly.. and all the weight I've been losing has been mostly fat loss and not lean muscle. If I was starving myself, I would be losing lean muscle.. not fat. The nutritionists keep warning me not to starve myself because my metabolism will slow down and then I won't lose any weight.. hasn't been a problem so far. So I'm really happy I'm doing this.

Self-esteem. My confidence level is pretty good.. I think I'm pretty centered in keeping myself away from destructive behaviors but being able to experiment in life and feel good about it. It's going to take a while before I look in the mirror and be awed by my body.. but I think as long as I keep exercising I'll feel good about myself and know that I'm doing what I can to be fit and happy with my life.

All right now.. breaking news. I haven't mentioned him before on my journal. I've had feelings for someone and I'm now here to publically say that I'm over it. It's not good for me to pursue something that will never happen. I've pretty much let this person have free access to my heart and his own heart has been scarred and hurt so much that he refuses to have anything to do with mine.. so that's it. My feelings for him had nothing to do with my breakup.

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

This is the best site ever. Check it out... now.



One of my better pictures.. :)

Love like you've never been hurt.

I read this a few days after Bob and I called it quits. It has stuck with me and I'm really trying to make this my philosophy in my love life. I realized the posts I made after our breakup were cynical and depressing. But now.. I'm really looking forward to being single again.

So where do I start? Hmm.. I guess I've always been kind of quiet around guys. I avoid eye-contact and laugh away any sort of attempt at flirting with me. I become uncomfortable with attention that I'm not sure that I want.. and I think my weight has been a literal sort of protective layer for me. Now that its becoming less of a factor (working out, eating much less.. I've lost 15 pounds so far, 11 more towards the original goal weight - but I still want to lose more), I'll have nothing to hide behind. This scares me a little bit, but I know its good progress..

I think I tend to scare people with my emotions. Too much too fast maybe? I tend to be like that.. I throw all my emotions into something or someone I find stimulating.. then later I regret going so quickly. You'd think I'd learn because I know this already, but I repeat this pattern. I lay my heart out on the line and wait for something to happen.. There is one thing I've been waiting for.. for a long time.. best things come to those who wait.

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

I'm suprised no one's commented on my weekend... HEEE HEEE HEE!!

Monday, July 08, 2002


TAKE THE QUIZ! @ MALANDI.ORG




You're Leonardo!

You're the undisputed leader in any situation, strong and smart. You take your ninja craft VERY seriously, sometimes to the annoyance of the rest of the gang. You are loyal and sincere, and dislike chaos and disorder. You are very close to your family and like nothing better than sharing a pizza with them after a hard day.

Which Ninja Turtle Are You? Quiz by Irish

This weekend felt very.. very.. long. I was housesitting for Andrea's - I love her place! Pool table, hot tub, trampoline, and tons and tons of movies.

Friday evening I went and looked at that place where I would be able to keep Isabella if I wanted. It seemed really nice.. I liked the guy there and the rooms were huge and airy. Our dogs got along fantastically. However.. it was 10 to 15 minutes of a drive from any sort of town. I was stressed out after I came home from the place, didn't know what to do. What decision to make. Finally after a lot of thought this weekend, I decided not to take the place. I figured, I'm 25, single.. and I need to have some sort of social interaction.. whether it be my friends from the barn or being able to go out into downtown Walnut Creek without it being a huge deal. So I cruised the craigslist ads again, wrote a few people.. and I think I may have found another 25 year old chickie to find a place with.

Sharon came over after that to watch a movie with me.. we spent about 30 minutes trying to get the DVD player to work (Andrea has about 4 remote controls for their entertainment system) and then we sat and watched "The Green Mile". It was an amazing movie.. it touched my heart.. last night I was telling Bob about the movie and tears came to my eyes as I told him the ending.. I recommend everyone out there to see this movie. Simply amazing.

After I dropped off Sharon at home, I went online and chatted for a while with random folks. I was bored outta my ass and I finally went to bed around 2:30am. I had to get up at 8 to weigh in at the nutritionist office. So I get to the office at 9am and I find out my appt is at 9:30am! Argh, how annoying. Anyways, when my appt comes around I tell the woman that I don't think I lost any weight. I had my period the week before and the whole time I felt bloated and gross. Well, it turns out I lost 4 pounds! I couldn't believe it. I'm only 12 pounds away from my original goal weight that they had given me in the beginning.. however, I don't think the goal weight they gave me is what I want to weigh ultimately.. I want to lose more to be happy. I still have about 3 more months on the plan then 2 months of maintenance.

When I got back to Andrea's, I donned my new bathing suit and laid out most of the day. I got a little burnt.. not bad. I read a whole novel, watched about 6 movies, and basically had no human contact with anyone!! It was a little unusual. So I hopped online for a while.. then I did something that I thought I would never, EVER do. I'll leave it at that for now. :) Let's just say I had the whole house to myself and I was up until 4:30am.

