YeeeHAW ! I'm feeling happy. Despite the sadness I'll be toiling away all day. Ugh, now I'm sad.

Today I have a huge long experiment that will take me away from wasting time on the 'net. I'm sad.

Long day.. my shoulders still ache. Maybe I'm holding something inside that's causing these toxins to keep and stay in these muscles. Don't know what it could be..

Had a loong meeting this afternoon. Boring stuff and stuff that I had already heard before. Isa and I spent the whole time making fun of people.. people that fell asleep, what a pig my boss is, etc. She wants a boob job.. I told her she could have some of mine. She said my boobs look saggy today in this bra.. I guess it's time to throw the darn thing out. With big boobs like these you tend to wear out your bras pretty fast. The particular one I'm wearing today is beige lace.. the kind I'd always see my mom wear. The underwire fell out a long time ago and there a hole in the right boob, above the nipple. So yes, it's time to throw this one away.

Enterprise sucked. There are two women on board that were featured, one, a scaredy-cat, intelligent asian chick, and the other an ice-queen hottie Vulcan. There was so much gratuitous skin-oil rubbing that it was hard to take it seriously.. the story was also really slow and kind of dull. Give me Voyager with Cpt. Janeway anyday. "Do it."

Love Cruise is still my favorite show so far.. that Tony guy is such a cutie. Too bad he was voted off.

Gaahds. My shoulders hurt bad.. I could use a nice, old fashioned massage.. Bob tried yesterday but it didn't help. I got to work and got out my extra strength Tiger's Balm and at this moment I feel the icey waves penetrating those sore muscles and now I smell like an herbal shop.. whew!. Don't know why I'm so sore.. I was pretty relaxed yesterday.. twice. hehe.

This year I've been learning quite a bit about myself.. the core of my being (not just from those quizes I take online :) 2001 is officially the year of self-discovery for me. I don't want to list everything that I know now because most of it is not flattering. I can see where certain traits I have are stemmed from events in my past. One example, my strength from enduring everything that happened with my family when I was in high school leads to several characteristics: being bold and forthcoming, but also stubborn and obstinate. I really honestly don't know how Bob can deal with me. Accepting oneself after realizing oneself will be difficult.

I took the Love Cruise Quiz, here's my analysis:

Easy-going and playful, you don't take yourself too seriously and that's what attracts people to you. You'd rather ride the waves than make them, which often times leaves you standing alone on the beach. People may accuse you of being dull, but you just prefer the subtle approach.

Quite different from the Tazmanian Devil sex quiz.

Love Cruise: The Maiden Voyage is now my new favorite show. I love shows were people are mean and catty to each other. Enterprise is also on tonight, against the Love Cruise. Thank goodness I have Tivo so I can watch both. :) I love TV.

Okay, so I'll be adding a links page. If you think your page is cool and want to be added, just let me know. :)

If I ever figure out how to add links to the side of the page. You'd think with all the free time I have at work I'd learn how, but to be honest, I'm just too lazy and it really isn't that important to me to learn new stuff. Hahaha..

Okay, Bob and I were rough-housing last night before bed and at one point he exclaims, "Don't you VBF!!" Has anyone heard of this? I certainly haven't.. so I ask what the heck that means.. he tells me VBF = Vaginal Blood Fart. Too gross. UGH. What the heck? He tells me that all little boys know what VBF stands for.. is this really true??

Take the animal sex quiz!

Contributed by my own dear Bob. I took the quiz and here are my stats: ( I took the quiz TWICE )

You are a Marsupial Mouse, a loner in the Australian outback. You're very aggressive, and if you're female, territorial. Males cruise around during mating season and become so enthusiastic when they score that they do it for up to 12 hours, sometimes dying from exhaustion while in the throes of passion. However, once the act is done, the male is out the door and ready for another partner, while the female returns to patrolling her space. Oh, and you're not really a mouse — you belong to a group of marsupials that includes the Tasmanian Devil.

Comments now work so comment away. Commence the comments! I coerce you to comment. Carefully cradle the coitus comment.

In two weeks Bob and I will be doing our first endurance ride. We'll be riding 25 miles at the Dell Valle Regional Park for the Vulture Venture. We rode there this past Saturday to check out the trail and had so much fun riding in the lake and swimming with the horses.. Blade, the poopy little wimp dog wouldn't come into the water even if the horses were in. I was totally soaked almost up to my chest. It was a blast.

Yesterday Bob and I played Quake3 until about midnight.. this morning I feel like a zombee. I had watched the Miss America pageant recorded on Tivo right before our Quake marathon so in my fitful sleep I had visions of little men running around with flags (played Capture the Flag), rockets blasting into little tunnels, and pageant women walking around with diamond crowns on their heads. Ugh, I'm so tired.

