I'm spending the day at home today.. last night I had all these dreams about missing work.. but I decided this is what I really need.. to take some time off and hug my dog. I spoke to the guy I had the dream about last night. He pretty much confirmed that he's busy in his life and wouldn't be able to devote time to a serious relationship (2 jobs, school, and now a possible record label deal). But he does seem very fond of me.

I've been asking myself though.. what do I need right now? He is ambivalent it seems about our relationship which upsets me.. but that forces everything to be taken slow. But then.. how long will it take? Will my emotions eventually be greater than his causing me to get my heart broken? I can see that happening.


I keep thinking to myself.. I don't know what I want.. but you know, I think I do. It just hasn't happened yet. I'm just not sure what to do in the meantime. Wait of course, be patient.. but what about this other guy? Would it be fair to one day say to him, "I know you've been on the sidelines and now I've met the one so I have to let you go." Eeech. Not really my style..