My Ya-Ya Sisterhood name: Duchess Serious-as-a-Heart-Attack

So last night I went to visit the house that had the room for rent. It was a nice older house in Pleasant Hill.. within walking distance to the Sun Valley mall. It was a nice single story 3 bedroom home with a pool table and a pool outside. The guy had obviously done a lot of work on the place.. very simple and liveable. Seems pretty good so far.. I brought China along to meet his dog, Duke. As soon as Duke got into contact with her he would hump her LIKE MAD!! Poor China girl.. she was hanging her head down with her hackles raised like, "What did you get me into mom??" The owner pulled his dog off of her and stuck him in the backyard. He gave me a tour of the house with China happily trotting along beside us. He seemed to really like her. After the tour he introduced Duke to China again... same thing, he immediately began molesting my poor girl! Well, he wasn't quite trained at all.. and the owner didn't want China in the house because of the new carpet. :( China's my girl.. she hangs out with me inside the house as I watch TV, work out, on the computer, and at night she sleeps under my bed (I know, she's quirky.. but I have a feeling its due to her insecurity because she was a stray). So.. no go on this home. I emailed a few other ads last night so I'm waiting to hear from them.

No real news today... that guy Jim at work is still after me I guess. He emails me at least once a week (sometimes I don't even reply) and he goes out of his way to say hello to me. This morning I was walking into work and I was by the security building.. he's across the street and yells out my name, "HEY JULIENNE!!!!!!!!!" Sheeesh! So I turn and while real quick then get on my merry little way. Isa and Rafael are telling me to just do it and sleep with the guy already.. HAHAHA!! Yeah right. 1. he smokes 2. he looks older than he says he is (32 yrs) 3. it seems he has hootchie mamas all over the company from what I've spoken to him. YUCKO. No thanks.

I need a young boy to play around with. Enough with the older men.

I've made up my mind to try and get to Hawaii sometime this year. I'm thinking possibly September or maybe October. I don't care who I go with, I just want to go!! I'm looking around for cheap places to stay and places to buy cheap airline tickets. I'm going to go, relax, get tan, and shop. No pressures of boys or work.. just me time :) I bought this bathing suit last weekend at Macy's and I can't wait to actually get a decent tan this year!

I had a bunch of odd dreams last night.

In the first dream, a horse wanted to have sex with me. GROSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! NASTY! and really friggin bizarre. I don't understand why I had this dream.

The second dream I was in the lab building that I work inside. I saw a person carrying a dog around and I asked one of the animal technicians what was going on.. she said that one of the investigators are now working on dogs.. I was heartbroken. I toured the place they were keeping the dogs and found another huge pen where there were various other animals, some almost freakish looking (like that guy's island.. island of Dr. Monroe or something like that). I vividly remember a huge parrot I was carrying around that flew away to a nearby tree.. I remember it flapping its wings and flying away and thinking that it thought it was free.. but in actually, living inside a place where it would have to be used for tests.

In real life news, I told Bob that I'm moving out eventually.. sometime this year. I'm making a goal towards September. I thought that I could take my time.. but the more I live with him, the more I realize that its not healthy for both of us to continue on our lives without each other in these living conditions. So I'm looking for a house.. one with a big yard for China to play in. I found an ad on craigslist for a house in Concord that this guy owns with his 2 year old golden retriever. He wants $800 to split a 3 bedroom house with a backyard and a pool. Sounds pretty darn nice.. what's the catch? I'll find out tomorrow night.

Check out this auction..

What do people say behind your back? Find out @ digitalcharisma

Alright my previous post was pretty dry.. I did blahblah, then blahblah.. now for the editorial.

Thank goodness I have girlfriends I can still go out with.. although I do feel a bit of an age gap between myself and them (Andrea is 35 and Sharon is 44), we share a common bond with the horses and of course, experiences with men. Actually Sharon has had only one man in her life, a married guy. She has a sweet soul, but right now in her life she is working at Kmart and living with her sisters. She has a lot of maturing to do.. and she lets us know that she is horny as hell. One of these days Andrea and I are going to the porn shop to buy her a dildo.