I'd say I'm a pretty decent Quake3 player. I just started playing Friday and by Sunday I was holding my own, getting into the top 5 even and top 2 on certain maps. Mark (my bro) says that when I become good I can color my name. If any of you out there do play (we use GameSpy) look for me.. my handle is 'Akasha', non-colored (for now, muhaha)

This is how I felt when I was trying to wake up from my surgery.

So I got all 4 wisdom teeth removed a week ago today. I haven't written about it up until now because I really try and remove negative experiences from my mind but now my mouth is bothering me again so I might as well share the misery.

My appt was at 8am and I was to have general anesthesia - to be fully under. This was my choice because I hate needles of any kind and will freak out. One time I was giving blood and I pictured my arm turning green and shriveling up like a pistacio. Needless to say, I started sweating all over and they stopped the IV. This was right after the Oklahoma City bombing.. the people at Red Cross were nice, but they pretty much kicked me out.. wimp! No, they didn't, but I haven't given blood since then.

When I arrived at the office, they hooked up all sorts of gadgets on me. A pulsoximeter on my finger, two huge clampy things on both forearms, and an automatic blood pressure gauge on my left forearm. It was interesting to see my pulse and blood pressure as I watched the nurses run around and prepare for my surgery. My "resting" pulse was about 80 and blood pressure around 105/70. As I watched them bring out the needles and the tools my pulse would rise to 85. As the doctor put in the needle to administer the anesthesia, it was around 90. My doctor is actually a pretty good looking guy. He looked like the Yeti man on 'Friends'.

So the procedure itself was really short.. Bob came in afterwards and was in there for quite some time (which I don't recall). All I remember when I woke up was how drowsy I was.. drowsy.. like the Pokemon.. and how my whole lower jaw was numb. I also had two huge pieces of gauze in my mouth. I kept wanting to go back to sleep but the nurse was telling me I had to wake up. I took that in my drug-induced state as 'Hurry up, we gotta get you out of here'. So I rushed out the best I could, hanging on to Bob out to the car. Bob told me later that snails and turtles could've probably beaten us two times around. When I got home I did a nice face-plant into the couch.

I'm better now.. although I have two holes on my lower jaw that I don't think are normal. Rice gets stuck in there and that's pretty annoying. I recovered fairly quickly.. by Sunday I was riding although pretty weak from not having normal food for two days. I've been taking Aleve because the Vicodin I was on was really getting me nauseous.. I have about 15 pills left.. any takers?

Stories like this I usually find really corny.. but I made myself read through this one and it tugged at my heart.. I know those of you that surround yourself with animals can emphasize.

WELCOME AT RAINBOW BRIDGE
by AlexanderTheodore, Bouvier, Fourth Year Resident
On the morning of September 11, 2001, there was an unprecedented amount of activity at the Rainbow Bridge. Decisions had to be made. They had to be made quickly. And, they were.
An issue, not often addressed here, is the fact that many residents really have no loved one for whom to wait. Think of the pups who lived and died in hideous puppy mills. No one on earth loved or protected them. What about the many who spent unhappy lives tied in backyards? And, the ones who were abused. Who are they to wait for?
We don't talk about that much up here. We share our loved ones as they arrive, happy to do so. But we all know there is nothing like having your very own person who thinks you are the most special pup in the Heavens.
Last Tuesday morning a request rang out for pups not waiting for specific persons to volunteer for special assignment. An eager, curious crowd surged excitedly forward, each pup wondering what the assignment would be.
They were told by a solemn voice that unexpectedly, all at once, over 4,000 loving people had left Earth long before they were ready. All the pups, as all pups do, felt the humans' pain deep in their own hearts. Without hearing more, there was a clamoring among them - "May I have one to comfort?" "I'll take two, I have a big heart." "I have been saving kisses forever."
One after another they came forward begging for assignment. One cozy-looking fluffy pup hesitantly asked, "Are there any children coming? I would be very comforting for a child 'cause I'm soft and squishy and I always wanted to be hugged." A group of Dalmatians came forward asking to meet the Firemen and be their friends. The larger working breeds offered to greet the Police Officers and make them feel at home. Little dogs volunteered to do what they do best, cuddle and kiss.
Dogs who on Earth had never had a kind word or a pat on the head, stepped forward and said, "I will love any human who needs love."
Then all the dogs, wherever on Earth they originally came from, rushed to the Rainbow Bridge and stood waiting, overflowing with love to share - each tail wagging an American Flag.

I give up on the comments thing. Gotta watch Big Brother.

My next goal is to try and get a comments section in my blogger. I tried this once and it didn't work (because of the freeserver site not supporting the comments program). So now I have to figure out how to do it again.. figuring out something that you dismissed is harder than figuring it out fresh and new.

Now you can yell and pick at whatever I have to say..

Oh yeah! Another bit of interesting news.. Bob found out that Peking Boy is right next to the local porno shop in Concord.