In the morning I had to get up early to clean up and be out before Andrea got back.. so I got little sleep like the night before. I got home and slept for another 3 hours. I did a few things, and by the time I got around to eating again, it had been about 22 hours since I last ate. I had some Trader Joe's chicken curry with rice which went RIGHT through me. yay for spicey food!! I went to the barn afterwards, gave my girl a kiss and rode her around for a little bit.

It was a long, fun weekend. :)

Friday, July 05, 2002

Okay I'm getting a little nervous about the money situation. I just checked my checking account and I have a little over $2000 in there. That minus the $2000 check I gave to Bob and the $1350 I owe on my credit card will put me in the negative range.. EEEk. I am definitely waiting until my next paycheck to pay for my credit card. I had a few unexpected payments like Isabella's $600+ vet bill. Plus I accidently paid my carpayment twice... oops. Crap. There's $1000+ right there in unexpected bills that shorted me. Sooooo... Hawaii is a little tenuous right now.. I'll have to see what the next few weeks look like and what the costs of moving will be.

Fuckity YAAAAAAA (stolen from Dark Violet's vocabulary)!!!!

Just spoke to the owner of the place I'm looking at. This place sounds too good to be true. The 2 story house is on 50 acres of winery/ranch land. There are emus and llamas on the property. Right now they are working on the vineyards so there is a lot of equipment lying around.. so I wouldn't be able to move Isabella there right away.. The place has horse trails within walking distance leading into several reservoirs and Briones Regional Park. He has a border collie for China to play with..

Only downside is that it is kind of far from where Bob lives.. so it would take him a while to get there if he wanted to move Tavi out there with Isabella. :( We'll have to see how all this plays out..

What am I doing here at work... why... why... why..

I fixed the link.. here is the ad for the place I'm looking at. I've been calling the guy, I left him one message on Wednesday but he hasn't gotten back to me. So I call.. let the phone ring.. and if the answering machine picks up I hang up. I don't want to be obsessive, but I really want to see the place! Am I being obsessive? I tend to get obsessive sometimes if I really want something.

I've been reading a few other bloggers here and there.. thought I would post the links:

A funny Korean college Chick
This girl's amazing weight loss journey
Another girl on her journey to weight loss
And I've posted this guy's link before.. I love his poems! Jason, buy some toilet paper already!

I go into the nutritionist to get weighed in tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it because I have my period and I feel like a blimp. :( I am definitely feeling healthier now.. I'm now at 45 minutes on the stairclimber 3x a week plus I'm riding a lot more at faster speeds for longer periods of time. I feel a lot more energetic and I want to eat healthier foods.. like salads and vegetables. Occassionally I do have a craving for chips or cookies.. but I usually just take a small piece and that'll satisfy my urge. Last night was tough though.. a July 4th BBQ and I probably went off my diet although I did try and eat smaller portions. Tonight I'll try and make up for it by working out and today I've been guzzling down the water to wash everything out. Yay for peeing.

On Wednesday I went to Old Navy and bought a size smaller jeans than I usually wear because I felt like I was swimming in my normal jeans. They're snug, but they fit perfectly.. no tummy overflowing the top and my ass looks pretty good in them. HAHAHA I couldn't believe the other day when I was chatting to Andrea.. she is absolutely gorgeous.. she has a killer body and guys hit on her ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME. Anyways, she told me what size jeans she wears and it's the same as I fit in right now! Well, my jeans are probably on the bigger size of the size scale.. but that gave me hope. I'll be very happy 2 more sizes down. That's my goal for Hawaii. Then I'm thinking maybe a piercing.. or another tattoo..

Wednesday, July 03, 2002

omg OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look at this ad I found today on craigslist..<

Sounds incredible.. I could even bring Isabella there if I wanted. (maybe convince Bob to bring Tavi since we still ride together?) Rent is incredible.. the place sounds amazing. I gave the guy a call.. still waiting for him to call me back. He sent me an email saying it's north of Orinda, south of Martinez, very close to Briones Regional Park where I ride all the time - it's great there because you can bring dogs loose on the trail with you!!!!

Keep your fingers crossed for me..

Hehe, this place sends anonymous emails to people chastising or praising them about anything you choose. I sent a few out myself.

Tuesday, July 02, 2002

http://www.stileproject.com/flash/waldo.html

Is it just me or has this week been going by sloooooowly?? I'm pretty much finished for my work for today and it's only friggin 3pm. Ughhhhh.. two more hours to go. Someone email me or call me. Wait, I can't check my hotmail from work.. * You can page me at least.. 9252127605@mobile.mycingular.net Entertain me.. Isa's been gone all week so I've been taking short short lunches and I'm getting my work done really fast. :(

Okay, since I've been drinking quite a bit of water, I've had to pee quite a bit as well. Today I go into the bathroom (there are 2 stalls), I place my bum protector down on the seat and sit down. The lady in the stall next to me just Riiiiips one really loud. I'm amazed and shocked. First of all, I had no idea there was anyone in the bathroom so it scared the bejeezus out of me. Second, I felt really really embarrassed for that person to rip one that loud.. I mean, I wasn't exactly quiet making my entrance into the bathroom so she must've known I was there. So I pee really fast and hurry to wash my hands and another woman comes in.. a member of the PFN. I wash my hands and on the way to the handtowels I glance over and see her feet. Her feet are placed right next to each other. Who pees like that? With your legs together? Even you guys that can stand up and pee.. you don't place your feet right next to each other, do you? You gotta spread a little to give stuff room.