Andrea is engaged to be married to a sweet, rich man next year. She also has one of those rare souls that are good and kind.. she knows both Bob and me and she's been a wonderful support throughout everything going on. She was burned by her ex-husband and she tells me many stories of what a freak he was and how lucky I was to not have to go through that.

Being with them makes me feel good.. to have friends to chat and converse with.. to be myself. It makes me self-confident, happy about myself. They make me feel assured that people do love me and I'm not a horrible person.

Andrea made this deeeeelishous caesar salad dressing with lots of garlic.. I felt it last night after getting ready for bed.. when you eat so much you can still taste it after you brush your teeth and when you get up in the morning.. and this morning I had an upset stomach at work. I've been drinking lots and lots of water trying to flush it out of my system. It's working but I have to friggin pee every 10 minutes. Having to pee is a strange sensation.. when you get past the point of *gotta pee, gotta pee in my pants now* to *my clit feels like its going to explode*, when you finally do pee its almost like an orgasm its such a relief. Interesting, eh?

I had a fun weekend.. kept me very busy which was good!

Friday night I went over to Andrea's straight after work. I met Stacey, the masseure who gave me about an hour massage.. she uses swedish techniques mixed in with some deep tissue work. My butt and thighs got the deep tissues stuff.. it wasn't too bad. I once had a massage in Calistoga which left me sore for days afterwards. Andrea made us some yummy mexican lasagna then we chatted away in the hot tub until 1:30am or so. It was quite fun and provided some much needed relaxing.

Saturday Bob and I took everyone over to Briones and had a pleasant trail ride together with the dogs. We chased cows all over the place ("That group over there looks like they need to go to the water trough!") China impressed us by pushing the cows along with us (for a retriever) and Blade, the herding dog, did nothing. We had to be careful though.. you're not supposed to bother the cows in the parks. But we did anyways cuz it was fun. In the evening we went to see "The Bourne Identity" with Matt Damon. I knew nothing about the film and it really impressed me.. it was unique and different.. not the best movie of the season, but it had its moments. Damon and the leading woman didn't seem to have any chemistry at all and the kissing scene seemed out of place. I'm glad that Bob and I are still able to do things like this even though we aren't together anymore.

Sunday I woke up late again then went shopping at the Pleasant Hill mall. I bought a cute Calvin Klein bathing suit which cost waaaaay too much and a frilly top. Then headed over to Express (my new favorite store!) and bought undies (I love their underwear!) and some black pants on sale. It's nice trying on clothes after you've lost weight.. although from the dressing room mirrors I still have a ways to go before I'll be at my goal. I picked up Sharon then headed over to Andrea's again to go watch "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood". I didn't really know anything about this movie either.. just that it was a chick flick. I counted about 5 guys in the full theatre.. it was a good movie.. I don't know if guys could relate, but it did get me thinking about my mom and how devoted she is to me. There is no other love like that in the world.. and it made me more adament about one day having a little girl myself. :)

Tonight I'm going over to Andrea's for a girls night out.. she's having a masseuse come over to massage us all then we're headed out to dinner and a soak in the hot tub. :) My reward for losing 10 pounds so far on my diet. My goal is to fit into this pair of Rocky's jeans I've had since college.. they fit after the summer I worked in Yosemite guiding trail rides through the park. That summer I was the fittest I've ever been.. riding 8 hours a day and feeding horses morning and night will do that to you..

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination.

End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord. (Lev. 1:9) The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness. (Lev. 15:19-24) The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,

Jim ---

Men are selfish, cynical and mean. I am not looking forward to dating again.

My mom called me this morning and I spoke to her a little about why Bob and I split up. Part of the reason was because I didn't like the person who I was becoming around him. Because of some underlying differences that upset me, I would become mean to him whenever he irritated me. He pretty much just accepted this and I would feel even worse. She told me that this isn't the true person I really am and she almost made me cry because she still has faith in me that I am a good person and not truely like this. Okay I'm at work and I'm really trying not to tear up as I'm writing this. I love my mother.. she knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. She planted that seed inside me that gives me a little hope that maybe I can express pure love towards someone without having it blemished by ill feelings.