Last night Bob and I had Domino's pizza.. couldn't resist the sight of the cheesy bread on the tele (even though we had tons of chinese food leftovers from Peking Boy) So we get a medium onion and mushroom with cheezy bread. This morning I woke up at about 3am (to Blade hacking) and I can't get back to sleep because my stomach is cramping so much. Didn't help that all yesterday I had bread.. for breakfast (bagel), for lunch(bagel, oreo, granola bar), and more starch for dinner. So I was on the toilet until the alarm went off. Bob had diarrhea too. Domino's pizza.. evil! EVIL!!!!!!!! Cheezy bread EVIL.

I haven't been writing much.. I've been mainly trying to gather my thoughts about the tragedy that has befallen our nation. I've been avoiding the news now because most of what comes out is speculation and rumor and I can get very easily caught up in that. Lizette sent me an e-mail.. she's very upset and angry. She seems to dive right into all of this and gets very involved whereas I seem to avoid it.. there is even a little bit of denial in me. I keep living my life, in my little own world because it hasn't really *hit* me. For the first time yesterday I saw a photo of a man falling from the towers.. it looked like a computer game.. like SimTower.. a little man that decided to fall out of the building. I'm a product of my video-game playing, movie-watching, nothing-can-hurt-me generation.

I don't know why I have this emotional detachment from what happened. Don't get me wrong, when i first heard the news I cried.. I stood there in front of the TV with tears falling from my eyes, hugging Bob, with my heart just feeling like it was ripped from my chest and beaten. I think I'm scared. Despite what happened, I don't want to go to war. My brother is 17, if this drags on, he could be shipped to God knows where to fight. I don't know what the answers are, but it seems inevitable now that there is more blood to be shed.

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. - Ghandi

Had to share..

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Cinema/3117/sociosmurf2.htm

(stolen from pugugly.org)

My Silver Spurs NATRC story is up.. check it out

Woke up this morning to reports that terrorists attacked the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon. Thousands of innocent lives were taken. What has this world come to? The United States government gives the citizens the impression that we're all invincible, putting money into missiles and military spending. But they can't stop a plane from being hyjacked and crashed into a building. This is all so incredibly sad.. my heart cries for all those people out there who have relatives or friends that are involved. God bless us all. Maybe now we as a country can look at ourselves and get our priorities straightened out.

F***RRRkkn-A what's up with that last post? I don't want to type it again and I can't figure out how to delete it so... to sum it all up - we're going to our 3rd CTR this weekend. Blade's doing better, I feel luved!!

Hey, we're headed to

INSIDE HER MIND is up........YAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Inside Her Mind is almost up.. I just need to upload a few pictures that didn't get through and polish some of the features like the guestbook and redirect the blogger. Woohoo! I'm thinking about forgoing the main page and just going directly to the blogger. Haven't decided yet.. I worked so hard on that first page!

Blade came along when we went riding at Chabot on Sunday. Poor little boy.. we really didn't listen to him and yesterday he was pretty sore. We rode for about 4 hours at a good pace (probably about 16 miles) and Blade was dragging at the end. We made sure to keep him and the horses well hydrated, but I'm afraid it was just too long of a distance for him. He was tagging along with us on rides earlier in the summer, but he was pretty much a couch potato for the past 2 months or so.. poor little dood.

Last night we ordered from Peking Boy again. Damn they're good.. you get a HUUUGE thing of fried rice or chow mein for only $4 bucks! Can't beat that. No appt with the toilet this time either.. good deal!

Bob and I had a pretty good time this weekend. We went riding both days and on Monday I went into work so I could get Friday off. Saturday night we went to Sun Valley mall because I had to make a return and buy some lotion. Here is the scene at Aveda.

There are three saleswomen standing around, two of them are applying makeup to the third gal, saying things like, "Oh, this blush would really look good against your skin tone.. fall's just around the corner.." I walk in with Bob and grab some moisturizer from the shelf. Bob quickly makes himself invisible and camoflauges himself against the wall. A tall gal, not more than 20 years old approaches me, "Can I help you find something?" Moisturizer in hand I say, "Umm.. I'm looking for an eye shadow." I usually buy a dark color, usually the cheapest one from the grocery store.. but I decided to support the all-plant extract, non-animal testing products of Aveda this time. Tall Gal leads me over to the makeup console and proceeds to cover the back of my hand with various shades of eye color, much to my chagrin. How the heck is all that gonna come off?? I quickly choose a dark metallic green and try to high-tail it to the register.. but she stops me. "You only want one color? Oh, I love this color.. I use it on my crease (??).. but you need a base color as well." Hrmm.. I'm asian. I don't have a 'crease'. I grit my teeth and put on my best fake smile.. "That's fine, I only want this one.. really." I pay my $40, Bob re-emerges from his hiding spot, and we leave.