Posted by a fellow endurance rider on an email list (pretty much sums up the horse's perspective on endurance rides):

An endurance horse was a recent guest on the Dave Letterman show.
Following is a transcript from the show:
David Letterman:" Let's give him a big hand, he trotted in all the
way from Auburn!" (Crowd roars) "Welcome to the show, you ol' hayburner!'
Horse: "Thanks, Dave. Good to be here. Thought I was gonna be
late. Really had to hoof it over here."
Dave: " So what's shakin' in the world of endurance riding these
days?"
Horse: "Lots, Dave. Convention's comin' up in about two weeks.
Some great speakers, fabulous trade show. Good place to blow some bucks
and learn square dancing. Lots of new riders coming into the sport. New
vet standards, more international competition.They even got a committee
of people lookin' out for my welfare."
Dave: "Really? SPCA?"
Horse: "Nope. AERC. And they're settin' the world standard in
health and safety for the equine athlete."
Dave: "How's that going?"
Horse: "Pretty good. Pretty good. It's like joining a union. Ya
see, they got these horse doctors, who check me out in all kinds of
ways, and touch me in places I can't mention on TV. They do this before,
during and after a ride, and if I'm not lookin' too shiny, they give me
the rest of the afternoon off. I get to go back to the trailer and eat
and drink as much as I like. Even take a nap if I want to. Someone then
usually watches over me, wringin' their hands--all nervous like. Nothin'
seems to make 'em happy until I pee and poop!" Then they smile, breathe
a sigh of relief, and proudly inspect the quality of my work. Sometimes
they're so proud they even bring a friend over to show them. So, I just
keep eatin', and poopin'. If I don't, that there horse doctor is gonna
reach into one end of me or the other and make it happen. It ain't
pleasant, Dave."
Dave: "I had no idea it was like that. How do you cope with that?"
Horse: "Well, if you're lucky, you get placed with a rider who
cares more about me eatin' and drinkin' and poopin' and peein', than
holdin' his pants up or coverin' his walls. They got treeless saddles
that feel good on my back, sheepskin covered girths so I don't chafe,
and even these cute little overshoes they put on me. I guess it's a way
of accessorizin'. They paint numbers on my ass, but I don't know why. I
can't even count to ten. I get lots of carrots, and baby talk (like I
understand it). I get to wear a nice warm blanket at night, and all my
meals are catered. If I get injured or have some other painful
condition, after the ride they give me drugs that make me glad I got
hurt! Sometimes my rider cracks enough beers where he ain't feelin no
pain either.
Dave: "So how far do they actually ride you?
Horse: "Good question. They got rides anywhere from 25 to 100
miles in a day."
Dave: "In a single day?!!! Do they use more than one horse? Do
the riders stop and sleep? Do you get to rest?!!!!!!!!
Horse: "Take it easy, Dave. One horse. One rider. 24 hour time
limit even for a 100 miler. But them there horse doctors keep a real
close eye, and most riders care enough about us ponies that sometimes
they'll pull us out even when the vet says we can go on. Cuz they KNOW
us. And they're supposed to. We spend long hours, days, weeks, months,
even years together. We rely on and protect each other. I'm usually the
only one that's naked, but I'm used to it.
Dave: "Ya know, I'm kind of a lazy guy. I'd be lookin' for a way
to get out of that much work. Any tricks to that?
Horse: "You betcha. I can do a pretty convincing limp. If the
vet's not sure, I drop my head every other step. I can breathe really
fast, and get a dull look in my eyes. I can refuse food and water, and
act like I want to bite at my sides. These will usually get me the day
off, and a lot of treats and lovin'. That anal tone thing is hard to
fake though. I ain't that relaxed."
Dave: "Well, It's been great having you here, tonight. Would you
come back and tell us how you do at Tevis?"
Horse "Glad to Dave. Unless I can think of a way to get out of it."
(Band plays. Horse exits. Fade to commercial)
Dr. Quackenbush, cheesy Hollywood producer