Anyways, I made that statement at the beginning because right now it's hard for me to think that there is a person out there that truely believes in a sincere, untainted love with the relationship ideals that I hold.

I need to bleed.

I feel incredibly sad right now. After many weeks of trying to see if our relationship was salvagable, Bob and I decided to part our ways in life. Last night on the way to see the counselor I started crying because I couldn't keep it in anymore.. the fact that I didn't think we were going to make it. I had remained emotionally detached from him because I didn't want to give him false hope and promises. Spending time with him over the weekend just clarified some of the reasons why I thought we shouldn't be together.

We decided to go see the counselor even though both of us were quite upset. She was helpful I think, acting as the mediator between our emotions and being able to clearly express how each of us felt. It was emotionally draining. For the first time in all this commotion I felt what I think is grief.. incredible sorrow. When I first brought this up with Bob I felt a huge sense of relief.. but not sorrow.. and I think my heart is finally realizing that this is it.

I only hope that Bob and I can still remain good friends throughout this. I feel no ill will towards him and I only pray that he doesn't have any towards me. I still enjoy spending time with the horses and dogs together with him and I hope he feels the same.

So I am hurting right now.. how long does the grieving process take place? I don't know. As I've said before, I deal with negative emotions by bottling them in.. keeping strong face for my family and friends. In my journey through life, I am alone now.

If you go to the board and click on the 'load' button, a list comes up of all the different drawings people have saved. For some reason the board is not sending the pictures to people so I've just been taking a print screen if I want to save a drawing.

I added a white board to play on.. click now!

Peanut butter and jelly with a baseball bat, wheereee at?? whereee at??

I have so many pictures of me sticking my tongue out!



This one makes me look like Lizette with her pointy chin and all.

Last night I dreampt that I was in the hospital pregnant.. I didn't realize I was pregnant until I started having contractions. The staff was concerned about me because my stomach really wasn't big enough for a full term pregnancy and when they checked me I was 7 cm dilated. I would walk around the hospital because then my contractions weren't as painful. I kept having thoughts about what I was going to do with this baby.. adoption.. even wondering if the baby would be born dead since I never felt it move.

Very very strange.

Today's been busy.. full of meetings and tomorrow I have a full day long experiment. I'm soooo tired! I want to crawl under my desk and take a nap.

I was checking my access logs and someone was looking for this in google:
i pooped in your mom last night i pooped inside of her it was so funny i bet you wish that you were there to see me poop directly into your mom it was so cool you don't even know because i pooped into her so much she was dying i almost killed her from pooping into her so damn much sometimes when i am pooping in your mom i just don't know what to do to stop myself from pooping so much that it kills her but i know that i won't kill her oh well

and I was the number one site to come up.

Pure angel? Me? Yeah right.



What kind of ANGEL are you?

Quiz made by Angela

I had a variety of different dreams last night that I only remember little snippets of. Okay to give a little background.. last night while I was working out I was watching this show, Bachelorettes in Alaska. All right, it's pretty much the lowest of the low as far as reality TV goes. 5 women from the states looking for the man they are going to marry in Alaska because the women to men ratio is something like 1:20. Anyways, there is a particular man that I've been enraptured with on the show..


Just the other day I was thinking that it's been a while since I've had a little crush like you get when you're young.. like on Tom Cruise or another movie star. His name is Tim and he's just so sweet and innocent and cute on the show.. I just want to lick him all over! He was in my dream.

After the show I got online and was watching people play Q3. A friend of mine were making up stupid raps so part of my dream I was rapping.

I was also talking to another friend online and somehow he got incorporated into the dream as well.

I've also been waking up at around 3am wide awake, ready to start the day. This morning I awoke and went to the bathroom to pee and China was sitting on the floor inside. Apparently she had gone to the bathroom for a drink of water (she licks the shower walls) and the door closed behind her. Silly dog!

Sometime this week I'm planning on making changes to the other sections of my webpage.. be prepared for an update. :)

Omg.. funny.. and probably true.. funny quiz results today.