Monday, July 01, 2002

Like you guys will read this.. but I'm bored and want to fill up time at work and look like I'm busy :)

Name three foods you regularly eat:
1. Nutrition bars
2. Fruit protein drinks
3. Hummus

Name three drinks you regularly drink:
1. Water
2. Water
3. Green tea

Name three ice cream flavors you love:
1. Mint chocolate chip
2. Cookies 'N Creme
3. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Name three things currently attached to your body:
1. New purple stone silver necklace from Express
2. Fossil silver watch
3. Silver ring from my dad

Name three random facts about your family:
1. Lizette's stomach looks like a sorting hat (she says this herself)
2. Mark has hairy "wings" on his back
3. My mom wants sex - only after my brother is gone to college though

Name three colors you love:
1. Royal purple
2. Green tea green
3. A deep rich blood red

Name three items in your bag/purse:
1. Franklin Planner
2. Nine West Wallet
3. Cellphone with cool glow in the dark transparent purple cover

Name three bad habits you hate people doing:
1. Eating with their mouth open
2. Fake laughs
3. Clipping your nails at work (UGggghghh)

Name three bad habits you possess:
1. Drive too fast
2. I hate admitting I'm wrong
3. I like getting my way (spoiled oldest child syndrome)

Name three things you enjoy:
1. Riding Isabella and exploring trails
2. Snuggling with China
3. Watching cheesy reality TV shows like "Search for an American Idol" and "Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska"

---Body---
1. What do you most like about your body? My lips or my boobs. My skin used to be pretty good until I got off the pill.. I have my annual next week so I'm going to get back on the pill again.

2. And least? My legs, short and stocky.

3. How many fillings do you have? No idea.. 6 maybe?

4. Do you think you're good looking? When I'm in a good mood. HAHAHAHA

5. Who would you look like if you could look like anyone besides yourself? Catherine Zeta Jones. Hot.

6. Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking? Yes.. I have nice friends :)

7. Do you look like any celebrities? Hmm.. not many asian celebrities out there.

-- Fashion --
1. Do you wear a watch? Yes

2. How many coats and jackets do you own? 2 sweater jackets from Old Navy, a black heavy suede one, a winter one from Abercrombie and Fitch, and a light black knee length one.

3. Favorite pants/skirt color? Black or jeans

4. Most expensive item of clothing? my black suede jacket.. I don't even wear it much because its bulky and it doesn't get too cold in California

5. What kind of shoes do you wear? Sketcher loafers, sneakers, sandels

6. Describe your style in one word: Adaptable

Okay I got done way too quickly with my work so I'm sitting here. Bored. Bored. Bored.
Bored.

Bored.

This is insane. Why would anyone buy an $80 watermelon? I first saw square watermelons on the Simpson's when they went to Japan (my favorite Simpson episode, btw - I love the hotel toilet cam). I don't get it.. square watermelons. Watermelons are one of my favorite fruits.. I love em. BUT SQUARE???

So on this new diet I've been on I've lost almost 15 pounds so far (yay me!). However this weekend was tough.. I think I'm PMSing because I was having all sorts of cravings for food. I tried to keep them in check though by eating healthy stuff. My new favorite friend is hummus.. yummy. I love the stuff.

This weekend was.. in one word.. scorching. It was definitely over 100 yesterday.. and probably Saturday as well. I watched the S.Korea vs Turkey game on Saturday. Very exciting.. Turkey scored a goal in the first 10 seconds! Normally I'm not a big World Cup fan.. but I had to watch because S. Korea was playing. Rafael at work has been raving about how beautiful Brazil plays.. so I had to watch the Finals where they played Germany. I routed for the Brazilians.. (not because of the wax thing). You know.. Germany has the whole holocaust thing and all.. they have to pay. HAHAAHAHA

I was bored last night.. so I entered one of the SF chat rooms on MSN. Got into a conversation with a few people in there.. and in the span of half an hour, 3 guys wanted me to call them. What's up with that? Hmmm... well, I didn't talk to any one of them. I'm in a chat room to.. well.. chat. The phone seems like a big leap from just text talk. There seems to be more intimacy involved in a one on one discussion where you can't just disconnect or make the excuse that you have to take the dogs outside or go pee on whim. GAHHHHH the pressure.