Our house is full of spiders.. we're not talking cute little daddy long legs. I'm talking, HOLY SHIT IS THAT A BLACK WIDOW?? CRAP it's even bigger.. shhiiiiiiitttt.

Well, I have to admit. I'm a bit of a scaredy cat. Yes, I get scared at movies. I get scared at night when I'm by myself.. thank goodness for China and roommates or I'd be locked up in my room whenever it got dark.

To set this story up, I also have to admit that without my contacts I am quite blind. Everything beyond about 5 inches is a fuzzy blur unless I squint real hard and turn my head 37 degrees. Well, last night I'm getting in the shower and see a huuuuuuuuge brown thingy crawling around the tub. I get real close to it, confirm that it's a spider, and get the flat rubber pancake thing to wash it down the drain. Mission accomplished but as I'm doing it I'm saying to myself, "Self, that probably wasn't the best place to put it.. haven't you heard the song, 'Itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout'??" Ugh.

Sooooo.. long story short, I'm washing myself, as I'm doing so I glance down and FREAK OUT - I see this dark blur and I think eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!! it's the spider it's back and it's close to me!! But then I realized it was my right nipple.

Man, what's wrong with me. How embarrassing.