Okay, slow down here, you shouldn't try to please everyone, and you definately shouldn't try to spend every waking moment with them either. Two aspirin are prescribed for every two minutes with you. But don't worry, there's hope, just learn to back off a little and maybe get tested for ADD, and you'll make a friend. Maybe even two.

You’re Michelle Branch! You’re the ‘girl nextdoor’ type of gal. You’ve got a down-to-earth feel about you, and you’re not afraid to be original. You’re still trying to find yourplace in life, but that doesn’t mean you’re not enjoying the trip. Rich and famous? Sure! But you’re not gonna let that go to your head. ;D

What Kind of Pop Princess Are You? Quiz by Jonah

I see all you Quake people looking at my site!

Hmm.. somehow one of my photos got posted on a bulletin board.. without my permission. I really don't care that my picture is posted.. just next time ask me first mkay?

I'm not sure what mangina means.. I think it's when I guy had a vagina? Or like maybe when he tucks his penis in between his legs like that guy in "Silence of the Lambs" so it disappears?

Anyways, I did a search on google.. couldn't find much except for this guy. His last name is Mangina. Unfortunately his first name is not Harry.

Oh! I got my webcam all set up... it was a cheapy so the quality of the images aren't very good.. but ah well, I didn't want to spend that much anyway on it. I'll try and post some images tonight.. want butt pictures?? HEHEEHE

This weekend was the weekend of rental movies.

First came 'The Others'. If you haven't seen it.. I recommend it highly. It was scary, suspensful.. and it had a good twist at the end. I'm suprised that I hadn't heard about the twist.. my friends gab about the movie all the time and they didn't spill the ending for me. Anyways.. it was good.

Next was 'Legally Blonde'. Cute.

And last night I saw 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone' (I had to buy this DVD). I came up with the question.. Who would win between Dumbledore and Gandalf? Tough choice.. and which would you want more.. the Sorcerer's Stone or the Ring that Frodo is carrying?

I had a dream last night about prom.. and that I didn't have a date. I don't remember many other details about it.

Big Dick guy has re-emerged and is emailing me again. He said he "saw me today" and "wondered if anything was wrong" since I hadn't been replying to any of his emails.

I asked Mark if he scored during his prom night and he hasn't responded to me.. I didn't score on my prom night.. my boyfriend and I at the time just went over with a big group to our friend's place and crashed there after we were done drinking and talking. I distinctly remember pulling out all the bobby pins from my hairdo and having my hair stay in the same position from all the hairspray.. my girlfriend Caren and I were doing it and it was hilarious at the time.. guess you had to be there. :)

My boss's boss's boss quit today.. the VP of biotechnology for our company.. not good timing. BT has been looking to merge with another private company to become independent from the rest of "*&%^#$" (the parent company) and this won't make merging any easier.

Lotsa people jumping ship.. they tell us that our jobs are secure for another year and a half and if we haven't found a partner by then we should be concerned. Maybe I should consider nursing school again. I was going to go get my M.S. in nursing care a few years ago.. specifically in neonatal intensive care. We'll see..

HEHHHHEHEHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

14

I act like I'm 14.
This test was brought to you by Melissa - No, really.... Take it here.

Which era in time are you?

Because you're one of the smaller cats, you are often thought of

as an outsider. This doesn't mean you aren't a great person, though -

your big ears serve as a means of gaining greater perception,

and you're an active, fun individual to be around.

I'm a Nothing!




Which Enemy of the Christian Church Are You?

A(nother) Robert and Tim Creation

It's murder on the dancefloor
But you better not kill the groove
Dj, gonna burn this goddamn house right down

Oh, I know I know I know I know I know I know
About your kind
And so and so and so and so and so and so
I'll have to play

If you think you're getting away
I will prove you wrong
I'll take you all the way
Boy, just come along
Hear me when I say
Hey

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Courtesy of achyel. Woohoo.. psychological diseases abound. :)

At work I was nominated to be on the g*&*()&()* Safety commitee. I cannot begin to express to you my displeasure on being on this damn commitee. Nobody asked me, they just figured that I needed to be wasting my time doing crap like this.

Here's a plug for my brother because I think he's funny:

I just got a call from a telemarketer who asked for the oldest adult male over 18 in the household. I cleared my throat and replied in the deepest voice possible, "I'm sorry, mam, there are no adult males in this household." She pauses, confused, and answers back.
"Adult... females...?"
"I'm sorry, I'm not 18."
"...thank...you...for...your...time..." click. Hehehe. We don't like telemarketers in this house.

Being at home a lot lately, Bob gets to talk to a lot of telemarketers. He gets very angry at them (like an old man) and he threatens them with FCC suits and small claims court. I don't know what he's talking about but he starts spewing off all this legal jargon and I'd imagine the people calling get pretty scared.

New guestbook questions.. GO THERE NOW!!!!!!!!!!

<====================================

Remember a while ago I used to bitch all the time about my dumb boss S? I complained about him so much that I got transfered to report directly to his boss. Well, it turns out that S found a job elsewhere and now he'll be leaving on the 20th. I'm not joyous as you'd expect me to be.. I didn't have to interact with him much anymore so I had only minimal idiocy exposure. I'm glad for him.. hopefully he'll flourish more than he did here at his new job doing what he used to do.

The company is in a hiring freeze right now so we won't hire anyone until after July. Even then it'll take a while to sift through all the resumes and to interview candidates.. I hope we find someone I like that I wouldn't mind reporting to.

Today it is expected to go into the 100s.. last night at around 10pm it was 80 degrees outside. I was sitting at the computer and my butt was sweating.. nasty. I took a cold shower and was able to sleep.. but it definitely feels like summer. Lots of horses are colicking right now.. a friend of mine has her daughter's horse at UC Davis right now recovering from surgery. His gut twisted and part of it started necrosing inside of his belly, making him very very ill. Send your positive prayers and thoughts to Monte..

Dogs make your life complicated.

Last night I was taking a clean pair of undies into the bathroom for after my shower. Blade is just standing there in the doorway (I don't know why he does the things he does. He was standing there for no reason). He won't move and is just looking at me and wondering what the heck I want while I'm trying to push him out of the way. So I throw my panties over to the top of the toilet, and wouldn't ya know it.. it falls.. into.. the.. bowl.. (it doesn't end here).. where.. I.. just.. peed.

Ok so I fish them out by one of the dry corners and immediately wash it in the sink. Is this turning you on yet?

I forget to flush the toilet sometimes.. I grew up in Los Angeles during the big water conservation era where 5 minute showers and shared baths were ingrained into our brains. Toilets were only to be flushed when you went poo.

Q: Is this some kind of a joke?

A: You want joke? Look in mirror, you ugly person! This site real.

Had a long weekend because I took yesterday off.

Saturday I attended the West Coast Horse Expo.. I've been to pretty much every single one since the beginning. The day was nice and breezy, very unlike the previous years where it had been scorching hot and unbearable. The best part is going around to see all the different breeds and going shopping. I made a few purchases.. a collar for China which was a little too big for her when I tried it on at home. Bob suggested I get the X-tra large instead of the large (a difference of an inch which cost $2 more) and China promptly chewed off the extra inch that was hanging out.

Sunday was the Walnut Creek Art and Wine Festival. It was much hotter that day.. we didn't stay very long because there was too many people and I was sick of crowds. Imagine a lot of sunburnt loud drunk people in one crowded park.

Yesterday I took Isabella to the vet. $635 later it was found that she has a residual injury to her left stifle and beginning juvenile arthritis in her left hock. She got her hock injected with hyaluronic acid (which coincidently is made by Bayer). Xrays alone cost $400.. so OUCH. yeah. Dr. Black says she probably has about 3-5 good riding years left :( then we'll have to reevaluate when she becomes uncomfortable. He said surgery would be an option then.. or other new technologies that are coming out. Anyways, I'm sad. I just hope I'll be able to ride her and keep her happy and healthy for as long as I can.. I'll never sell her.. she's my girl.

Takin Isabella to Dr. Black's today.. no posts until later. CYA!